Florida man arrested for assaulting wife with chicken wings.

[TheDeputy]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by Lasher (a host of the Latest Breaking News forum).

Source: The Smoking Gun (Turner-SI Digital)

When Darlene “wouldn’t leave him alone,” Patrick “got mad and threw a bowl of chicken wings at her,” an investigator noted. While the wings “struck her in the upper body,” Darlene told cops that she did not want to press charges and have her spouse jailed.

Despite that request, Patrick (seen at left) was arrested for misdemeanor battery and booked into the county lockup, where bond has yet to be set. He is scheduled for an October 10 court appearance.

Read more: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/wife-battered-with-chicken-wings-576432

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Bizarre choice of weapons. I hope their marriage gets better

[KansDem]

1. "I hope their marriage gets better"

Until it does, they'll just have to wing it.

[livetohike]

2. Good one!

[Rebellious Republican]

3. Even if it is on a WING and a prayer!

[wordpix]

7. this happened on Wingate Rd- you can't make this stuff up

[Rebellious Republican]

8. You forget this is FloriDUH, I know I live here.

[TheDeputy]

5. LOL. n/t

[wordpix]

4. she winged him but he's not mortally wounded

at least he didn't have a gun handy

[KurtNYC]

6. (Casey Kasem voice) "...so for Darlene of South Florida here is Mister Mister

with Broken Wings...

[Rebellious Republican]

9. Casey Kasem voice.....

[yesphan]

19. Wow ! ^

Cassey, didn't know you had it in ya.

[Rebellious Republican]

24. The end was the best about the dead dog rant! RIP Casey!

[Alameda]

31. OMG...this is priceless!

thank you. How well I remember that voice.

[Fuddnik]

10. I assault people with wings all the time.

Ghost pepper or Habanero hot. Usualy one bite and they surrender.

[yuiyoshida]

11. Maybe the wings

wouldn't have stuck, if they had been battered.

[trusty elf]

12. a battered wife n/t

[Jackpine Radical]

13. First he battered the wings

& then he salted his wife…?

[Heather MC]

14. Why do people call the police and then decline to press charges??? Don't call the police then.

[Enrique]

16. she chickened out

[Heather MC]

17. She should have Ducked!

See I am not much better

[yuiyoshida]

20. Well He was a Turkey

I would have called them too.

[Heather MC]

27. The whole situation is just Foul!

[yuiyoshida]

30. Eggsactly!

eom.

[muriel_volestrangler]

22. Her (his?) daughter called the police, not the wife

On edit: 'The Smoking Gun' says it was the wife's daughter, but the police report they quote says it was the husband's daughter (they're only married 3 years, so probably not the daughter of them both, though not definitely). The police report also seems to say the daughter was present at the time - the wife called her to talk about it, and the daughter then called the police.

[Scurrilous]

15. A minor flap.

Nothing to squawk about.

Just add it to the list:

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

[d_r]

18. wait wait wait wait wait

I thought in Florida that if one's wife didn't press charges then one could not be arrested? Isn't that how it works for Zimmerman?

[Monk06]

21. Sounds like lawn mower Steve is at it again.

[Renew Deal]

23. She's the wind beneath his wings

It's best not to throw anything at your spouse, particularly delicious, delectable, and highly demanded chicken wings.

http://theweek.com/article/index/248959/is-mcdonalds-to-blame-for-last-years-chicken-wing-shortage

[loudsue]

25. Check this out! 21% increase in $$ in one year! But there's almost NO INFLATION according to

the government (assholes).

From the article you linked (thank you, btw! ) :

"As Matt Yglesias said at Slate at the time, the National Chicken Council's estimate that there would be 1 percent fewer chicken wings at the Super Bowl was "based on the fact that America produced about 1 percent fewer chickens over the past year than the year before."

But that’s not for want of demand. The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s most recent Livestock, Dairy & Poultry Outlook report said prices for whole chickens were 21 percent higher in December 2012 than December 2011. For wings, the price increase was an even larger 26 percent year-on-year. The rocketing prices are a textbook sign of the steady or growing demand running up against a reduced stock of chickens. " (Slate)

The price of groceries has gone up almost 30% in the past month, and chicken wings are up 21% in one year. And the government keeps telling us there is no inflation. I'm so sick of the lies.

[loudsue]

26. What? 25 replies and no recs???? Whassup with that?

I'm kickkin' and already rec'd.

[elleng]

28. Not 'valuable' enough to rec,

just a bunch of 'chicken-sh*t' jokes!!!

[Sancho]

29. No worries..he had a CCP!

Concealed Clucker Permit..

[jtuck004]

32. If he had a bone to pick with her, he could have found a better way. n/t

[leftyladyfrommo]

33. Something like this happened to my neighbor.

She was frying chicken and her boyfriend just picked up the pan and started hitting her with it.

People are so nuts.

[In_The_Wind]

34. Oh great!

[img][/img]

[kestrel91316]

35. I find this part inexplicable:

".....Darlene told cops that she did not want to press charges and have her spouse jailed. Despite that request, Patrick (seen at left) was arrested for misdemeanor battery....."

Especially in light of the fact that Zimmy walked when something similar but worse happened the other day.

Floriduh never ceases to amaze me with its effed up priorities. Was Patrick perhaps a person of color?

[Lasher]

36. It is with sad regret that I must lock this thread.

It does not conform to the LBN Forum SOP because it is not important news of national interest. I'm sure it would be epic in GD or in the Lounge - if Hosts there will grant a waiver of the ban on chicken threads