Punishment or Child Abuse?by MICHAEL ERIC DYSON

[elleng]

While 70 percent of Americans approve of corporal punishment, black Americans have a distinct history with the subject. Beating children has been a depressingly familiar habit in black families since our arrival in the New World. As the black psychiatrists William H. Grier and Price M. Cobbs wrote in “Black Rage,” their 1968 examination of psychological black life: “Beating in child-rearing actually has its psychological roots in slavery and even yet black parents will feel that, just as they have suffered beatings as children, so it is right that their children be so treated.”...

If beating children began, paradoxically, as a violent preventive of even greater violence, it was enthusiastically embraced in black culture, especially when God was recruited. As an ordained Baptist minister with a doctorate in religion, I have heard all sorts of religious excuses for whippings.

And I have borne the physical and psychic scars of beatings myself. I can’t forget the feeling, as a 16-year-old, of my body being lifted from the floor in my father’s muscular grip as he cocked back his fist to hammer me until my mother’s cry called him off. I loved my father, but his aggressive brand of reproof left in me a trail of un-cried tears.

Like many biblical literalists, lots of black believers are fond of quoting Scriptures to justify corporal punishment, particularly the verse in Proverbs 13:24 that says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” But in Hebrew, the word translated as “rod” is the same word used in Psalms 23:4, “thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” The shepherd’s rod was used to guide the sheep, not to beat them.

Many believers — including Mr. Peterson, a vocal Christian — have confused the correction of children’s behavior with corporal punishment. The word “discipline” comes from the Latin “discipuli,” which means student or disciple, suggesting a teacher-pupil relationship. Punishment comes from the Greek word “poine” and its Latin derivative “poena,” which mean revenge, and form the root words of pain, penalty and penitentiary.

The point of discipline is to transmit values to children. The purpose of punishment is to coerce compliance and secure control, and failing that, to inflict pain as a form of revenge, a realm the Bible says belongs to God alone.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/18/opinion/punishment-or-child-abuse.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=c-column-top-span-region&region=c-column-top-span-region&WT.nav=c-column-top-span-region

[delrem]

1. I don't get it, the up-front declaration of color of skin.

This story could be told of people of every color of skin.

It seems a sin to say otherwise.

[elleng]

2. Because

'black Americans have a distinct history with the subject. Beating children has been a depressingly familiar habit in black families since our arrival in the New World. As the black psychiatrists William H. Grier and Price M. Cobbs wrote in “Black Rage,” their 1968 examination of psychological black life: “Beating in child-rearing actually has its psychological roots in slavery and even yet black parents will feel that, just as they have suffered beatings as children, so it is right that their children be so treated.”.'

[delrem]

5. How is that different than the depressingly familiar stories of beatings in "white" families?

I've seen a lot of it, so don't say it can't be true.

[Exultant Democracy]

6. Yes of course there is abuse in white families too, but you do understand that it isn't the same?

Abuse isn't an institution in mainstream white American culture, because white people have a very different history from black people in America.

[delrem]

7. Is that sarcasm? heavy handed - awful as it seems?

[Exultant Democracy]

9. So you don't accept that there is a major difference from mainstream white culture and mainstream

black culture when it comes to abuse?

Do you even accept that black people face very serious challenges that white people do not face in America?

[jaysunb]

3. Good read

and I concur with Dr. Dyson in every aspect....especially as a16 year old. I left home rather than endure another beating. As a parent of four , I can proudly state that I've never resorted to this kind of behavior in spite of warnings that my children would suffer later. My kids range from 30-47, no drugs, alcohol, or police problems with any of them. I did a lot of threatening, cussin and restrictions, but no violence. The cycle has been broken with this family unit.

Thanks for posting this.

[elleng]

4. You're.welcome.

[ReRe]

8. Same with me. n/t

[libdem4life]

10. If I'd done to my son what was done to me, I'd be in jail. There comes a time to grow up

whether race, culture, religion...whatever.

My son (ADHD) had a "think-about-it" chair in which he sat, unwillingly to be sure, but he stayed until he called me and was ready to "use his words".

We co-lived with 3 cousins for awhile and with them we did "knees". Where two in conflict must sit cross-legged with only the knees touching and talk/listen alternatively until finished. They "cleared it" because they didn't get up until they did, and usually ended up laughing or hugging. Almost always it was a misunderstanding...a failure to communicate.

[elleng]

11. Great solution you came up with,

and thank goodness you survived what was done to you.

Misunderstanding is, I've noticed, an extremely common reason for disagreements>fights.

USE OUR WORDS!

[libdem4life]

12. Thanks.