Crackpot Utopia: The Year in Republican Crazy, Part 8

[TexasTowelie]

Crackpot Utopia: A dream world as envisioned by republicans; a manifestation or expression of the deranged, warped alternate universe inhabited by republicans, at least in their minds. See also: Bachmannism, Boehneresque.

1. Things To Come: Forward Into The Past!

In the last installment of "Crackpot Utopia," I went on about how the 2016 Republican Primary Freak Show has already begun in 2014 with the absolute nuttery of Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, a man who is so highly thought of in republican minds that he is considered presidential material and was once even given the honor of presenting the annual on-air rebuttal to President Obama's State of the Union speech.

Did you think that the last presidential election cycle's republican primary season was the biggest freak show you'd ever seen? Well, it seems that this event gets freakier every time, as many of the old faces, and some new ones, start jockeying for position.

Since it's already begun, I've decided to take the leap and take a guess at what the Crackpot Party and their media allies will be touting as their Ideal Republican Presidential Tickets and Slogans!

-snip- (see the link where the redeeming qualities of each dream ticket are discussed)

·Presidential Dream Ticket #1: Palin-Zimmerman
"Straight-Shootin' Common-Sense Solutions"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #2: Vladimir Putin-Vlad the Impaler
"Bare-Chested Men of Action!"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #3: Cheney-Cheney
"Have a Heart? No, Really, Have a Heart?"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #4: Bush-Bush
"Had Enough?"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #5: Santorum-Mr. Rogers
"It's a Good Day in the Neighborhood!"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #6: Kelly-Hannity
"Santa's white; Jesus is white; anyone that matters is white"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #7: Hannity-Bundy
"Let Me Tell You About the Negro!"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #8: McConnell-Graham
"Let's Dress Up, America!"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #9: Cruz-Perry
"Texas Squared!"

·Presidential Dream Ticket #10: Robertson-Robertson
"Who's on Top?" (this one is interchangeable)

2. Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 9: Former republican VP nominee Paul "Crazy Eyes" Ryan, who has his own "Let me tell you about the Negro" moment:

-snip-

3. Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 10: Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association

-snip-

- See more at: http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2014/12/crackpot-utopia-year-in-republican_30.html