Crackpot Utopia: The Year in Republican Crazy, Part 10

[TexasTowelie]

Crackpot Utopia: A dream world as envisioned by republicans; a manifestation or expression of the deranged, warped alternate universe inhabited by republicans, at least in their minds. See also: Bachmannism, Boehneresque.

1. Newsmax -- Beyond Drudgery

As we all know, republicans live in some sort of comic-book bizarro alternate universe. Unfortunately, that universe overlaps with the real world that normally adjusted people live in. It's a twist of fate that defies the laws of quantum physics, but it is what it is and it's not going to go away anytime soon. The last Dark Ages lasted hundreds of years. Witches were burned and people really thought that plagues are sent by God as punishments for perceived "sins." Sound familiar?

So, you might ask yourself, how has this come about? Is it as simple as what Karl Rove arrogantly said shortly after Bush the Usurper took over the White House? You recall:

"We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality."

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2. Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 12: Michele Bachmann

Really, I couldn't just let Ms. Batshit Loco -- already featured in Part 4 -- leave Washington without one last parting kick. She'll probably resurface on the telly soon anyway. Something like Blaze TV or Newsmax TV will hire her to dispense her unique "wisdom" and "expertise." Meanwhile, shouldn't there be a big book of Bachmann's Greatest Hits so far?

Here's a great one from this year, where she proposes "a 100% tax on monies that immigrants send home," the idea being that a 100-percent tax will make it all disappear.

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3. Crazyspeak of the Year nominee No. 13: Kimberly Guilfoyle

Now who, you ask, is Kimberly Guilfoyle? In the last installment of "Crackpot Utopia," I mentioned Rudy Giuliani's hot man-crush on Russian leader Vladimer Putin. Rudy loves Vlad so much that he rhapsodizes about him being our president. Kimberly is another poor, unfortunate asylum shut-in that Roger Ailes hired to dispense republican kookery on FOX, and she wants Putin or Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in charge of the U.S. "for 48 hours."

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- See more at: http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2015/01/crackpot-utopia-year-in-republican.html