HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » Editorials & Other Articles (Forum) » Vermin News Network Rehab...

Mon Feb 29, 2016, 12:24 PM


Vermin News Network Rehab Edition.

my nephew 'had to go to rehab' and is cut off from the real world except for a few hours on Monday. My sister asked me to provide a news summary for him.

Rehabilitation Monday Leap Day Edition 29 February 2016

Wednesday, February 24, 2016.

The world woke up Wednesday morning practicing the phrase "President Trump". Most of the world that is except the Official Media in the United States, which organization has decided that the real contest in the Republican Party is for which bizarre nutjob comes in a distant second place to Trump in the primary contests. Their current favorite distant second bizarre nutjob is a loon named "Marco Rubio". The official narrative is that Mr. Rubio is a "moderate" alternative to the nasty nazi Trump.The reality is that the nasty nazi Trump is more moderate on just about every issue except immigration, where he is a startlingly overt nazi. Rubio actually has the same immigration policies, he just doesn't let loose his inner nazi.

Meanwhile the FBI continues to pretend that it has no way at all, ever (really they don't) to access the data on the iphone that belonged to the nutjobs who shot up the christmas party in San Bernadino. This appears to be a PR campaign to force congress to pass legislation requiring encryption systems to have back doors the government can access any time they see fit. Apple has so far refused to comply with demands that it should implement a crack-factory for iphones. The rest of the computer industry is behind Apple. Way behind. So far behind that they are basically on the other side of the planet hoping that none of this mess will fall on them.

Over in Europe it appears that the European Union has decided that the best solution to the refugee crisis is to let all the refugees pile up in Greece. This is a good solution because over the last few years the EU basically destroyed the Greek economy and turned the entire country into a refugee camp, so the Syrian refugees will fit right in there and not bother the more well-to-do populations to the North.

Back over here President Obama has presented plan number 236 for closing the Guantanamo Torture and Kidnapping Center to a congress that would rather publicly munch on turds than pass any legislation he proposes. Ain't gonna happen. Obama could simply transfer the victims there to normal military prisons in the US and charge these people with actual crimes,but the problem with that is that if any of these people make it onto US territory they would immediately have legal standing to press civil or criminal charges against their kidnappers and torturers. So they will continue to rot in Guantanamo. Forever. President Trump isn't going to let them out either.

In the fair state of Texas it was decided that the best way for students at public universities to educate themselves is to be armed to the teeth. Universities issued guidelines to professors to avoid sensitive topics in order to not be killed while teaching. Have I mentioned that we are a terminally stupid society?

Thursday February 25 2016

The clueless and tone deaf Mitt Romney was sent out to demand that President Trump release his tax returns. Romney notoriously stalled on releasing his tax returns for almost the entire presidential campaign, and when he did release some of them it was clear he was paying a far lower tax rate than regular working people.

China responded to threatening noises from Washington that its military activity on its islands in the South China Sea were a response to an increased US military presence in the region. In the inexorable logic of hairless ape social behavior, we will respond by increasing our military presence in the region.

The republicans had a debate. Rubio and Trump got into a fist fight. Ted Cruz joined Trump, both piling on Rubio, punching and kicking him and calling him a "punk ass bitch". John Kasich threw up and Ben Carson got very excited and then had to leave the stage after a mysterious splotch appeared on the front of his pants.The oddly named moderator Wolf Blitzer, after the melee was over, asked the bloody and bruised Rubio if he thought his choice of tie incited the attack and if he wished to apologize for provoking his attackers. None of that happened, but it might as well have.

Closeted gay republican former hopeless presidential candidate Lindsey Graham actually had A Moment Of Lucidity when he publicly observed that his party had gone, and this is a direct quote "batshit crazy". That did happen.

Friday February 26 2016

Chris Christie endorsed Donald Trump for president. This is the first crack in the republican party establishment official "shun trump" policy, and brings forth the prospect of these two repulsive assholes being on the same ticket in November.

Another day another mass murder by gun. 14 people shot four dead. The shooter had just been served with a restraining order because of violent abusive behavior. As usual the reaction to this latest bit of gun insanity will be an increase in gun sales. Normal people will shudder in silent horror and politicians will shrug their shoulders and say "what can we do, our hands are tied?". Tied to what, one might ask. Tied to the bags of money sent forth by the gun lobby to assure that nothing ever will be done.

In the charming news department a unicorn was on the loose on the LA freeway and had to be captured before serious mayhem resulted. Virgins everywhere were in a swoon.

Sandra Boos -- and the California Highway Patrol -- spent more than three hours chasing her runaway pony, who was outfitted with a unicorn horn, through orchards and roads in California, but she says that isn’t even the wildest part of the story.
Boos says what stopped her in her tracks was the reaction of some bystanders.
“I heard crazy things like, ‘They are real!’ and ‘I didn’t know unicorns were real,’” Boos, of Fresno, California, told ABC News. “I would just stop running and say, ‘They’re not.Sandra Boos -- and the California Highway Patrol -- spent more than three hours chasing her runaway pony, who was outfitted with a unicorn horn, through orchards and roads in California, but she says that isn’t even the wildest part of the story.

Saturday February 27, 2016

It's the South Carolina Democratic Party primary today, and the awful Mrs. Clinton is expected to beat the crap out of Mr. Sanders. Oh well.. it seems that Democratic voters agree that we really shouldn't even try to make this country a better place for all of us. The only thing puzzling about this is why black voters like Clinton. The Clintons championed the "lock 'em up and throw away the key" legal "reforms" of the 90's that have produced the largest prison population on the planet. She supports the death penalty. She still supports the war on drugs. She supports privatizing education. The Clintons ran on abolishing welfare in 96. She opposes making public college education free. She opposes universal healthcare. WTF?

Just in case you were wondering just what a pile of suck republicans are, the state legislature of Alabama just passed a bill outlawing local cities and towns from having their own minimum wage regulations because Birmingham passed a local regulation raising the minimum wage in the city.

In other news Justice Scalia remains dead. The faithful hover around his tomb to witness his resurrection.

Sunday February 28, 2016

As expected the tediously centrist and unabashedly corrupt Mrs. Clinton kicked Mr. Sanders ass in South Carolina. Oh well. All we can do is dream.

March 1 is "!Super !Tuesday" and unfortunately Mrs. Clinton will again mostly kick the tar out of Mr. Sanders. Over on the Idiot Party side, Benito Trump is expected to win most of those races as well, setting the stage for an absurd Clinton v Trump general election.

(As an aside Gawker actually baited Mr. Trump into retweeting phrases originally uttered by 1930's Classic Fascist Dictator Benito Mussolini.)

Over in Ireland the two corrupt establishment parties, Fine Gael and Fianna Fail, each failed to get enough votes to govern, leaving the IRA's political wing Sinn Fein as the only major party that increased its vote count. Of course Sinn Fein will continue to be ostracized by the two bigs, so until they win an outright majority they will be shut out of any coalition.

The corrupt British establishment political parties are desperately trying to avoid "Brexit" - the UK voting by referendum to exit the EU's economic treaty. The get the fuck out campaign is backed by a coalition of "euroskeptics" on both the right and the left.

A memorial service was held in the Kansas town where Yet Another Gun Slaughter occurred. Flowers, more guns, and weepy prayers are now our only response to this madness.

San Francisco is evicting its homeless people from a tent city in order to make room for high tech bro worker tents. The worker tents will rent for 5000/month and will include Google and Facebook bus transportation for the bros living there.

Our War Department is unveiling the new B-21 bomber at $0.5 Billion per plane. You can bet we will be buying a lot of these planes at bargain basement prices like this! Any sense of irony involved in putting down Mr. Sanders suggestion that perhaps we ought to invest instead in free public college tuition is entirely missing from the political discourse.

5 replies, 2646 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 5 replies Author Time Post
Reply Vermin News Network Rehab Edition. (Original post)
Warren Stupidity Feb 2016 OP
Erich Bloodaxe BSN Feb 2016 #1
7wo7rees Mar 2016 #2
Warren Stupidity Mar 2016 #3
7wo7rees Mar 2016 #4
7wo7rees Mar 2016 #5

Response to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Mon Feb 29, 2016, 12:27 PM

1. Laugh.

I love it that people thought it was a 'real unicorn'.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Wed Mar 2, 2016, 11:00 AM

2. Thank you so much for this bit of sanity in this upside down world!

Don't stop!!

Again thank you.

Need an update for yesterday and today. The msn is going bat suit crazy! OMG, how do we stop Trump now?

Fuck it all.

What everyone is .missing is incredibly low voter turnout. Cruz and the Tea Party took Tx with a couple of million votes. I think I want to get drunk today!

Cheers...... I'm drinking Deep Eddy from Austin, lemon added.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to 7wo7rees (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 2, 2016, 02:25 PM

3. Stay tuned for Monday's edition.


Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to Warren Stupidity (Reply #3)

Wed Mar 2, 2016, 02:29 PM

4. Can't wait!!!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Response to Warren Stupidity (Original post)

Wed Mar 2, 2016, 02:29 PM

5. K and R

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread