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Initech

(99,909 posts)
Sun May 15, 2016, 12:56 PM May 2016

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #27: The Butler Did It (A Bird In The Hand) Edition

Last edited Sun May 15, 2016, 02:19 PM - Edit history (1)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #27: The Butler Did It (A Bird In The Hand) Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! And I open this edition with some good news! Hipsters everywhere, rejoice! Radiohead’s new album is here! Wooooooooooooo!!!! So last week we got a huge surprise over the weekend with Radiohead dropping their new album “A Moon Shaped Pool”. And you guys and gals like Radiohead? It’s pretty well documented that I love Radiohead (one of the few non metal bands that I’ve been a fan of for a very long time), I’ve seen them in concert multiple times (best show was at the Hollywood Bowl shortly after In Rainbows came out). But I was not a fan of “The King Of Limbs” and that’s pretty well documented. And if you’re wondering why this album is getting so much hype, there’s a song on it called “True Love Waits” which is one of Radiohead’s oldest tracks that has never before appeared on a studio album. And vice.com put together a great FAQ about the album that I suggest checking out if you’re interested or have the album already. However, “A Moon Shaped Pool” might be Radiohead’s best album since 2003’s “Hail To The Thief”. Radiohead isn’t known for making overly accessible music but this album definitely is one of their more interesting entries. In fact here’s the first video from it called “Burn The Witch”:



We’ve got a lot of idiocy to cover this week. But before we get into the idiocy this week, John Oliver exposed the real research behind those scientific study articles and media headlines you see every day:



In the first slot is one of the most disgusting people who’s ever been called a “human being” and that’s George Zimmerman (1). He’s auctioning off the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin and it’s getting some insane money. Or.... is it? Next up is Donald Trump (2, 3). There’s so much Trump news that it’s spilling into the second and third slots. In the second slot we’re going to talk poll numbers and talk about some of the things that are more popular than Trumpenfuror. In the third slot, we are going to take a look at Trump’s controversial plan to eliminate the minimum wage among other things people hate him for. In the number 4 slot, conservative idiot hall of famer Roy Moore (4) got his ass handed to him, and it’s only about to get much worse, and we can’t help but engage in schadenfreude with this one! At number 5 is the Bathroom Police (5). It turns out that Pat McCrory is upping the blame game in the war on North Carolina’s bathrooms, while a school district in North Carolina has an unbelievable solution to a non existent problem. Taking the sixth slot, the return of another Top 10 hall of famer and that’s the least interesting man in the world – Mitt Romney (6)! So Mittens has declared an all out war on Donald Trump’s tax returns. Could he be the catalyst for the brokered convention? In the number 7 slot is Sarah Palin (7) who is pulling out all the stops in her quest to be Donald Trump’s VP. At the number 8 slot, we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s butler Anthony Senecal (8). In the number 9 slot is Phil Robertson, yes of the Duck Dynasty Robertson clan. He has a “radical” idea about bathrooms, and if you guessed it’s not that radical you are correct. Finally this week we’re going to talk about one of my favorite subjects – beer. No matter what time of day it is, there’s absolutely nothing that beats a tall frosty one. But more specifically there’s one headline in the beer world that’s grabbing attention and that’s Budweiser (10) is changing it’s name to “America”. Because, America. Yeah we’ll go in depth on this one. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


[font size="8"]George Zimmerman[/font]


So we can all agree that overrated hall monitor George Zimmerman is one of the most disgusting human beings on the planet right? Well thanks to batshit insane gun nuts he’s about to get filthy rich if this auction goes according to plan. First off the NY Daily News nails it once again:



So George Zimmerman. America’s favorite teenage murdering hall monitor psychopath, has been trying to auction off the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin. Yes, he is trying to auction the gun he used to murder Trayvon Martin. I can’t say that enough ladies and gentlemen. Let’s start with the NY Daily News Article:
FOR SALE: One 9-mm pistol — and whatever’s left of George Zimmerman’s bankrupt soul.
The Florida neighborhood watchman who fatally shot unarmed teen Trayvon Martin in 2012 is putting the killer handgun up for auction — and hoping to fetch at least $5,000.
“I am honored and humbled to announce the sale of an American Firearm Icon,” Zimmerman wrote in his online description of the weapon. The perverted auction opens for bids at 11 a.m. Thursday.
“The firearm for sale is the firearm that was used to defend my life and end the brutal attack from Trayvon Martin on 2/26/2012 ... Many have expressed interest in owning and displaying the firearm including The Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. This is a piece of American History,” Zimmerman wrote, a claim that was later refuted by the museum.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/george-zimmerman-auction-gun-killed-trayvon-martin-article-1.2634153

What a colossal douchebag!! First he’s championing himself on the pity card when we all know that he’s had a history of violence from the law since the trial and that Trayvon pleaded for his life before he was shot. So that part is bullshit. And selling this as an “American History Icon”? How delusional is that? OMG!!!! So he had a starting bid of $5,000 (US):

George Zimmerman has listed the gun with which he killed Trayvon Martin in 2012 for auction, touting it as “your opportunity to own a piece of American history”.
The former neighborhood watch volunteer was acquitted two years ago in the death of the young unarmed African American ...

Zimmerman listed “the firearm that was used to defend my life and end the brutal attack from Trayvon Martin” ...
<snip>
The gun, a Kel-Tec PF-9 9mm, was billed as a “collectible firearm” and had a starting price of US$5,000.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/may/12/george-zimmerman-trayvon-martin-gun-auction


Delusional!! Wow. Just…. The mere fact that he’s trying to market it as “owning a piece of American history” is about as stunningly ignorant as it gets. He’s just pandering to the gun nuts at this point. But here’s where the auction site that Zimmerman put the auction up, well, took it down:

GunBroker.com, the website that was going allow George Zimmerman to sell the weapon used to kill unarmed black teen Trayvon Martin, has cancelled the auction, News6 reports. Bidding was set to begin on Thursday morning.

A link to the auction where buyers could purchase the gun is now disabled.
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/busted-gun-broker-cancels-sale-of-george-zimmermans-gun-used-to-kill-trayvon-martin/




But oh wait – the auction site allowed it to proceed and now if these numbers are to be believed he could net something like $65 million from this sale. And here’s where I love the internet, you may cringe hard at the fact that the gun used to murder Trayvon Martin reached astronomical levels. While the gun may be going for $65 million currently, they are not coming from legitimate accounts. What you mean “Racist McShootface” and “Weedlord Bonerhitler” aren’t legitimate accounts? I’m shocked I tell you!

MIAMI — Bidding in an online auction for the pistol former neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman used to kill Trayvon Martin appeared to have been hijacked by fake accounts posting astronomically high bids.

At one point early Friday, the bidding surpassed $65 million with the leading bidder using the screen name "Racist McShootFace." The site later showed that account had been deleted.

Other screen names of bidders on the site included "Donald Trump," ''shaniqua bonifa" and "Tamir Rice," the name of a black 12-year-old who was shot and killed by Cleveland police in 2014 while playing with a pellet gun.

The website for United Gun Group began hosting the auction Thursday after another website, GunBroker.com, took down the auction saying it wanted "no part in the listing on our website or in any of the publicity it is receiving."

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/auction-for-gun-that-killed-trayvon-martin-possibly-hijacked/ar-BBt0sIN?li=BBnb7Kz

#Weedlord Bonerhitler

But there is some good news – according to the Orlando Sentinel, the second auction could be taken down as early as this week:

George Zimmerman's first attempt to auction off the 9mm pistol he used to kill Trayvon Martin in 2012 sparked heated debate and was over before it ever began.
So he tried again. And controversy continued.
Now for a second time in about 24 hours, his posting to auction the Kel-Tec PF-9 pistol used to kill Martin could be taken down.
Zimmerman, a former Sanford Neighborhood Watch volunteer, told Orlando Sentinel news partner WOFL-Channel 35 that he just got the gun back from the U.S. Department of Justice.
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/trayvon-martin-george-zimmerman/os-george-zimmerman-gun-auction-20160512-story.html


And in case you were wondering, you know where the money that Zimmerman was going to make from this auction was going to go to? Well here’s what he planned to spend the money on:

In the listing, Zimmerman says a portion of the proceeds would go toward fighting alleged violence against law enforcement by the Black Lives Matter movement and to stop anti-firearm rhetoric made by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
The proceeds will also help pay for efforts to end the career of Angela Corey, who led the prosecution against Zimmerman, according to the post.


So not only is Zimmerman a colossal dick, he plans to use this money for colossal dick purposes like fighting anti-firearm propaganda and ending the career of the woman who led the prosecution against him. Wow, could you be any more of a huge douchebag?? I don’t think so! Couldn't he just not be a dick for one minute?




[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]


So while Donald Trump has emerged as the front runner in the GOP primaries. And now that the dust has settled my friends, he is also emerging as this week’s king idiot. Because, well in the words of Radiohead, he is the bony king of nowhere. Whatever that means. But… ladies and gentlemen, as we now know, Donald Trump has a plan to make us all winners! Because there will be no stupid losers on his watch! But if Donald Trump wants to be the third world dictator of the free world, let’s talk some poll numbers shall we? In one issue a while back I said that Trump would need to capture 3 key demos in order to become president, and we all know how low one particular group is polling as I pointed out last week with Trump’s bizarre Cinco De Mayo celebration. But Donald Trump isn’t even polling well within his own party! I give you exhibit A:

Donald Trump became the presumptive Republican presidential nominee this week, but a majority of GOP insiders aren't ready to commit to voting for him in November.
That’s according to The POLITICO Caucus – a panel of operatives, activists and strategists in 10 Electoral College battleground states. Fewer than four-in-10 GOP insiders said they would vote for Trump in the general election, while a quarter said they would not. The remaining 35 percent said they weren’t sure.
The objections of anti-Trump Republicans ranged from criticisms of Trump’s vulgar language and crude behavior, to concerns about Trump’s control of the U.S. nuclear arms stockpile.
But a number of Republican insiders – both those who said they’d vote for Trump and some of those who were unsure – said they felt compelled to oppose Hillary Clinton, the likely Democratic nominee.
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/05/majority-of-gop-insiders-wont-commit-to-trump-222866


Holy shit!!! 40%! I’m surprised it’s that low! That means that 4 in 10 of registered REPUBLICANS – not democrats – REPUBLICANS – would vote for Trumpenfuror in the general election. But the other key demos he needs to capture are women and African American voters. I give you exhibit B:

In a hypothetical November match-up between Trump and Clinton, among registered women voters, Clinton leads Trump 58 - 31 percent, according to a *CBS News national poll this month. In comparison, 42 percent of men would cast their ballots for Clinton versus 50 percent that would support Trump.
While he has won more support among GOP women compared to other Republicans, a high percentage of women voters nationwide hold negative views of Donald Trump -- 69 percent have an unfavorable view of him, according to a CBS News national poll this month. Just 19 percent have a favorable view of him
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/is-donald-trump-right-that-women-voters-dont-like-hillary-clinton/


Wow, that’s pretty damn low!



Do we go for the trifecta? How low is he polling with African American voters?

In boasting of his support among African American voters, Donald Trump made some false and misleading statements:
• Trump claimed “African American youth is 58 percent unemployed.” The official unemployment rate for blacks ages 16 to 19 in January was 25.2 percent.
• Trump said a “recent poll” showed 25 percent of blacks support him in a hypothetical race against Hillary Clinton. That “recent poll” is actually from September. Six recent polls, all taken in February, show his support ranges from 4 percent to 12 percent.




Now just to go for the Superfecta – how low is he polling among young voters?

(CNN)A new poll suggests that a race for president between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton could yield the lowest support for a Republican candidate among young voters in decades.
The survey, conducted by the Harvard University Institute of Politics, finds that in a hypothetical matchup, 61% of likely voters age 18-29 say they would vote for Clinton, while just 25% would vote for Trump. That's worse than most other recent Republican candidates for president.
Since 1992, exit polls have found Republican candidates average 38% support among voters under 30. Sen. John McCain notched 32% against Barack Obama in 2008, marking the low-point for GOP candidates dating back to 1972, when modern exit polling began. Ronald Reagan was the only Republican candidate to win the under-30 vote since then.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/04/25/politics/donald-trump-young-voters/




But this is my favorite poll ever. When someone has a poll number that’s this low, they tend to fuck with it. And when numbers for a certified candidate are that low, people instead of asking of things they don’t approve of, start asking more about things they do approve of. And one poll came up with this:




Hemorrhoids…………………………………………………. Trump, 45/39 (+6)
Cockroaches………………………………………………………. Trump, 46/42 (+4)
Nickelback………………………………………….…………... Nickelback, 39/34 (-5)
Used Car Salesmen…………………………….…………….. Used Car Salesmen, 47/41 (-6)
Traffic Jams…………………………………….……………….. Traffic Jams, 47/40 (-7)
Hipsters……………………………………..………………… Hipsters, 45/38 (-7)
DMV………………………………………………………… DMV, 50/40 (-10)
Root Canals……………………………….………………….. Root Canals, 49/38 (-11)
Jury Duty…………………………………………………….. Jury Duty, 57/35 (-22)
Lice…………………………………….…………………… Lice, 54/28 (-26)
http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/main/2016/05/gop-quickly-unifies-around-trump-clinton-still-has-modest-lead.html


That’s right! Head lice, Nickelback, traffic jams, hipsters, used car salesman and the DMV all have higher polling numbers than Trumpenfuror! He is somehow surprisingly more popular than cockroaches and hemorrhoids.






[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]


So now that we’ve shown you how Donald Trump is the real stupid loser in this whole mess of an election, how does the man plan to make us all winners? Well in order to figure out his motif, let’s get into his mindset. “Everyone but me is a stupid loser!!! Nobody is as smart, capabale or a better real estate broker than I am, I make the best decisions and use the best words, and nobody has a bigger penis than I do!”. OK… we are officially in character. With that out of the way, how does he plan to make us all winners? Why taking away the minimum wage for starters!

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/may/08/federal-minimum-wage-trump
Donald Trump has called for the elimination of the federal minimum wage, as he retreated from primary promises and once again refused to release his tax returns because of “a link” to an audit.

The presumptive Republican nominee for president repeatedly said he would support a higher minimum wage, a reversal from his position when he had conservative opponents. But he insisted on Sunday that states should decide such wages.

“I like the idea of ‘let the states decide’,” Trump told NBC’s Meet the Press. “But I think people should get more. I think they’re out there. They’re working. It is a very low number.”

Asked “should the federal government set a floor” – a national minimum wage – Trump replied: “No, I’d rather have the states go out and do what they have to do.

“And the states compete with each other, not only other countries, but they compete with each other.”




This comes at a time when there’s more calls than ever for every worker in America to be able to make a sustainable, living wage. Like this. Before I post this article, go back and read the last entry about Trump’s polling numbers among youth voters and this should in no way shock you. But what else is Trumpenfuror doing to piss people off? Why let’s consult the SPLC about their view on the Trump effect on kids:

Every four years, teachers in the United States use the presidential election to impart valuable lessons to students about the electoral process, democracy, government and the responsibilities of citizenship.

But, for students and teachers alike, this year’s primary season is starkly different from any in recent memory. The results of an online survey conducted by Teaching Tolerance suggest that the campaign is having a profoundly negative effect on children and classrooms.

It’s producing an alarming level of fear and anxiety among children of color and inflaming racial and ethnic tensions in the classroom. Many students worry about being deported.

Other students have been emboldened by the divisive, often juvenile rhetoric in the campaign. Teachers have noted an increase in bullying, harassment and intimidation of students whose races, religions or nationalities have been the verbal targets of candidates on the campaign trail.

https://www.splcenter.org/20160413/trump-effect-impact-presidential-campaign-our-nations-schools


That’s right! Donald Trump has led to an increase in bullying, harassment, and intimidation of violence against those who Trump has targeted! What a shock! By the way in case you’re like me and thinking about fleeing the US if Trumpenfuror somehow becomes the 45th president of these United States of ours, there’s a new dating company that is matching Canadian citizens with Trump refugees (which I’m surprised he hasn’t branded and trademarked that name yet ):

TORONTO: A dating website is pledging to match Americans who can't live with a Donald Trump presidency to Canadians looking for love, facilitating the pledge often made by U.S. voters to move to Canada if the real estate billionaire is elected.

"Maple Match makes it easy for Americans to find the ideal Canadian partner to save them from the unfathomable horror of a Trump presidency," the Maple Match website reads, before offering a waiting list for interested singles.

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/lifestyle/dating-site-matches-ameri/2774090.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter


Kind of makes me wish I had thought of a business like that during the Bush administration, I would be raking in the dough now! Especially if Trumpenfuror plans to overturn Roe V Wade and eliminate the minimum wage like he’s been threatening. Wait – what the what???? He would eliminate Roe V. Wade? Back up! Beep! Beep!

Donald Trump on Tuesday began to outline his vision for a Supreme Court nominee, saying he wants someone who is an abortion rights opponent. "Trump says he's pro-life. Please ask him to name one specific thing he would do to protect the sanctity of human life — can you?” Fox News host Bill O’Reilly asked (via a viewer question) the presumptive GOP nominee on The O'Reilly Factor, which aired Tuesday night.

“I will protect it. And the biggest way you can protect it is through the Supreme Court and putting people on the court. I mean actually the biggest way you can protect it, I guess, is by electing me president,” Trump said.

“So you’re going to get a judge who would overthrow, overturn Roe v. Wade that’s the specific thing you’re going to do?” O’Reilly asked.

“Well overturn or overturn, look I’m going to put conservative judges on,” Trump said.

Read more: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2016/05/11/trump-scotus-nominee-overturn-roe-v-wade/84223512/




But hey Donald, if you’re going to make threats like this and ruin our basic way of life that we’ve been building the last 200 years, we want to see your tax returns!

In a reversal, Donald Trump has told The Associated Press that he won’t release his tax returns until after the election in November.

"There's nothing to learn from them," Trump told The AP in an interview Tuesday, citing an ongoing audit of his finances as the main reason for withholding the information. He has also said he doesn't believe voters are interested.

Just on Sunday, the presumptive Republican nominee told NBC’s “Meet the Press” that he’d be willing to release them should the audit be finished in time.

When asked if he would pledge to release them before the election, Trump responded, "Sure, if -- if -- if the auditors finish. I'll do it as fast as the audit is finished. Remember this, I've already given my financials. And my financials show I'm worth more than $10 billion by any stretch of the imagination.”

Read more: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trump-release-tax-returns-election/story?id=39039525





[font size="8"]Roy Moore [/font]


So a Top 10 hall of famer – Roy Moore – got his ass handed to him last week. It turns not only didn’t he get shit canned, it turns out things are about to get much, much worse for the intensely homophobic justice. But first off – we have to talk about his incessant whining. Turns out that Mr. Moore is getting the shit sued out of him, and in some really bad ways too. And that’s someone who, a guy who has consistently made life miserable for America’s LGBT community, deserves every bit of shit thrown at him. So here’s what he’s been whining about lately:

http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/roy_moore
On Wednesday Liberty Counsel founder and CEO Mat Staver stood before the cameras and droned on in support of his client, Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore. Moore is under attack by the Southern Poverty Law Center and others for his actions surrounding the Supreme Court's marriage decision and his instructions to Alabama magistrates to not issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The SPLC filed a complaint....

Staver referred to one of the people who filed the complaint against Moore as an "admitted transvestite."

Moore slammed his critics as "atheists, homosexuals and transgender individuals." At one point he referred to a trans woman as "her," but "corrected" himself, calling her, "him."

At another point, Moore said “transsexualism is a known mental illness,” or was, until 2013, and suggested it still should be classified as such.




Well. What’s blathering about is this:

An Alabama judicial oversight body on Friday filed a formal complaint against Roy S. Moore, the chief justice of the state’s Supreme Court, charging that he had “flagrantly disregarded and abused his authority” in ordering the state’s probate judges to refuse applications for marriage licenses by same-sex couples.

As a result of the charges, Chief Justice Moore, 69, has been immediately suspended from the bench and is facing a potential hearing before the state’s Court of the Judiciary, a panel of judges, lawyers and other appointees. Among possible outcomes at such a hearing would be his removal from office.

“We intend to fight this agenda vigorously and expect to prevail,” Chief Justice Moore said in a statement, saying that the Judicial Inquiry Commission, which filed the complaint, had no authority over the charges at issue.

Referring to a transgender activist in Alabama, Chief Justice Moore said the commission had “chosen to listen to people like Ambrosia Starling, a professed transvestite, and other gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals, as well as organizations which support their agenda.”

Read more: http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/07/us/judge-roy-moore-alabama-same-sex-marriage.html


But who is Ambrosia Starling? Well let’s pool our collective resources together and find out, shall we?

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (AP) — Wearing big hair, loads of makeup and high heels, small-town drag queen Ambrosia Starling is the new worst nightmare of suspended Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore.

Moore has called out Starling twice by name in recent days while defending himself against allegations of violating judicial canons with his opposition to same-sex marriage. During a news conference and in a written statement, Moore cited the cross-dressing entertainer as a reason he's at risk of losing his job for the second time since 2003.

Read more: http://www.chron.com/news/us/article/Alabama-drag-queen-is-suspended-chief-justice-s-7444496.php


Holy shit!!! That’s the second time Roy Moore called out Ambrosia… and she is fighting back with all fours. And hey, if it takes a drag queen to take out one of the most ultra conservative, homophobic bigots off the bench, I’m all for it!


[font size="8"]The Bathroom Police[/font]


First off, I have to give props to the Wedge Brewing Company of Asheville, North Carolina who printed this on their beer cans in response to HB-2:



But you know that Obama himself addressed the issue this week and called on all school districts to be accommodating to trans students? Which resulted in douchebag fundie talk show host Tony Perkins calling for Obama's impeachment:

http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/tony_perkins_calls_for_obama_s_impeachment_over_transgender_directive_for_the_safety_of_children
Tony Perkins is calling for President Barack Obama be impeached. The Family Research Council president made his demands Friday speaking with Fox News religion reporter Todd Starnes about the administration's new directive to protect transgender students in public schools, as Right Wing Watch reports.

Starnes writes that "Perkins said the decree should be 'resisted with ever legal and moral instrument we have available to us in this country.'"

“If the president chooses to go forward with this outrageous order – then congress should begin impeachment proceedings,” Starnes says Perkins told him. “Every parent, every school board in America should absolutely refuse to sacrifice the safety of their children for the threat of taking away nine federal pennies that make up every educational dollar.”...


Is it any wonder why I absolutely despise these people and their hatred and bigotry? Does that make me intolerant of their intolerance? The sooner this issue goes away the better. But only if good triumphs over evil, and the Bathroom Police are becoming more and more evil by the day! And just look at what one North Carolina school district announced would happen at their schools!

A North Carolina school system has adopted a policy allowing high school students to carry pepper spray this fall, a policy one board member said may be useful for students who encounter transgender classmates in the bathroom.

The Salisbury Post reports (http://bit.ly/1TzmUGY) the policy was adopted by the Rowan-Salisbury Board of Education during a work session on Monday.

Board member Chuck Hughes said using the sprays was purely defensive, and he referenced the North Carolina law that limits LGBT rights, saying such sprays could help female students if they go to the bathroom and don't know who's coming in after them.

Read more here: http://www.newsobserver.com/news/nation-world/national/article76827092.html#storylink=cpy


Holy fucking shit!!! And I don’t mean the kind of pepper spray that you put on your Taco Bell Grilled Stuft XXL Burrito. I mean the kind of pepper spray that can burn somebody’s fucking eyes out of their skull. But in other stranger news regarding the bathroom police, both the state of North Carolina and the DOJ have filed dueling lawsuits over HB-2:

North Carolina and the Justice Department announced dueling lawsuits Monday over the state’s “bathroom bill,” which has become the epicenter of a larger fight over transgender rights.
The two complaints, filed several hours apart, took opposing sides in the debate over the law, which bans transgender people from using bathrooms that don’t match the gender on their birth certificates. While the state said its law does not discriminate against transgender people or treat transgender employees differently from non-transgender employees, the Justice Department’s civil rights office said the measure is discriminatory and violates civil rights.
“This action is about a great deal more than just bathrooms,” Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch said during a news conference after the Justice Department’s lawsuit was filed. “This is about the dignity and respect we accord our fellow citizens and the laws that we, as a people and as a country, have enacted to protect them.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/05/09/north-carolina-justice-dept-face-monday-deadline-for-bathroom-bill/


But here’s where Pat McCrory fails to understand the logic behind HB-2 and compares it to the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which this is a direct violation of:

North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory (R) asserted on Wednesday that the U.S. Congress should review the entire 1964 Civil Rights Act because he did not like the way the Department of Justice was using it to protect transgender bathroom rights.

Speaking to CNN host Jake Tapper on Wednesday, McCrory accused Democrats of starting a fight over transgender bathroom rights by passing an ordinance in the City of Charlotte that allowed transgender people to visit public restrooms that correspond to their gender identity.

“I think that this was an argument that we didn’t need to have,” McCrory opined. “But this is an agenda by the far left. And for some reason, the national media is saying the far right brought this up. I had no interest in this subject.”

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/pat-mccrory-congress-should-revisit-the-1964-civil-rights-act-to-allow-segregated-bathrooms/


OMG!! Wow, one thing I got to give McCrory credit for – he has some fucking balls to say shit like that! But still… “This was an argument we didn’t need to have” – boo fucking hoo! You’re the one who started it asshole!! You could have avoided this whole thing and tossed the bill out but you are a blithering jackass who pandered to batshit insane Christian fundies in order to get votes! Just… argh! Shut the fuck up! Stop talking! When you’re in a hole, Pat, stop digging!




[font size="8"]Mitt Romney[/font]


So in a case of the pot calling the kettle black, Mitt Romney has pulled out all the stops in his effort to get Donald Trump to spill the beans on his tax returns. What is Trump hiding, you may ask? And I answer you good sir / madam with the answer – we don’t know! But Mitt Romney is determined to find out! In fact he’s saying that Trump should be disqualified – disqualified if he doesn’t release his tax returns!

Mitt Romney has a message for Donald Trump, from one failed Republican presidential nominee to another (soon-to-be): Release your tax returns, buddy.
In a Facebook post on Wednesday, reacting to the news that unlike generations of both Republican and Democratic presidential nominees before him, this year’s Republican presidential nominee would not release any tax returns before the general election, Romney called Trump’s announcement “disqualifying.”
“There’s nothing to learn from them,” the businessman who claims to be worth more than $10 billion said of his tax returns in an interview with Associated Press this week, citing an audit of tax returns from some years as the reason why he won’t be releasing any tax returns from previous years.
http://www.salon.com/2016/05/12/mitt_romney_trump_refusing_to_release_tax_returns_to_hide_possible_mob_ties/


And of course Trumpenfuror would fire back with his best Jedi mind trick!



But what is Trump hiding? That is the question on the table! But here’s where Donald Trump’s tax returns are best explained in very simple terms that even a non auditor can understand!

Washington (CNN)Donald Trump insists he won't release his tax returns during his 2016 presidential run because those returns are the subject of ongoing Internal Revenue Service audits.
When he's had casinos on the line, it's been a different story.
Trump has handed over tax returns in the midst of audits before -- to state gambling officials in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, as part of the process of seeking casino licenses in those states.
The returns haven't been publicly accessible, but they were used by the state investigators who reviewed those applications.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/11/politics/donald-trump-casino-licenses-tax-returns/index.html


Yes!!!! Woooooooooooo!! That will shut them up! So it’s perfectly OK for Trumpenfuror to release the tax returns on his casino properties but not his presidential campaign? Well maybe Mitt Romney might actually be on to something!

And while on the subject of Donald Trump’s tax returns, Lou Dobbs was on the O’Reilly Factor and tried to justify Trumpenfuror’s lack of tax returns by comparing him to Jesus. Let’s roll tape!




Dobbs pushed logic aside and said, “After the first billion, I lose interest.” He also failed to answer O’Reilly when he asked if there was anything that Dobbs hadn’t liked about Trump’s campaign. Dobbs refused to give him a straight answer, “because you’d be just like the rest of those guys in the national media, you just focus on it.”
O’Reilly pushed back and said, “I’m asking you as an analyst. You are not willing to say one thing.” When Dobbs continued to dance around the question, O’Reilly yelled:
“If he is Jesus, how can you analyze him?”
Dobbs said, “How can I analyze him? Because I have a superior mind that competes at least fairly favorably with your own.”
O’Reilly giggled and replied with something truly idiotic:
“Okay. Let’s just recap. According to Dobbs, Donald Trump is Jesus. And Jesus never put out his tax returns! Ever!”
Dobbs completely threw all intelligence out the window when he said, “That’s a line that I can actually agree with.”
http://addictinginfo.org/2016/05/12/bill-oreilly-pathetically-defends-trump-jesus-never-put-out-his-tax-returns-video/







[font size="8"]Sarah Palin [/font]


So in what seems like it’s a play straight out of an elementary school kids’ handbook, Sarah Palin very badly wants to be Donald Trump’s vice presidential pick. So much that she was screaming “pick me! Pick me!!!”.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) on Sunday said that she is ready to serve as Donald Trump’s vice presidential running mate, but she worried about being a “burden” to the presumptive nominee.

“I think I’m pretty much as vetted as anybody in the country could be vetted,” Palin told CNN’s Jake Tapper. “I think there are so many other great people out there in American that could serve in this position.”

“I think if somebody wanted to choose me, they already know who I am, what I stand for,” she added. “They wouldn’t be in for any surprises.”

But Palin acknowledged that she also came with baggage.

Read more: http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/choose-me-sarah-palin-says-shes-as-vetted-as-anybody-in-the-country-for-trumps-vp/comments/#disqus


But in that same PR, Palin also said that it would come with some baggage. I don’t know like word salad speeches and her chugging 7-11 big gulps?


I want to help and not hurt” the former Alaska governor said on CNN’s “State of the Union” on Sunday. “And I am such a realist that I realize there are a whole lot of people out there who would say, ‘Anybody but Palin.’ I wouldn’t want to be a burden on the ticket, and I realize in many, many eyes, I would be that burden.”
“I just want the guy to win. I want America to win,” Palin, who endorsed Trump in January, continued. “And I don’t know if I would be the person that would be able to help him win.”
But Palin, who burst onto the American political and pop culture scene as McCain’s running mate, said if Trump did put her on his shortlist for VP, she wouldn’t need much vetting.
https://www.yahoo.com/style/sarah-palin-trump-mccain-paul-ryan-vp-145235725.html

“Yeah we’re not going to hurt anybody because we want to take America back!!!”. Who are you taking it back from? What are you taking it back to?
#PalinBigGulp




[font size="8"]Anthony Senecal [/font]


Who is Anthony Senecal? Why he’s Donald Trump’s former Butler. And in case you were wondering, this edition’s title this week is of course that from an episode from the Leslie Nielsen TV comedy “Police Squad” that inspired one of my favorite movies of all time – “The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!”. But before we get into the entry on Donald Trump’s butler and why he’s just as much of a raging psychopath as Donald Trump is, some actual psychologists and psychiatrists weighed in on Donald Trump’s mental condition:

https://www.sott.net/article/315060-Psychologists-explain-Trump-Hes-literally-a-narcissistic-psychopath
The Mayo Clinic explains "Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism." They add that "a narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life." The sufferer "may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you're not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve."

Clinical psychologist George Simon said that Trump is "so classic that I'm archiving video clips of him to use in workshops because there's no better example of his characteristics." He conducts lectures and seminars on manipulative behavior exhibited by narcissists, psychopaths and sociopaths - all related Anti Social Personality Disorders. "Otherwise, I would have had to hire actors and write vignettes. He's like a dream come true."...

Carol Caldwell notes, in D.J. Trump, Psychopath, that "it's been attested to by psychologists and neurobiologists who study psycho- and sociopaths that the deadly syndrome can be seen in their eyes."

She observes that "the eyes are described as affectless, what we would call cold, or eerily blank in one-on-one or televised exchanges. The sociopath is described as charming, out-going, intelligent, cunning, winning without warmth, but adaptable to whatever human kindness you telegraph to them. As we well know, many of them ascend to top positions in major industries, I might mention Wall Street and banking, heads of Hollywood studios, and members of Congress. On the street levels of everyday life, they work their wiles into all kinds of jobs, by falsifying resumes to fit the careers they are after. One area of human endeavor they seem less adaptable to is refined senses of humor."


Yes Donald Trump is literally a narcissistic psychopath ladies and gentlemen! If you remember past Idiots editions, I called it back in Idiots #12, and I don’t have a medical degree of any kind! This is one of those things that’s so painfully obvious that you don’t need to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist to figure out! So getting back to Trump’s butler, he is just as much of a creep as Trump is, and here’s some choice quotes of his:

When he read news that a Belgian newspaper was in hot water for portraying Barack and Michelle Obama as apes, he asked “with who are they in trouble with,” and said “I think the newspaper deserves a Pulitzer Prize !!!!!!” for the racist imagery.
Late last year, he was furious that Obama was “castrating our Military !!!!!!!” and that it was “time for our Military to drag that fraud out of the white mosque and hang his ass for treason and other high crimes against AMERICA !!!!!!! Trial to follow !!!!!!!”
Trump’s butler is also not a fan of the 2016 Democratic presidential frontrunner.
“This shows killery clinton to be a LYING DECEIVING C**T !!!!!!! I would NEVER cast my ballot for this BITCH in any election !!!!!!” he commented on Sept. 14.
“killery started life as a conniving bitch and I'm happy to report she is still a bit of a slut at it !!!!!!!!” he wrote on June 27.

In August 2015, when a state of emergency was declared in Ferguson, Missouri, Senecal said it was finally “time to remove Ferguson from Missouri---move the sane people out during the day and carpet bomb the city from the face of the Earth at night---if you blow up the protestors, oh well !!!! Case closed !!!!!”

In June 2015, he posted a photo of a Confederate flag—10 days after the Charleston church shooting, and a week after Dylann Roof’s Confederate fetish was reported. Later that month, he posted an image of a black man holding up a Confederate flag and railed against the “the liberal negroes !!!!!”
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/05/12/trump-s-butler-hates-negroes-wanted-to-carpet-bomb-ferguson-called-killery-clinton-a-c-t.html


Holy shit!!!! He’s Donald Trump’s racist uncle!



#TheButlerDidIt #ABirdInTheHand

He’s that one relative who you sit next to at Thanksgiving dinner who spouts off his unfiltered Fox News talking points that no one wants to hear. But in case you were wondering, he did inflate Donald Trump’s ego by calling him “king” (of what, we’re still unclear about) :

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/16/us/politics/donald-trump-butler-mar-a-lago.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=b-lede-package-region®ion=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0
snip:
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Everything seemed to sparkle at the Mar-a-Lago estate here on a recent afternoon. The sun glinted off the pool and the black Secret Service S.U.V.s in the circular driveway. Palm trees rustled in a warm breeze, croquet balls clicked and a security guard stood at the entrance to Donald J. Trump’s private living quarters

“You can always tell when the king is here,” Mr. Trump’s longtime butler here, Anthony Senecal, said of the master of the house and Republican presidential candidate.


Heil King Trump! He’s the king of……………. Something. Who knows? Maybe he’s the “Bony King Of Nowhere” that Radiohead refers to in their song “There There”. But in case you were wondering why yes the Secret Service is actively investigating his threat made against Obama:

The U.S. Secret Service is investigating presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump’s former butler over a Facebook post calling for President Barack Obama’s assassination.
The former butler, Anthony Senecal, 74, said in a Facebook post Obama should be hanged for treason. He made the statement in 2015, and the magazine Mother Jones wrote on Thursday about the post and other similar remarks by Senecal. Senecal worked for decades as a butler at Trump’s Palm Beach mansion, Mar-a-Lago.
http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/secret-service-investigating-trumps-butler-for-urging-assassination-of-obama/



[font size="8"]Phil Robertson[/font]


We’ve been going into great detail about North Carolina’s HB-2 and the madness surrounding it very extensively in the last month or so. But there’s one guy out there who thinks that he might have a solution to end all the madness! I give you Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson. Yes that same backwoods, bearded, gay hating sociopath who somehow thinks he’s a “man of God”. Well he has an idea that could solve everything! I mean just… this could end it folks!! And especially considering how great of a political track record they have!



Phil Robertson has "got a radical idea" on how to deal with the controversial transgender bathroom bill in North Carolina.

"Men should use the men's bathroom and women should use the women's bathroom," Robertson reportedly recently wrote. "Just because a man may 'feel' like a woman doesn't mean he should be able to share a bathroom with my daughter, or yours. That used to be called common sense. Now it's called bigoted."

According to The Hollywood Reporter, the conservative patriarch of A & E's "Duck Dynasty" franchise sent an email to conservatives this past weekend in conjunction with Citizens United, the organization behind the anti-Hillary Clinton documentary "Hillary: The Movie."

Robertson's email reportedly does not mention North Carolina specifically, but is seeking to raise funds for a "Speak Freely" campaign the reality star feels is needed.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/10/entertainment/phil-robertson-duck-dynasty-transgender/index.html


Wow………………….. he put a lot of thought into that didn’t he?

This guy is seriously fucked up. I don’t know how we here at the Top 10 missed this but as long as we’re still talking about this asshole, we must report this. So extremely far right batshit crazy conspiracy theory end times pastor Rick Wiles aired this speech in which he jokes (once again, republican humor… ) about a Christian breaking into a atheists home and cutting off his penis while murdering and raping his wife and kids. Wow, to even go there…

On Friday, “Trunews” host Rick Wiles aired a speech that Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty delivered at the Vero Beach Prayer Breakfast earlier that day, in which Robertson offered gruesome details about how an atheist father would react to watching intruders behead his wife and rape and kill his two daughters while they also cut off his penis .... which would supposedly somehow prove a point about following God’s laws.

“I’ll make a bet with you,” Robertson said. “Two guys break into an atheist’s home. He has a little atheist wife and two little atheist daughters. Two guys break into his home and tie him up in a chair and gag him. And then they take his two daughters in front of him and rape both of them and then shoot them and they take his wife and then decapitate her head off in front of him. And then they can look at him and say, ‘Isn’t it great that I don’t have to worry about being judged? Isn’t it great that there’s nothing wrong with this? There’s no right or wrong, now is it dude?’”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/phil-robertson-hypothesizes-about-atheist-family-getting-raped-and-killed


Yeah like these psychos are going to convert anybody to their religion. If I were interested in converting and heard that shit, I would go as far away from those people as much as humanly possible. Oh ha ha ha ha ha… never mind the atheist family getting raped, tortured and murdered. I mean this is just a hypothetical fantasy right?

But there's more:

Robertson kept going: “Then you take a sharp knife and take his manhood and hold it in front of him and say, ‘Wouldn’t it be something if this [sic] was something wrong with this? But you’re the one who says there is no God, there’s no right, there’s no wrong, so we’re just having fun. We’re sick in the head, have a nice day.’”

“If it happened to them,” Robertson continued, “they probably would say, ‘something about this just ain’t right.”
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/phil-robertson-hypothesizes-about-atheist-family-getting-raped-and-killed#sthash.LF9E15Mi.dpuf


Gee.............. ya think? I'm sick and repulsed just hearing this! Excuse me a minute...



But here’s where things get even scarier – Robertson goes full Hitler, and you never go full Hitler:

During a prayer rally speech last Friday in which he opined about an atheist family getting raped and murdered, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson employed remarks similar to the speech he delivered at CPAC earlier this year about how Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, the Japanese Emperor in World War II and ISIS terrorists were all capable of killing scores of people because they didn’t believe in Jesus.

But in his Friday remarks, he added one more group to this list of violent, Satanic evildoers: liberals.

In fact, Robertson said that demon-possessed liberals in America have killed more than Stalin and Hitler, and he even found time to suggest that President Obama is among the liberals championing Satan’s lies in the U.S.:

"Liberalism is a disease of the mind that weakens and corrupts human beings." Adolf Hitler, 1939
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/phil-robertson-liberals-worse-nazis-led-satan







[font size="8"]America: The Beer[/font]




Budweiser. That yellow-ish liquid that somehow calls itself “beer” that is so shitty that the Germans refused to sell it when they hosted the World Cup back in 2006. When the Germans don’t want it, you know it’s bad. And it’s the official beer of the World Cup.



And yes this is a thing. But sadly we here in the US can’t stop buying Budwesier. It is still one of the highest selling beers in all of America. But now Anheuser-Busch, which is actually owned by Belgian-Brazilian conglomerate In Bev, wants to *BE* America, literally. Specifically this happened:

Update: A-B InBev on Tuesday, May 10, confirmed the limited-edition label change, saying "America" would replace "Budweiser" on the front of 12-oz. cans and bottles. The packaging will run from May 23 through election season in November, the brewer stated. The agency that handled the design change is Jones Knowles Ritchie, New York. The packaging will be accompanied by a summer-long campaign called "America is in Your Hands." A national TV spot featuring the cans and bottles will premiere on June 1.

Budweiser, which has dressed bottles in stars and stripes in previous summers, could be poised to make one of its biggest patriotic plays yet. The brand has sought approval for new labels that replace the Budweiser name with "America," according to a filing with the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau.
http://adage.com/article/cmo-strategy/a-b-inbev-replace-budweiser-america-packs/303918/


Yes your eyes are not deceiving you. In Bev literally wants Budweiser to be called “America” and is changing the Budweiser cans to reflect that:



And as you can imagine this has prompted a widespread internet backlash with of course some creative Tweeting.

In addition to proudly calling itself America, the new label will also include the Latin phrase which appears on the American seal, "E pluribus unum," Latin for "One out of many," and other touches that scream U.S. of A.
But as news of the rebrand broke, Internet backlash was swift, varied and, in some cases, fierce.
Many pointed to the fact that Budweiser (which was purchased by Belgian-Brazilian InBev in 2008) is no longer an American company:
http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2016/05/11/internet-backlash-ensues-over-budweisers-rebrand-as-america/


I love the guy who said that Budwesier is the official beer of Idiocracy. But in a world where water is replaced with Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator, how do you brew beer with that?

But there’s a great piece on Market Watch where they just completely tear into In Bev’s decision on Budweiser. Here’s an excerpt:

But isn’t that the point of “America”? To assimilate, to round off the edges, to shake the dust off the Old World and to blend seamlessly into the new? After all, Budweiser makes up roughly 8% of the overall beer market and swims in a pool of light lager that accounts for roughly 70% of all beer sold in the U.S., according to Beer Marketer’s Insights. When you hear conversations about “American beer” in Europe, light lager with low alcohol and minimal hop or malt flavor is still very much what they’re talking about. Unfortunately for Budweiser, even its parent company knows that assimilation is more problematic than its oversimplified melting-pot portrayal.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/budweisers-america-no-longer-exists-2016-05-11




And of course we can’t do this piece without mentioning that – why, yes, of course Donald Trump is taking credit for In Bev’s marketing choices.

Earlier Wednesday, presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump got on the phone with his buddies over at Fox & Friends, and they immediately got to the hard questions. Like whether or not Budweiser's proposal to change its name to America for the summer is just an attempt to hitch a ride on the Trump train. The Donald — a man The New Yorker described as someone who "was born on third base and thinks he invented baseball" — agreed that, yes, of course he had something to do with AB InBev's decision:
http://www.grubstreet.com/2016/05/trump-takes-credit-budweiser-america-can.html


You may laugh but there actually is some truth. Sure, Donald Trump took credit, but here’s where marketing executives are actually admitting, admitting that the uptick in America-themed advertising is a direct result of Donald Trump’s campaign:

He was asked on the Fox News show “Fox & Friends” if Trump’s campaign had something to do with Budweiser’s decision. “I think so,” the presumptive Republican nominee said. “They’re so impressed with what our country will become that they decided to do this before the fact.”
http://business.financialpost.com/news/retail-marketing/buds-america-cans-mark-trump-fueled-surge-in-usa-marketing

“Well anyone who isn’t American as I am is a stupid loser!” – Donald Trump

But here’s where I love the internet. While In Bev is a Belgium company, and they own Anheuser-Bush, the parent company of Budweiser, it didn’t take long for the internet to explode with hilarious memes and pointing out the flaws in In Bev’s plan:

But, despite the patriotic changes, one aspect of the Missouri-born beer company cannot be ignored. Anheuser-Busch, based in St. Louis, merged in 2008 with another brewer and became Belgian-Brazilian company Anheuser-Busch InBev, based in… Belgium.
This fact was not lost on social media users, who reacted in posts ranging from humor to confusion.
An Anheuser-Busch spokesman told CNNMoney that Budweiser beer is still American. “All Budweiser served in the U.S. is brewed in the U.S.,” said the spokesman. “This includes the beer inside all of the ‘America’ cans and bottles. This ‘America’ packaging will not be available outside the U.S.”
http://www.bizpacreview.com/2016/05/11/bud-fans-noticed-something-really-messed-up-about-budweisers-america-can-makeover-338913




But here’s my favorite part of the In Bev press release – they actually state that their rationale for this marketing concept is that they’re combining two great things at once – Budweiser and America:
"We thought nothing was more iconic than Budweiser and nothing was more iconic than America," Tosh Hall, the creative director at Budweiser's branding firm, JKR told Co.Design.
http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2016/05/11/internet-backlash-ensues-over-budweisers-rebrand-as-america/

Yes that’s an actual quote from a Budweiser representative. Combining two things at once? Gee, where have I heard that before?



Yes! They’re using the exact same method Mountain Dew used for their infamous “Puppy Monkey Baby” commercial! Well done!



See you next week!

Ed. Note – the Top 10 is now on Twitter! So follow us at @DUInitechTop10 and you can interact with the hashtags in this edition. Your comment might even be posted!. Do it now why don’t you?
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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #27: The Butler Did It (A Bird In The Hand) Edition (Original Post) Initech May 2016 OP
Well I don't care if people like the beer or not Bluzmann57 May 2016 #1
I would just ask for some "Piss Water" on tap, please!! madinmaryland May 2016 #2
Piss water... I like it! Initech May 2016 #3
Keep up the great work! marble falls May 2016 #4

Bluzmann57

(12,336 posts)
1. Well I don't care if people like the beer or not
Sun May 15, 2016, 01:45 PM
May 2016

But I do find it ironic that the beer formerly known as Budweiser now wants to be called America since they are based in Belgium. And I will simply say, "I'd like a bottle of Bud please" should I order a beer at a local watering hole or festival. Kinda like a few years back when I attended a concert/celebration thing in a small town in Eastern Iowa and ordered some French Fries. They told me that all they had were "Freedom Fries." I told them that they didn't have a customer and walked away. If someone wants me to say America beer I will say "no. Budweiser."

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