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Tue Jun 28, 2016, 02:45 AM

Family rifts over Brexit: ‘I can barely look at my parents’

From speaking to young people up and down the country, many of whom are now embroiled in rifts with the closest members of their families, it becomes clear that their reactions to the result are not just matters of political principle, but come from a place of profound grief and betrayal. It sounds dramatic but, for many, the heartbreak is total, because of the futures so many feel they have lost. One person I speak to, from west Wales, has spent their entire adult life studying or working on an EU-funded programme across several European countries, and is furious that despite this their mother didn’t even bother to vote. Another, who speaks two EU languages, is working on a third, and dreams of living abroad, is furious. “Now, because of petty quibbles with EU practice, my parents have voted away my right to live and work in nearly 30 countries,” she says. “Everything I’ve studied for, for as long as I can remember, has been thrown away over false constructs of sovereignty and lies about immigration.

“I am presumably one of the citizens who leave voters thought they were winning the country back for. I don’t want their toxic, pathetic little country, it is not mine. If I had anywhere else to go I would burn my passport.”

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jun/27/brexit-family-rifts-parents-referendum-conflict-betrayal
Frustration:
“We’re graduates, starting our careers and beginning postgraduate studies. We’re newlyweds and nearlyweds, looking for our first homes and who will be starting families in the next 10 years. But when our mum voted, she chose to ignore that, driven by her hate for foreigners, rather than love for her own children. She’s sacrificed a lot in life to give us the best chances but now, with one little cross in a box, she’s undone all the good she did for us. I just don’t understand why she didn’t listen to her children before she voted.”

The other turn:
"Mum says we all make bad choices, she voted for Thatcher in ’79, and she forgives me"
Not all young people voted to remain, of course. Emily, 26, voted leave, while her mum, dad and grandad all voted remain. “My mum hung up the phone on me when she found out my younger sister and I had voted leave. Dad said he was devastated at the result, and my granddad, a second world war veteran, initially told me he was worried for a future he wouldn’t see.” Her younger sister, who is a student, also voted leave.

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Reply Family rifts over Brexit: ‘I can barely look at my parents’ (Original post)
Person 2713 Jun 2016 OP
AllTooEasy Jun 2016 #1
Name removed Jun 2016 #2
Name removed Jun 2016 #3
DonCoquixote Jun 2016 #4
Igel Jun 2016 #8
DonCoquixote Jun 2016 #9
LittleGirl Jun 2016 #5
SDJay Jun 2016 #6
TubbersUK Jun 2016 #7

Response to Person 2713 (Original post)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 03:22 AM

1. Bullshit: England and Wales are to blame

Old and young in Scotland, N. Ireland, and Gibraltar voted to remain.

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Response to Person 2713 (Original post)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 04:10 AM

4. take heed Boomers

While kicking the Millennials is a sport for some here, the fact is, the Millennials are very aware of how their parents got drunk with power, and then voted to screw them just so that they could die with all the toys. If things do not change soon, the same people that gambled and spent through the kid's college fund will find their "golden years" will not be so golden, because even those few Millennials are not broke may not want to let Mommy and Daddy eat through what little they have left.

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Response to DonCoquixote (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 09:12 AM

8. Kids deserve a college fund?

That's news to me, a right to claiming all the independence and rights of an adult as well as holding the parents as serfs to work for you. If it's taken away, resentment and bitterness. If it's paid, a sense that parents properly rendered tribute.

The phrase "little emperor" comes to mind. The little middle of the little middle kingdom.

When baby boomers objected to their parents using their own money and not leaving an inheritance, they were usually considered spoiled and ungrateful. When Millennials have the same attitude, they're just "normal."

The kind of attitude that one kid I knew had is exceptional. His parents weren't wealthy, and he flat out said they decided not to get him a car. His friends were outraged, like he was denied food or shelter. He just shrugged. "They've fed me and my brother and taken care of us for our entire lives, and they're trying to save money for school if I want to." He saw the positive, not the negative. He saw what he'd gotten, not what he demanded. His parents loved him and he loved them back--they weren't just a sow whose only use after birthing her young was having a series of teats that provided milk, but when the piglets are nearly grown is just another pig.


I'd also note that a lot of the "Baby boomers voted to screw them just so that they could die with all the toys" is a fundamental attribution error. For the most educated generation in the US, you'd think they'd have a bit of basic logic. Few baby boomers believed that they were screwing over their kids, so the purpose clause as intent is inappropriate. But enemies don't make mistakes, they only have evil intent. That the Millennials treat their own parents as enemies and demand their parents' sacrifice as a kind of right just goes to the fact that many Baby Boomers did really, really sucky jobs raising their kids.

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Response to Igel (Reply #8)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 02:27 PM

9. College fund?

or inheritance, and no, maybe they do not deserve one...but, the baby boomers sure as hell were happy to profit from the "greatest generation" the depression era kids who survived Hoovervilles, World War II and part of the "Cold War" to give their kids a standard of living that was unforeseen. Part of the "American dream" was to have it so that your kids would start off better than you did, not go psycho on Coke and Junk Bond binges like many former "Flower Children" did in the 80's. The fact the Boomers could not have left a better world, whereas their parents, for all of their flaws did, shows that the Boomers are not made of the same stuff as their parents. Oh yes, the "Greatest Generation" had flaws, especially the Bigotry that gets whitewashed when some here talk about the 50's and 60's, but frankly, they did better with what they had, as opposed to the Boomers who were given a chance to truly advance the world, but instead, retreated back into self indulgence.

All I am saying is this, when Gloria Steinem attacked Millennial women because they did not snap into line, when Gene Simmons attacks Millennials because they no longer know how to rock and roll, and when even a place like DU is riddled with "Millennials are dumb" posts, do not be surprised when Millennials do not defer to you, or make the extra effort to support you. Not that they will not do their part to improve the world, after all, they remember how many boomers joined with the media to downplay the Occupy movements, and how they dissed Black Lives Matter until they saw a tool to beat Bernie Sanders with. Just as Gen X mobilized to put Bill in, Millennials will put Hill in, and as usual, we know who will come along taking the credit and demanding the head table at the victory feast.

Oh, as far as sacrifice, whatever portion of both the national debt, student loan debt the Boomers pay pales next to the young, many of whom have not know peacetime since they were in diapers, but yes, they know war debt will be theirs to pay too.

and lastly:

"Few baby boomers believed that they were screwing over their kids, so the purpose clause as intent is inappropriate. "

If this were to be true, we would have to believe that the Boomers could have have reasonably figured out their course of action would lead to the consequence. They lived through Vietnam where LBJ tried to wage five years of war and spend. To be fair to LBJ, HE was working on the "Great Society" and the Apollo program. Still the writing was on the wall for Ten Years of Mid east warfare, and we did not even get a Moon Shot out of the deal.

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Response to Person 2713 (Original post)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 04:18 AM

5. my spouse

is feeling awful about this whole mess. He grew up in London and couldn't vote because he's lived outside of the UK for over 15 yrs. He feels shocked, betrayed and wonders if when he wants to retire in 12-15 yrs, he may not be able to. And he's worried about his pension. He's been in mourning for days.

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Response to Person 2713 (Original post)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 05:35 AM

6. I'm In London Right Now

and this is very much the hot-button issue it's being portrayed as across the world. I'm making it a point not to bring this up when I talk to people here, but so far pretty much every single person outside of our hotel staff has asked me what I think. They really want to know how this is being spun in the US. I answer as politely as I can, and then every single person immediately asks me, "Are you REALLY thinking about electing Trump as President?" Over here, at least when people speak to Americans, it seems that they see these two issues as similar. In some ways they are.

When walking down the street, you'll see windows with English flags hanging out of them and windows with EU flags waving. It's quite interesting to see and to hear folks talk about this. I'd say for the most part people here are a bit embarrassed, as though their version of teabaggers fooled a lot of people into voting to leave. That's purely anecdotal, of course.

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Response to Person 2713 (Original post)

Tue Jun 28, 2016, 06:22 AM

7. I have sympathy for the Millenials

Shortly before polling day my kids' grandmother announced that she would be voting 'Leave' because she wanted to die in an "England that was England again" (she's 87). When my kids gently offered up their quite different perspective, she informed them that they had no right to question her vote because her husband and brother had served in WWII to keep this country intact. That it was views like theirs that had ruined it and that they'd understand that when they got older (they're 20 an 23).

They were really quite hurt by the fact that she wasn't prepared to even consider how her vote might affect their lives.

I passed it off as an age thing, combined with reading the Daily Express every day of her adult life, but it was quite a damaging little episode.



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