Diana was our society's warning to women (on the 20th anniversary of her death (murder??)
Diana was our societys warning to women
A modern tragedy carried a very old message: that women who have the audacity to break their bonds ultimately suffer
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20th anniversary of Diana's death Princes William and Harry look at tributes outside Kensington Palace
Dianas children, Prince William and Prince Harry, look at tributes left outside Kensington Palace to mark the 20th anniversary of her death. Photograph: Kirsty Wigglesworth/AFP/Getty Images
I remember the day Diana died. I was 19, and had crashed at a friends place in town. When I woke up 20 years ago today the friend said: Princess Diana is dead. I went outside and the streets, tube stations, shops and cafes were empty and silent. In the evening I visited Buckingham Palace and that too was silent. Disbelief, remorse and regret hung in the air.
Diana showed that we need emotion, but its had a downside. These emotions were not misplaced or overblown. I think Dianas death triggered an intelligent, feminism-influenced grief that people of both sexes understood, either overtly or subconsciously. Her tragedy was to be cut down at the apex of a personal awakening that many women experience.
Diana was brought up to be nice, to be kind, to be pretty without being sexual, to be a supportive wife and good mother. Like many women, she entered wedlock in good faith, wore the dress, got the ring, and entered the marital home only to discover that there was nothing there except betrayal, contempt and duty. The fabled love-bower was a piece of cheap cardboard advertising. Her virtue and devotion counted for nothing: were taken advantage of, not cherished. Her beauty retained no sexual allure for her husband. First she was lonely, then she was angry, then she was bored. Then she struck out for self-definition: to create a role for herself and find some dignity and respect, even some joy, in an unjust world. As soon as she could, she got a divorce. This is what Diana did and it is what many women do. Diana divested herself of stuffy, English, insular, 19th-century monarchical pomp and became part of a more cosmopolitan, sophisticated, racially diverse 20th-century super-elite. Instead of attending interminable state banquets she attended gallery openings, which are much more fun. She was carving out a career as a humanitarian, prefiguring the current era in which Hollywood actors become UN ambassadors, and she was doing divorced dating, including having non-white boyfriends. That shouldnt be a big deal, but it still is.
Diana was becoming her own woman just as she was killed, and part of the countrys horror derives from witnessing an ancient curse against women come true: if you dare to diverge from being a good girl, you will be punished. Dianas intimation that she was being set up for death may not have been correct in every detail in the sense of the royal family plotting to have her murdered but her instincts were right and her sense of foreboding was justified. The emotion displayed at her death and the melancholy ruminations of the following two decades are understandable. They stem from an aggrieved recognition of the earthly manifestation of a nasty folkloric lesson: the patriarchal world will shoot you down as a warning to all other women, just as you are making a bid for freedom. In fictional narratives the death of a woman is seen as poignant, as perversely pleasurable even as the audience weeps over the womans circumstances and fate: think of the plots of the great operas and ballets, or such novels as Madame Bovary and Anna Karenina, all written by men. The reality is tawdry and shameful.
Diana was indeed killed, in an unnatural, brutal and spectacular way: hunted down by men who had been targeting her mercilessly for years. They caused her death, and then they objectified and violated her dignity even further: standing over her and photographing her as she died, to help their own careers. When they were done, they discarded her and found other women to follow. That is misogyny writ large; its The Rite of Spring, rendered in tabloid format.
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https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/aug/31/diana-warning-women-tragedy-princess
Warpy
(111,230 posts)and living happily ever after.
Her life showed us that Prince Charming wasn't always so charming, after all, that he was an ordinary man with piss pots of money but who came with his own set of baggage. In this case, it was a long time girlfriend he hadn't been allowed to marry when he'd wanted to. Diana got the title, the clothing, and the adulation. What she didn't get was the happily ever after life tucked up with the prince.
It showed little girls that marrying a prince wasn't a ticket to happiness arranged by a good fairy, it was usually arranged by families wanting to concentrate money and certainly didn't lead to happiness. Marriages are made by flawed people and there is no guarantee of success, no matter how much money there is kicking around.
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Behind the Aegis
(53,938 posts)These emotions were not misplaced or overblown. I think Dianas death triggered an intelligent, feminism-influenced grief that people of both sexes understood, either overtly or subconsciously.
What a load of tosh, as our Boris would say.
In the years before her sad accident (hunted down by men who had been targeting her mercilessly for years. Jay - sus) she was indeed in the tabloids, an awful lot. but this was because she frequented places where the paparazzi hung out - Why the Ritz, Paris, please - and was having quite a number of affairs, - their main topic in the gutter press was bout having a Muslim, which Dodi Fayed was, being related to our future King.
Just to be contrary, her actions were those of an arch prick-teaser.
She was a wonderful human being, but certainly doesn't deserve this flowery flannelly prose, especially 20 years after her death. - Usually unwise to project the 2017 zeitgeist on a figure from the past. For god's sake stop this awful whitewash - most of the UK were sick of the mock-adulation and hysterical emotions (especially if a TV camera was lurking nearby) in 1997 and a bit horrified by ANY sign of dissent.
Very strange days. Too reminiscent of the deaths of Stalin or Kim Il Sung, much as I hate bringing those monsters in for terms of comparison.
FakeNoose
(32,617 posts)She married a man who didn't love her, and she had to grow up quickly while the world watched 24/7.
But I'll never believe she was murdered, certainly not by the royal family. It's pitiful that she received so little sympathy from the royal family members, but they've always been a little strange themselves. It seems her own family had its problems as well, and Diana had few friends she could count on for moral support.
Isn't it time to stop this obsession with sad, pathetic Diana? Her boys are grown up now, and I'm sure they miss her and think of her every day. They should be allowed to grieve quietly and privately, the press just needs to stay away.
BigmanPigman
(51,583 posts)She had many positive and negative characteristics and that is normal and human. Yes, she used men to make others jealous, she manipulated the press too. She called the press to benefit her agenda. She let them know where she would be on vacation on a yacht with a lover in France before she died. She wanted her "true love" ( a surgeon) to give up his practice and life to dote on her. When he wouldn't she tried to make him jealous. She was equally manipulative with Dodi often crying, or playing the poor little rich girl who was very, very needy.
That is not the act of a feminist to me. She had her own problems and entered into a marriage for the wrong reasons. It was her choice. I do not admire or dismiss her as a person. She was flawed and human and normal. Period.