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"The Onion" Has Finally Read Michael Cohen's 2013 Email Regarding His Client Donald Trump
Popehat Retweeted: https://twitter.com/Popehat
When Michael Cohen, competent lawyer, told @TheOnion it "goes way beyond defamation" to publish an piece by "Donald Trump" entitled "When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years": https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-has-finally-read-michael-cohen-s-2013-email-1826197533?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=The_Onion_twitter …
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COMMENTARY
‘The Onion’ Has Finally Read Michael Cohen’s 2013 Email Regarding His Client Donald Trump And Would Like To Discuss The Matter Further At His Convenience
Today 11:59am
In a free press, journalists must expose the truth even if it upsets those in power. Our work often leads to significant backlash, and we at The Onion are no strangers to receiving threats of legal action. While we generally dismiss them as the baseless accusations they are, we recently found an old cease-and-desist letter from the president’s personal attorney that has caused us to reexamine this policy. ... Our editorial board would like to formally announce that we have finally read Michael Cohen’s 2013 email regarding his client Donald Trump and would like to discuss the matter further at his convenience.
In 2013, we published a piece by Mr. Trump titled “When You’re Feeling Low, Just Remember I’ll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years.” Mr. Trump’s column, which was thoroughly vetted by our editors, simply endeavored to offer any of The Onion’s over 10 billion readers who had found themselves depressed about the state of the world a hopeful reminder that he would mentally and physically deteriorate and most likely die very soon.
Shortly thereafter, we apparently received an email from Mr. Cohen. Unfortunately, this email must have been improperly sorted by one of the Malaysian children who work in our mailroom, and was only discovered crumpled up under a pile of journalism awards in a remote corner of our offices last week. We read the email, and given Mr. Trump’s ascension to the presidency since its writing, we want to apologize for the delay and would be delighted to meet with Mr. Cohen in person—at the White House, perhaps?
In the spirit of transparency, here is Mr. Cohen’s letter, printed in full:
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--lbDPc_63--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/f3k8iltwcctyctqbaakm.jpg
While we respectfully disagree with Mr. Cohen’s assessments, we understand that he is duty-bound to safeguard his client’s public image, a task he has no doubt fulfilled time and time again throughout his many years of dedicated service. With that in mind, we would like to, at long last, take him up on his request that we “contact immediately to discuss.”
....
‘The Onion’ Has Finally Read Michael Cohen’s 2013 Email Regarding His Client Donald Trump And Would Like To Discuss The Matter Further At His Convenience
Today 11:59am
In a free press, journalists must expose the truth even if it upsets those in power. Our work often leads to significant backlash, and we at The Onion are no strangers to receiving threats of legal action. While we generally dismiss them as the baseless accusations they are, we recently found an old cease-and-desist letter from the president’s personal attorney that has caused us to reexamine this policy. ... Our editorial board would like to formally announce that we have finally read Michael Cohen’s 2013 email regarding his client Donald Trump and would like to discuss the matter further at his convenience.
In 2013, we published a piece by Mr. Trump titled “When You’re Feeling Low, Just Remember I’ll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years.” Mr. Trump’s column, which was thoroughly vetted by our editors, simply endeavored to offer any of The Onion’s over 10 billion readers who had found themselves depressed about the state of the world a hopeful reminder that he would mentally and physically deteriorate and most likely die very soon.
Shortly thereafter, we apparently received an email from Mr. Cohen. Unfortunately, this email must have been improperly sorted by one of the Malaysian children who work in our mailroom, and was only discovered crumpled up under a pile of journalism awards in a remote corner of our offices last week. We read the email, and given Mr. Trump’s ascension to the presidency since its writing, we want to apologize for the delay and would be delighted to meet with Mr. Cohen in person—at the White House, perhaps?
In the spirit of transparency, here is Mr. Cohen’s letter, printed in full:
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--lbDPc_63--/c_scale,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/f3k8iltwcctyctqbaakm.jpg
While we respectfully disagree with Mr. Cohen’s assessments, we understand that he is duty-bound to safeguard his client’s public image, a task he has no doubt fulfilled time and time again throughout his many years of dedicated service. With that in mind, we would like to, at long last, take him up on his request that we “contact immediately to discuss.”
....
Wait, I just assumed the email was fake? I’ve never seen a half-serious article in the Onion. Is this a real email?
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They referenced it in 2016:
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1 replies
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