Our obsession with happiness is making our kids miserable

[mia]

It was front and center in a slide show of other people’s beautiful kitchen renovations: one of those artsy wooden “House Rules” signs. Rule Number 7, showcased in the biggest script of all and sandwiched between “Show compassion” and “Love each other” was this: “BE HAPPY.”

Admittedly, seeing that made me anything but. As a psychologist, I can’t help but wonder: Who in this world has ever gotten happy because someone else told them they have to be?

And worse, what if our culture’s incessant demands to be happy are actually making our kids miserable?

It seems counterintuitive, of course, but to be happy in the long run, we should more fully embrace the times when we’re not....

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2021/02/23/kids-happiness-emotions/

[nycbos]

1. Study Finds Every Style Of Parenting Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults

SANTA ROSA, CA—A study released by the California Parenting Institute Tuesday shows that every style of parenting inevitably causes children to grow into profoundly unhappy adults. "Our research suggests that while overprotective parenting ultimately produces adults unprepared to contend with life's difficulties, highly permissive parenting leads to feelings of bitterness and isolation throughout adulthood," lead researcher Daniel Porter said. "And, interestingly, we found that anything between those two extremes is equally damaging, always resulting in an adult who suffers from some debilitating combination of unpreparedness and isolation.

https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-every-style-of-parenting-produces-disturbed-1819573056?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2tEBP9WSsjqvAqMnruhyKeC-ZycXSH6rUcP-PQg2OyAd8eNy4OmCVvvrY

[Mersky]

4. Kick

[empedocles]

2. ' . . .encourage your kids to give voice to their feelings' - [from the article]

We encourage our 5 yr old granddaughter to watch PBS's 'Arthur' for kids - which is about feelings, rather than the 'information' or 'happiness' that so much of entertainment concentrates on. Kids seem to be like sponges that absorb so much which is around them.

[TheRealNorth]

3. Maybe they are trying to prepare their kids for the working world....

Its not enough to do your job, you have to be happy happy like a Disney princess while doing it.

[Chainfire]

5. If someone insists on being miserable, they will find a way.

I am nearly 70 years old, and only in the past couple of years have I allowed myself to be happy most of the time, but I still feel guilty about it.

[Ferrets are Cool]

6. Hell, I would have been happy if

my "dad" had not beaten me almost daily.


I'm sure there are still hundreds of thousands of children in the U.S. who still live with that fear. Why don't we worry about those kids and the ones who are still in cages. Yes, I am being extremely snarky, but being overly concerned about parents trying to "make" their kids happy doesn't seem like a national crisis.

[janterry]

7. we don't emphasize resiliency

teachers at my daughter's school have no idea how to build that (I've mentioned it). She's a senior - so I just let it go.

But we are certainly problematizing a whole generation (or two)