What Dr. Jill Biden Knows For Sure About Resilience
The First Lady of the United States writes about healing together as a family after the death of her son, Beau.
By Jill Biden, First Lady of the United States
Mar 25, 2021
'The Monday before Thanksgiving in 2016, Joe and I drove through familiar neighborhoods of gray-blue shingled houses to a cottage not far from the Nantucket Sound. When the rental car came to a stop, our five grandkids poured out, rowdy from the long trip, and gathered their bundles of teenaged things. Joe unlocked the door for them, but I stopped at the foot of the entryway steps to take a deep breath of the cold New England air. I put on a smile that I didn’t quite feel as I had done so many times since we lost our son, Beau, to cancer.
The year before, our family had forgone our yearly Thanksgiving tradition. Nantucket was just another place to remind us of all that we had lost, like a photograph with Beau’s face cut out. I knew how hard it would be to come back, but this year, the grandkids had asked. Thanksgiving was Nantucket. They missed the little shops, the ice cream parlor we always visited, the traditional Friday lunch. They wanted to watch the Christmas tree lighting and wander the cobblestone streets. They wanted to be together and feel normal again. So, Joe and I said yes.
Once we were all inside the house, the grandkids pulled out all of our favorite games: checkers, cards, Monopoly. They easily fell back into our old routine. For Natalie and Hunt, Beau’s children, the loss of their dad will always be a part of them, but so will his love—and when there is a chance for joy, they don’t hesitate.
As I watched the kids laugh in the firelight, I thought about the first year we came here. It was just Joe, the boys, Beau, Hunt, and me, exploring Nantucket for the first time. It was where we learned how to be a family. We had formed and carried on traditions here. And now, our grandchildren were doing the same. We move forward, day by day. . .
This is what I know for sure: At some point in our lives, we will all be broken and bruised— but we are not alone. We find joy together. We persevere together. The morning always comes, and the seasons always change. We walk hand in hand through the twists and turns, and when we can’t walk, we let ourselves be carried by those we love. These are the gifts we have to give: our strength, our vulnerability, our faith in one another. We know we cannot always heal ourselves, but we can lean on each other and lift each other up. And together, we are so much more resilient than we know.'
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