Dear Six Week Old Embryo - A letter from Governor Greg Abbott

[Ocelot II]

Happy 43rd post-conception day. You’re ours now. Glad to have you aboard. Other than being equals in the eyes of the great state of Texas, you and I have something else in common. Neither of us really has any idea when you were actually conceived. So this could be day 41 or 39 or 52 or any other number of days. The important thing is today is the day we’ve decided to take over your mother’s womb.

The thing we do know about your conception, assuming police reports and court records are correct, is the circumstance surrounding it. Apparently your mother was raped repeatedly by a paternal uncle. Although at such a tender point in her life your mother may view this as a less than ideal situation in which to bring a human being into an increasingly perilous world, we know better than she does that one day she’s bound to look back and see these events as part of God’s plan. The error in your mother’s judgment cannot be blamed on her. What in all fairness can you expect to know about God’s will at the age of 14?

Obviously by empowering random folks in the Longhorn state to go after doctors, nurses, Uber drivers and the Jiffy Lube service technicians who keep those Ubers on the road, we have gone out on a limb for you. Lord knows it isn’t always easy letting rightwing fundamentalists draft legislation you wind up having to sign under duress in the middle of a tryst with the babysitter, but we all have to make sacrifices now and again. What I’m trying to say is you’re welcome.

Before you get too excited about the amazing life you are about to live, we need to clarify a few small points. We will be providing no prenatal care or funding for such. Good luck with the malformed aortic valve and the papillomavirus your mother contracted from her assailant. Though obstacles lie ahead, this may be your mother’s best chance to take full responsibility for her actions. Fortunately there are plenty of wonderful prolife OB-GYNs out there in your network if you have the Capital Blue Cross gold plan. If you don’t, may we suggest you earn a STEM degree and secure a position at a Fortune 500 company, which typically comes with excellent benefits. Word to the wise—avoid what’s left of Obamacare.

The rest: https://thebanter.substack.com/p/dear-six-week-old-embryo

[secondwind]

1. It's hard to read this and to think that this is where we are right now...in the year 2021.

Unbelievable....

[Walleye]

2. Oh, and if you are a girl, you have all of this to look forward to, and worse

[keithbvadu2]

3. And after your birth, if you become an expensive inconvenience to the state, we may kill you, like w

And after your birth, if you become an expensive inconvenience to the state, we may kill you, like we did to Sun Hudson.

Republican guv, republican prez.