Why Tucker Carlson wants men to aim lasers at their private parts

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

By Dana Milbank

With the pandemic fading (at least for now), there are fewer occasions to swallow ivermectin or hydroxychloroquine or to inject oneself with bleach.

So what’s a Trump-loving, conspiracy-obsessed Fox News-viewing guy to do?

Tucker Carlson has the answer: He should stand naked and spread-eagle on top of a large rock at twilight and gaze heavenward as a red laser illuminates his genitals.

“One of the biggest stories of our lifetimes is the total collapse of testosterone levels in American men … completely changing the way people are at the most fundamental level,” Carlson says in introducing the trailer for his latest “documentary.” After showing the teaser, Carlson brings in his expert “fitness professional” Andrew McGovern.

McGovern recommends that you “expose yourself to red-light therapy and the Joovv” — a brand of red light — “that we were using in the documentary.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/04/18/tucker-carlson-testicle-tanning-masculinity-wrong/

[Praek3]

1. Tucker is a Fake Man

Bless your itty bitty heart Tucker. It isn't our fault your testicles haven't yet dropped. Leave us all alone and stop projecting your shortcomings onto the rest of us.

The real men I know plumb houses and communities. They weld. They run banks and coach little league. They drive forklifts. They build elevators.

THEY DO NOT SIT AND WHINE ON CAMERA, WEARING MAKE UP!

Put YOUR tiny balls in the red light. If you can find them.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

2. Tucker's obsession with masculinity

[Martin68]

3. The sexual insecurities of wing nuts is a bottomless swamp frustrated desire.

[MeNotThatKindOfOrc]

4. I hope whatever sunlight exposes what pecker he has and gives him a terrific sunburn. nt

[Harker]

5. If he's expecting his viewers to raise an army of fascist supermen

they're going to have to put down the Bud Light and get out of their La-Z-Boys.

[lees1975]

6. You've got to be kidding.

I never pay any attention to Tucker Carlson, he's a complete sell-out, saying whatever he needs to say to keep the money rolling into his pocket. He's another one of those Rush Lamebrain, er, Limbaugh types who knows just how stupid some people are and just what kind of stupidity has to be assumed in order to get enough viewers to sell advertising. He plays to his audience. Unless you see him laying on a rock somewhere.

[Crowman2009]

7. Let's hope these ball lasers lead to a bunch of sterile incels.

[question everything]

8. Wallace mentioned this earlier

So now he is the Toxic masculinity who used to wear bow ties and who was, I think, a trust fund baby?

[BigmanPigman]

9. Hey, Fucker Carlson,

when are you going to go to Ukraine and fight next to Malcolm Nance? Never I suppose. All talk and no walk. Typical GQP asshole.