The False Tropes About Rape We Must Destroy

[niyad]

The False Tropes About Rape We Must Destroy
5/9/2023 by Amy L. Bernstein

Update May 9, 2023, at 12:22 p.m. PT: The jury has returned a verdict in the E. Jean Carroll / Donald Trump battery (rape) and defamation case: The jury found Trump liable for sexual abuse of Carroll, as well as defamation, but not for rape. In total, Trump is ordered to pay Carroll about $5 million.



E. Jean Carroll arrives for her civil trial against former President Donald Trump at Manhattan Federal Court on May 9, 2023, in New York City. Carroll has testified that she was raped by Trump, giving details about the alleged attack in the mid-1990s. (Spencer Platt / Getty Images)

E. Jean Carroll is technically the plaintiff in her civil rape trial against Donald J. Trump. But in terms of spectacle, she has arguably been forced into the role of defendant: Every thought, every choice she makes, and has made, over decades has been parsed for intentionality, for hidden meanings and veiled beliefs. Carroll has been asked to defend her existence existentially—given that her reality as a functioning human being has been so broadly called into question. Carroll is being put through all that for a crime she did not commit, but which was committed UPON her. Her painful, and now painfully public, memories of being raped are as difficult to hear and read about as every other rape case. This never gets easier, even after woeful repetitions throughout the #MeToo era.

It is absolutely past time to bury, once and for all, the false tropes about rape that still color judicial proceedings and certain courts of public opinion. Three tropes in particular stand out in the Carroll trial. The first is that there is a script for how women are expected to respond physically to rape, and anything reported that’s not in the script somehow doesn’t count. Carroll physically fought her rapist by kneeing him, among other things. But that doesn’t let her off the hook of responsibility. No, we cannot call “scene” until the woman has screamed. Not a quiet, strangled scream, but a loud, blood-curdling one that surely would be heard for miles. As Carroll said, in an instantly classic line, “You can’t beat up on me for not screaming.” Oh, but we can. The script calls for it.

. . . . .

The second trope that needs to die is the notion that a woman who’s been raped who remains silent—whether for an hour or three decades—has decided (a) nothing bad happened; or (b) he didn’t mean to hurt me; or (c) if I keep it to myself, I’ll forget it ever happened. This is all very convenient logic and for the most part, totally baseless. Countless studies and books by Alexandra Brodsky and others highlight many more honest reasons why women do not report sexual assault or rape. A traumatic experience like rape affects memory and the brain in ways non-victims may not understand or be able to anticipate. But I especially want to call your attention to a federal research study conducted in the dark ages of rape culture—1979. The U.S. Department of Justice conducted a study on why women do not report sexual assault. The reason reported over and over was fear: of police and the court system; of retaliation; of not being believed; of being blamed; of becoming isolated, and more.
. . . . .

The third trope that’s demonstrably harmful is the idea that police officers are knights in shining armor, itching to rescue any damsel in distress. According to the Journal of Interpersonal Violence, one in five cases reported to police are deemed baseless (by police) and therefore coded as “unfounded.” No wonder, then, that hundreds of thousands of rape kits sit untested in police department and crime lab storage facilities across the country. What we have here is a tragic chicken-and-egg situation. Women vastly underreport sexual assaults and rapes to police because they are convinced they will not be believed. And police, for their part, are chronically skeptical of women who do report, or try to. More training may help, but cultural tropes are notoriously hard to kill.

. . .

To this day, women like E. Jean Carroll still endure a death of sorts with every question that seeks to put them in the wrong, for years on end, stretching into forever. We’ve got to stop behaving like this.

https://msmagazine.com/2023/05/09/e-jean-carroll-rape-trump/

[keithbvadu2]

1. Republican statements about rape ... One said: enjoy it.

Link to tweet

/photo/1

[niyad]

2. Thank you for that horrifying collection of misogyny and woman-hatred.

How do they get so sick and twisted???

[keithbvadu2]

3. GOP Senate candidate: Pregnancy from rape "a gift from God"

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10143057499

[3catwoman3]

6. I was familiar with the statements from the first 4, but not...

…Lawrence Lockman -what a moron!

I looked him up. He’s a state rep in Maine. Married, with 4 children and 5 grandchildren. I feel very sorry for Mrs. Lockman and any daughters that might be among the 4.

If I heard anything like that, privately or publicly, from my husband, he would be my EX-husband tout de suite.

[Grokenstein]

13. Yeah, that last one was new to me...and just jawdropping.

We'll be hearing from those kids eventually, one way or the other.

[niyad]

14. Actually, he was covered here on DU when he made that appalling statement.

I believe a number of us called his office to express our outrage.

[Warpy]

7. I would like do describe to them what happens

and ask them how much they'd enjoy being raped.

And don't think that doesn't happen, it does. Male victims are just as traumatized and even less likely to come forward.

Rapists are all about control and humiliation. They don't care who they rape. Women are just easier to overpower.

Yeah, I'd really like to ask those entitled oafs that question.

[IronLionZion]

9. Some of those GOP are probably guilty of some bad stuff

that Lockman fellow sounds like a rapist.

[sheshe2]

4. Ms hits the nail on the head with this article.

Thank you for this, niyad.

[sheshe2]

5. What were you wearing

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100216641126

[forgotmylogin]

8. I have not been raped, but I was casually molested as a pre-teen.

And I don't mean "casually" to reduce the wrongness of what happened, but I'm male and I was inappropriately touched on multiple occasions by another male cousin a bit older than me when I stayed over at their house, usually while watching TV under a blanket in the basement rec-room they'd banish us kids to when the adults wanted some grown-up time.

I can understand the 'not screaming' part because the first place my mind went to was denial: "this can't be happening, it's an accident, it will stop; if I don't acknowledge this we don't have to discuss it and we can go on like nothing is wrong". Plus I was extremely embarrassed about it since it was being done to me by another guy and I had no vocabulary to express or communicate or even understand what was going on. There was no way I was going to describe to anyone what happened under the blanket because it felt like I was a participant and it was my fault as well (though it was not) - I participated willingly in the playful roughhousing that eventually led to the inappropriate touching. He was my "cool older friend" and I didn't want him to not like me. And I wasn't brave enough at that age to assert myself and just say "hey, stop that."

I was mortified whenever it would happen and I'd basically just glaze over and concentrate on the TV and let it happen, feeling guilty that it felt good and I sort of enjoyed it having no previous experience with sexual contact or orgasms but unable to process how any reaction I had didn't negate the wrongness of it nor place the blame on me since I was an unwilling participant even though I allowed it to happen on multiple occasions. Outside of these events I'd pretend nothing was wrong of course, and never even discussed it with my cousin. I didn't really want to get my cousin (and by proxy, me) in trouble.

[Duppers]

12. It's very sad and unfair....

How people treat victims of all ages as being part of "the problem." If YOU hadn't blah blah blah...

[Laura PourMeADrink]

10. Lots of validity !!! For sure. But in Carroll's case I read she

May not have explained succinctly that he penetrated her with his penis... Which is the requirement by law in NY. And there are stipulations and finer details about that. Maybe she didn't meet? She said he inserted his finger in first. Of course I don't know exactly what she said. Is there a transcript?

Bottom line it might be unfair to say she was raped and no one charged him without cause? Unless of course we know all the evidence. Then we will know if jury withheld liability on his part for a reason other than following what the law says

[MetalMama]

11. As a survivor

of a date rape I can attest to the fear of not being believed and being blamed. I even had a therapist not believe me and say, "Well, at least, you learned not to go with just any man". What?? The man in question was someone I had been seeing for a while. He wasn't "just any man".

It took me 10 years just to say it out loud that I had been raped. There's no way I would have gone to the police. This happened in the 1980s in an area not known for its liberal views, especially concerning women.

Luckily, my daughter, who has a degree in psychology, has helped me deal with this much more than any therapist or doctor even did, or could.