The Borowitz Report: Here's a new caption contest and we can play along

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/tbr-caption-contest-finalists

Please note: Only paid subscribers to The Borowitz Report can vote on the TBR website, but we DUers can play along on our own ...

What sweet nothings was Little Marco really whispering into Metamucilini’s ear?

That’s the question I posed in this latest edition of TBR’s Caption Contest. And readers responded with hundreds of entries — many of them inventively filthy! I have winnowed the submissions to a select group of finalists. Since this website represents one of the few vestiges of democracy left in America, I am putting it to you, TBR readers, to choose the winner:

#1 “Sir, your fly is unzipped, but don’t worry . . . no one can see anything.”

#2 “Mr. President: We’ve just received a call from the Nobel committee. They are announcing tomorrow that they are referring you to the International Criminal Court in The Hague.”

#3 “His name is JD Vance…he’s your vice-president.”

- more at link -

Tell us below which caption is your favorite, or maybe suggest a better one?

I'm going with #1.

[MiHale]

1. " Sir, It's leaking out your pant leg again"

[taxi]

2. You do know that Mike Pence has been talking about China, don't you?

I've already called a carpenter and a sailor.

[Ocelot II]

3. "Her name is Melania."

[2MuchNoise]

4. May every day be another wonderful secret.

[Paladin]

5. "Metamucilini" for the win.

Close runner-up: #3.

[GreenWave]

6. "There weren't any Epstein kidnap victims on those fishing boats."

Sorry I thought it was more interactive,,,

[FakeNoose]

9. It is interactive on The Borowitz Report website, if you're a paid subscriber

It so happens that I am a paid subscriber, and I share Andy Borowitz's jokes and short articles almost daily.
This one is a little different, because it's asking for readers to vote on their favorite caption.
We can't do that on the TBR website, but we can do it here on DU.

[Jrose]

7. "Mr. Pres., which closets and bathrooms in the new ballroom...

...should we hide the hundreds of pages of the Epstein files where your name and photos with naked 12 year olds appear?"

[usonian]

8. Sir, Epstein sighting at 10 O'Clock High!

[FakeNoose]

10. Hah! For all we know, Marco might be on Epstein's list too!

Except for the fact that he's not a one-percenter, Marco could easily have been one of Epstein's targets.