The Borowitz Report: When Trump Named a Horse After Himself

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/when-trump-named-a-horse-after-himself

Welcome to this Sunday edition of TBR! This week we unveil an amazing new anthem for Greenland, and unearth a humiliating story from Donald Trump’s failure-laden past.

Note: This story is 100% true, because it would be impossible for me to make up something this bizarre.

When Donald Trump recently slapped his name on the Kennedy Center and a proposed series of battleships, he shocked millions who couldn’t imagine a U.S. president marking his territory like an incontinent poodle.

But these christenings, as embarrassing as they were, shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Trump has never been able to resist putting his name on things. In fact, he once did it to a horse.

While Trump’s catastrophic tenure as a casino proprietor is legendary, less has been made of his brief but equally disastrous career as a racehorse owner.

In 1988 Trump agreed to pay half a million dollars for a colt named Alibi, whose royal lineage marked him as a potential Triple Crown winner. Although the name Alibi should have appealed to an owner who was constantly in legal hot water, he chose instead to rename the horse “DJ Trump.” That means that, if you count Don Jr., for a brief moment in American history there were three mammals with the same name.

- more at link -

Great story! Please read the rest on The Borowitz Report ....

I kind of feel bad for the poor horse though. He had no chance. Of course he was doomed to fail, because "everything Chump touches, dies."

[Ocelot II]

1. I'd love to read the rest but there's a paywall.

[FakeNoose]

2. I think this link lets you see the story

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/when-trump-named-a-horse-after-himself?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

I am a paid subscriber to The Borowitz Report, and this is the link they've given me.
If it doesn't work, I'll get an archived link.

[Ocelot II]

3. It doesn't work. I tried archive too, that just went to the paywall.

[FakeNoose]

5. Please see my "Part 2"

[FakeNoose]

4. Borowitz Report: Part 2

Here's the rest of the story ....

Unfortunately, the colt’s record was no more winning than his owner’s. Trump (the man) demanded that Trump (the horse) race immediately, against the advice of its trainer. After a bug swept through the horse’s stable in Florida, Trump, in an early display of his penchant for downplaying viruses, demanded that DJ keep training. (Interestingly, though he would later promote the equine dewormer Ivermectin to treat humans for COVID, he did not prescribe this horse medicine for an actual horse.)

Much like the Kennedy Center, which hemorrhaged ticket buyers and performing artists after being tarnished by Trump’s name, a curse befell the horse formerly known as Alibi. Because of Trump’s insistence that it keep training, the ill-fated steed would never race: it became infected with the virus and lost circulation in his forelegs. Eerily, a similar affliction would someday strike his namesake.

[Ocelot II]

6. Thanks! Poor horse.

[Grins]

7. That's a true story!

It’s even in the 1991 book “Trumped” written by John O’Donnall who was president and COO of Trump Plaza and Casino in Atlantic City.

[FakeNoose]

8. Chump has had nothing but failures

The New Jersey casinos, the Trump Airline, the football team, Trump University, the steaks, the wines, the beauty pageants (which he sold off several years ago), the golf resorts in Scotland are losing money, etc. There used to be several "Trump" hotels that he managed, but the real owners have taken his name off because the Chump name is poison.

The story about the horse is kind of sad (for the horse) but Chump's mismanagement is not in any way surprising.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

9. K&R

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

10. Trump looks more like a horse's ass