Take Five (Talking Second Amendment Blues edition)
Jeff Rosenzweig: Take Five (Talking Second Amendment Blues edition)
ONE: Apocalypse Whenever
The Internet has really revolutionized insomnia. By 5:00 this morning I had already finished watching a Julian Lennon interview from 1999 and several videos of cats riding Roombas, before rashly moving on to footage of speeches from the NRAs recent annual meeting in Houston.
The only thing rivaling the brimstone stink of the rhetoric at this years conclave was a Zombie Industries product being hawked there, a female target mannequin christened The Ex capable of bleeding when shot. Another one of the companys range of charming models Bleeding Rocky Zombie had been removed from the companys kiosk at the NRAs request due to its resemblance to President Obama. The Ex was hastily renamed Alexa after the marketing geniuses at Zombie Industries finally decided there is such a thing as bad press after all.
The NRAs rare circumspection over Bleeding Rocky Zombie was deeply overshadowed by the vicious, imbecilic sentiments of many of the conventions speakers, starting with those of the organizations executive vice president and perennial poster boy for vicious imbecility, irascible pipsqueak Wayne LaPierre.
After a warm introduction from everyones favorite America-hating felon, Oliver North, LaPierre manned the podium to talk about gun control pretty much the way people in the 1940s talked about the Axis powers...