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glowing
(12,233 posts)at work. I work at a hotel, so dealing with customer service issues is a constant we must maintain... So, if I'm a bitch about saying something about being addressed like such, then, I could come under fire and complaint for being a "bitch". I normally try to say something like, "my name is ...." with a smile, but the older the man, the more they do it.
If you don't know someone's name and you are addressing a female, Ma'am is appropriate, like I would say "Sir" to someone in a likewise situation. Just food for thought... My husband had a habit of doing the "sweetie" thing. I told him no one likes it. They may smile or giggle a bit, but that's not because they like it, they are uncomfortable with you adding "sweetie" to them when they don't know you from a hole in the wall. It makes you a creep. I reversed it and asked him how would he feel if he was standing out of site, but within ear shot of all the men who come up and address me as if they have a right to... terms of endearment are used for people who have a relationship with one another in a comfortable setting... Its not for random strangers. Kind of like you wouldn't go up random dude and say "what's up bitch or something stupid", but a good friend you've joshed with and hung out with, you might do that as a joke... Think before you speak!!!
leftyohiolib
(5,917 posts)glowing
(12,233 posts)If that helps any? Watch an older, proper woman for a few hours out and about shopping... The way in which she will say, Miss or Ma'am or Sir. Most people used to get ettiquette training from their parents.. but their damned parents are cat calling and doing stupid shit their own selves.
Other thing, when I'm in the middle of running, honking, screaming out the window or other shit just sucks ass too. I'm hot, sweaty, in the work out mode, with music pumping.. It just scares the crap out of me...
RebelOne
(30,947 posts)some jerks came into the office and one of them addressed me as "girlie." I said, "My name is ..." and I did not say it nicely. He shut up after that.
glowing
(12,233 posts)I had an issue with a guest payment, and "sweetie" or "sweatheart" was being used like I was a little pet doing wrong and he was right (though he wasn't)... a way in which to dismiss me. I said, my name is ...., if you cannot handle that, you can try Ma'am, but I'm not going to continue to have a conversation in which you are dismissing me and demeaning me by reducing my value like I am stupid or don't know what I'm doing... That's worse than the random cat calls to me.
Bernardo de La Paz
(60,320 posts)
MillennialDem
(2,367 posts)I know that's patronizing rather than objectifying:
First I'm a lesbian
Second I'm 33 (31 at the time). Dude was in his 50s.
Third: a conservative. gross!
But yes I've had to deal with my share of creepers.
One time I had a guy in a bar tell me I had a nice body (he knew I was a lesbian) and I said thank you. He then asked if I would give him a kiss, I said no. And rather than just taking it at that he got all butthurt and creepy about it.
glowing
(12,233 posts)Its demeaning and devaluing.. creating an uneven balance of what should be equal thoughts, but because he can't handle the real truth or have a real argument that is viable, he uses misogyny to demean and belittle you in his actions and in his mind.... and he's probably teaching his children (if he had any) that its a "man's world" and the son has more ability and rights than the daughter who needs to be "taken care of" and "kept in line".
MVNGFWD2013
(16 posts)
blackspade
(10,056 posts)Dude, do you even lift?
Well, after "fuck off."
I think that a simple smile is the best complement.
yuiyoshida
(45,415 posts)Especially if you are out by yourself. I normally try to go places with a friend. Does not always help.