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Tue Apr 29, 2014, 01:14 AM

S#!T Ignorant People Say To Autistics

&feature=youtu.be

Simply awesome!

20 replies, 2321 views

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Arrow 20 replies Author Time Post
Reply S#!T Ignorant People Say To Autistics (Original post)
HuckleB Apr 2014 OP
Nanjing to Seoul Apr 2014 #1
Helen Borg Apr 2014 #2
Blanks Apr 2014 #3
Helen Borg Apr 2014 #4
Blanks Apr 2014 #5
Dr Hobbitstein Apr 2014 #6
greiner3 Apr 2014 #9
Blanks Apr 2014 #12
Helen Borg Apr 2014 #15
AtheistCrusader Apr 2014 #14
nolabels Apr 2014 #10
Glorfindel Apr 2014 #7
HuckleB Apr 2014 #8
Glorfindel Apr 2014 #13
dembotoz Apr 2014 #11
proverbialwisdom Apr 2014 #16
HuckleB Apr 2014 #17
HuckleB May 2014 #19
proverbialwisdom Apr 2014 #18
Rhiannon12866 May 2014 #20

Response to HuckleB (Original post)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 03:57 AM

1. I have mild asperger's and am extremely bipolar. You gotta hear the shit I've been told.

 

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Response to HuckleB (Original post)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 07:33 AM

2. Everybody needs a hug.

Not sure why that is a bad thing. Since when is a sign of support and human kindness something to make fun of?

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Response to Helen Borg (Reply #2)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 08:40 AM

3. A lot of autistic people don't like to be touched. At all. Eom

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Response to Blanks (Reply #3)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 08:55 AM

4. There is a lot of variability...

It's a Spectrum... Not liking to be hugged is not a defining characteristic of ASD. There are non ASD people who do not like to be touched for whatever reason. In any case, I found this clip a bit over the top and insensitive. ASD is a rather fuzzy condition, and so people should be given a break for not knowing what a particular ASD person may or may not like. If someone offers a hug, that should at least be taken as a sign this person may want to be your friend, not as an insult.

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Response to Helen Borg (Reply #4)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 09:21 AM

5. I spend a significant amount of time with people with ASD...

I'm aware that there is a 'spectrum'. I thought the video was a little over the top too, but it is about ignorant things that people say - and only an ignorant person would offer to give someone a hug with a diagnosis of a disorder that includes 'not wanting to be touched'. Whether you believe its a defining characteristic or not, it's not that it's an insult to the autistic person, it's a display of ignorance on the part of the person making the offer. That recommendation is no less ignorant than the question 'have you tried not being autistic'.

I don't think the video was insensitive - I thought it was kind of blunt. I have a 22 year old autistic son and the video looks like a video he would make. She seemed authentic to me.

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Response to Helen Borg (Reply #4)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 10:25 AM

6. My daughter is autistic...

 

And nearly EVERYTHING she stated was shit people have suggested to me about my daughter. I think she was SPOT ON!

Especially that part about TV shows. And a LOT of autistic people don't like hugs. My daughter will REFUSE hugs unless she WANTS to give one to someone.

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Response to Dr Hobbitstein (Reply #6)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 12:17 PM

9. I don't touch people;

 

This does have many down sides as I find it very hard to initiate conversations and have trouble getting dates.

Even then I don't initiate the hugging 'process' until I know them quite well but if they make the slightest first move I'll reciprocate.

I HATE crowds and/or crowded places i.e. malls, carnivals, state fairs, busy sidewalks and will go out of my way to run errands during bad weather as there are so many fewer people.

I never thought of myself as being on the spectrum until Asperger's syndrome became popularized.

Growing up my so-called peers called me strange and different and have embraced these labels because I would have being the norm; vive la difference.

So I too at least can emphasize with the young woman but I appear pretty normal until I get to know the person and actually this makes a difference because there are so many people 'prejudiced' against the syndrome because of sensational news stories and movies and it takes a kind hearted person along with someone who can reason to take it to the next step, especially in a romantic way.

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Response to greiner3 (Reply #9)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 02:06 PM

12. I think they took Asperger's syndrome out of the DSM 5. eom

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Response to Blanks (Reply #12)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 06:15 PM

15. Yes, they did. nt

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Response to Helen Borg (Reply #4)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 05:08 PM

14. The poster you responded to said 'A lot' not 'all'.

So I don't understand your response. Saying it's a spectrum actually dovetails nicely with the original claim.


I'm one of those people that is not ASD, and does not like to be touched AT ALL by people who are not my wife or child. It's a strongly held personal space belief.

Not inserting oneself into a non-mutual hug upon a stranger is generally a best practice, regardless.

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Response to Blanks (Reply #3)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 12:59 PM

10. This is true, i am that way mostly

People sometimes take it the wrong way and think of it as an insult when you try to escape or push away. You learn through the years how to steer clear of those situations and often it seems easier.

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Response to HuckleB (Original post)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 11:56 AM

7. Wouldn't it be better to say "people with autism" rather than define the person as "autistic?"

I have always disliked hearing things like, "my sister is diabetic" or "my son is ADHD." Just asking...

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Response to Glorfindel (Reply #7)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 12:12 PM

8. It depends on the preferences of the individual.

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Response to HuckleB (Reply #8)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 02:25 PM

13. Thank you! That makes it very clear

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Response to HuckleB (Original post)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 01:59 PM

11. my best friend has an autistic daughter

the video is pretty spot on including the hug thing
her personal space boundaries are pretty well defined

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Response to HuckleB (Original post)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 10:28 PM

16. GoTeamKate: "Stop Making the Conversation Controversial"

http://www.goteamkate.com/1/post/2013/06/stop-making-the-conversation-controversial.html

Stop Making the Conversation Controversial
06/20/2013


We need autism to be a part of the collective conscience. We need people dialoging all the time about autism. Those of us directly involved do that anyway. We need the others; the elusive and rare untouched among us to start talking. And you know what? When we fight within the community and get hung up on the semantics of it all; we scare them away.

I don't wish to diminish a person's right to be called 'autistic' or a 'person with autism' or a "free lovin' hippie" for that matter. You can choose your moniker in my view and you can relax when someone else chooses theirs. People can be afraid to talk about autism because they are afraid to offend someone. For the sake of the conversation could you allow these differences to live together for now? The divide within the community works against us. This isn't news, right?

I understand the power of language. I understand that words and phrases change meaning. I also understand that when you make the conversation controversial people will decide to stay out of it. They don't feel prepared to talk about it. They've heard or seen someone crucified for forgetting to use person-first language or they're timid to enter the conversation.

Now, I am the first one to call out someone for saying something rude or insensitive (on this blog anyway, because I am too chicken to do that in person) but I feel that we are placing this topic so far out of of reach of the average person when we assign strict and ridged rules to the discussion.

If someone is being kind when they approach the topic then they are doing it right in my book.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024324593

Dear 'Daddy' in Seat 16C
Mon Jan 13, 2014, 02:27 PM

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Response to proverbialwisdom (Reply #16)

Tue Apr 29, 2014, 11:08 PM

17. Derp.

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Response to HuckleB (Reply #17)

Thu May 1, 2014, 01:52 AM

19. More derp from the anti-vaccinc crowd.

Disease sucks! Stop promoting it!

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Response to HuckleB (Original post)

Wed Apr 30, 2014, 12:05 AM

18. Does your curiosity and concern extend to what people say to parents of children with autism, too?

http://www.kulturecity.org/why-autism.html

[center][/center]

Why Autism?

It is the fastest growing developmental diagnosis in the world today. The CDC estimates that 1 in 68 children have autism, an increase of 30% since 2010. Out of these children, 50% of them are considered non-verbal. However, 80% of them have IQs that are normal or above normal. Autism affects all socioeconomic statuses and races equally. In 2030, it is estimated that 1 in 3 children might have autism. These children learn and experience everything differently. But that does not make them any less.

The Family and Autism

Living with a child who has autism can have effects on every family member. It is a uniquely shared experience for these families and can affect all aspects of family functioning. On the positive side, it can broaden horizons, increase family members' awareness of their inner strength, enhance family cohesion, and encourage connections to community groups or religious institutions.

On the negative side, the time and financial costs, physical and emotional demands, and logistical complexities associated with raising a child with autism can have far-reaching effects. The impact can be significant, and will depend on severity levels of their ASD, as well as the physical, emotional, and financial wherewithal of the family and the resources that are available to them.

<>

http://thinkingmomsrevolution.com/bless-heart/

Bless Your Heart
Posted on April 29, 2014 by Thinking Moms' Revolution


In Texas, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase “bless her heart” and to feel a pang of sympathy in response. While it may be well-intentioned, the saying is rarely used outside the context of pity or shame.

<>

In the autism world, parents are often confronted with similar well-meaning axioms. They run the gamut from “God gives special kids to special people” or “God only gives you as much as you can handle” or (my personal favorite) “everything happens for a reason.” Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but NONE of these makes me feel better.

Listen, I get that it can be very difficult for those with unaffected or neurotypical children, or no children at all, to figure out what to say when my daughter begins violently scratching me and smacking herself at a playground. I know that I bring a lot of discomfort and baggage with me wherever I go, and it’s hard to know just how to properly communicate sympathy or concern. The instinct is to try to make me feel better about my circumstances and I both understand and appreciate the gesture. I sound sour and truthfully I am but only because people don’t seem to grasp the power of their words.

Because, in all honesty, these expressions only serve to make me angry and defensive. Admittedly, I live in an almost constant state of agitation and anxiety, but these sayings just set me off. And here’s why...

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Response to proverbialwisdom (Reply #18)

Thu May 1, 2014, 07:21 AM

20. This is really excellent! Thanks so much for posting...

I worked with an autistic boy (Psych major) when I was in college. I often wonder how he's doing.

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