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Related: About this forumWhoopi Defends Stephen A. Smith: If You Hit a Man, Don’t Be Surprised if He Hits Back
By Josh Feldman
ESPN host Stephen A. Smith apologized today for his comments about domestic violence, but he also found a defender today in Whoopi Goldberg, who went off on The View today agreeing with the point he was making. Goldberg said that if a woman hits a man and then he hits back, she shouldnt be surprised by it.
Smith had said late last week that women should not to anything to provoke men into striking them. Goldberg agreed with this point and cried, If you hit somebody, you cannot be sure you are not going to get hit back!
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/whoopi-defends-stephen-a-smith-if-you-hit-a-man-dont-be-surprised-if-he-hits-back/
safeinOhio
(33,877 posts)This can be a gray area as some women may be stronger, bigger or more violent that some men. Rhonda Rousey.
Point is, no one should strike another person, or stab or shoot another person. Anger management is for both sexes. I'm a guy and if a woman hits me, I'll turn and walk away if at all possible. If anyone allows their anger to turn into violence they have a problem.
merrily
(45,251 posts)and he hit her "back" without pulling any punches, so to speak?
Doesn't differing size and strength play any role? Proportionality? What about the idea that the correct response to violence is almost always to remove yourself, if you possibly can, without putting yourself or anyone else into even greater danger.
I understand that some victims of domestic violence, regardless of gender, are stronger than their abusers, but were any of the statements involved qualified by stronger and weaker, or was it just about women and men? (Domestic violence exists in some same gender relationships as well.)
And what about putting out the idea that women provoke men into hitting them without a smack down of the person who originated those statements? (Not saying Whoopi didn't smack him down.)
If you count up all the cases of domestic violence in this country in male female situations, how many women have been landed in the hospital or morgue because of it, versus how many males? So, how dangerous are generalized statements that are unqualified, even as to proportionality, and that imply that physical violence against women is okay, if you have alleged been "provoked" into it?
Every male abuser I ever witnessed or heard of thought, in the moment, that he'd been provoked into hitting.
safeinOhio
(33,877 posts)shoots Schwartzenegger because she caught him with the maid?
No he should not hit her for any reason, nor her him, period.
Like Whoopi pointed out, there is provoking him with words and there is provoking him with physical violence.
For me, physical violence can only be used to prevent certain injury from an attacker. Even then, only as a last resort.
merrily
(45,251 posts)Of course, if she shoots him, he may not be able to remove himself from the situation, and her response MAY* be disproportionate, but how about replying to what I actually posted?
With certain abusers, including Swarzenegger when he was in his top shape, hitting can causse more injury than a bullet, especially a bullet from someone who is a bad shot. And, if people are not good at self-control, and most abusers are not, you can never count on them stopping before your face is mush or you are dead.
Crowman1979
(3,844 posts)Bottom Line: She has no point whatsoever.
Tuesday Afternoon
(56,912 posts)merrily
(45,251 posts)I don't always agree with her. She doesn't think there should be an estate tax, either, or any taxes on her phone bill.
Not that those things are in the same class with domestic violence. They are only in the same class of things about which I do not agree with her.
gordianot
(15,462 posts)The advice I gave my son I also gave to my daughter hit back or run. My daughter should do well in both scenarios, hitting back, or running, or in combination.
Response to jamzrockz (Original post)
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safeinOhio
(33,877 posts)Your not a male feminist.
can't wait to see your second post.
Response to safeinOhio (Reply #8)
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safeinOhio
(33,877 posts)from now on I'll treat you like a woman.
merrily
(45,251 posts)safeinOhio
(33,877 posts)Just fulfilling a request.
merrily
(45,251 posts)I think you clearly meant something negative by promising to treat him like a woman.
safeinOhio
(33,877 posts)he asked that women be treated as men are. I assumed he meant it worked both ways. For me, both sexes should be treated equally without regard to gender. I hold doors open for both men and women.
But I hope you are not one of those that hold the door while the next person is 20ft or more away and then forcing them to run to the door.
merrily
(45,251 posts)He (I assume it was a he) just made statements justifying domestic violence on the ground, among others, that women had sought equality. (As if Arnold Swartzenegger punching Shriver would have anything to do with equality anyway.)
merrily
(45,251 posts)jamzrockz
(1,333 posts)Did you mean to say disrespects a man by hitting him or just disrespects a man?
Response to jamzrockz (Reply #12)
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merrily
(45,251 posts)Not every swat by a woman, no matter how weak she is and how strong the male is justifies the male ensuring that she getting her "ass kicked," which was this poster's unqualified statement. And, since he used or, I'm guessing hitting from a woman was not the only form of "disrespect" about which he was posting.
jamzrockz
(1,333 posts)got it wrong because I don't actually think she admits to hitting him. The story I heard is that she spit on him first before he punched her. Not saying i agree with it, but I can see myself reflexively switching when someone spits on me. It's not something I am proud of saying but somethings will do that to me. Kicking me in the balls is another one.
KansDem
(28,498 posts)This scene from "To Kill a Mockingbird" made a profound impression on me since I first saw it decades ago--
Atticus looks like he was going to punch Mr. Ewell but instead stops and looks at him with pity. He then wipes his glasses clean and walks away. Such a reaction requires a strong character and self respect.
Of course, this kind of response doesn't play well in today's violent SYG-based reactions. We love violence on and off the field and we want to see "justice" when someone is dissed. Such insight is the fodder of celebrity "intellectuals" and their "insightful" ejaculate aimed to please their audience of consumers.
Response to jamzrockz (Original post)
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BlueJazz
(25,348 posts)"Get the hell away from me, you sick perverted bastard"
Iggo
(48,195 posts)lululu
(301 posts)I thought the blathering about provoking was like, making him angry, like wearing a short skirt is considered "provoking" rape. Which is, of course, a crazy viewpoint.
However, if provoking is physical violence, sorry, you start it, someone else will finish it. No one gets to assault someone under the assumption there will be no retaliation, I don't care what size or gender anyone is.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)I haven't slapped anyone since then.
The CCC
(463 posts)As my mom used to tell me. You never hit a lady. If she's stupid enough to hit you. She's proved she not a lady. You deck her.