Real Time With Bill Maher: Future Headlines - August 1, 2014 (HBO)

[Garthem]

Taking time off is a good thing!

[Mr. Mustard]

1. More Headlines

John McCain still angry he lost to black man, kicks neighbors lawn jockey.

Peggy Noonan's contract renewed.

White man guns down female manikin for rejecting him.

Tea Party still unsure Medicare is gov't program.

Billionaire having nightmares that someone somewhere has $5 in their pocket.

Mitt Romney agrees to run as Republican presidential nominee for fifth time.

NBC announces Meet the Press with David Gregory to continue, because their three viewers demanded it.

Mo Brooks declares Democrats engaging a war on puppies.

Sarah Palin announces new television show on how to execute animals without leaving your home.

Rand Paul admits he uses curling iron.

Republican party implements new outreach program for minorities & poor people. They'll get fried chicken, water melon and burritos then baffled why people are upset. "It's free food, isn't that what you want" they say.

Southern states outlaw the color blue.

And finally, Michelle Bachmann's husband found with banana up his butt, declares he's fighting banana republics.

[TxVietVet]

2. LMFAO.

Thanks.

[Rhiannon12866]

3. K&R! This was my favorite segment this week!