The Daily Social Distancing Show: Gun Sales Are Up, Jobs Are Down & Dr. Fauci Faces Threats

[Rhiannon12866]

Dr. Anthony Fauci receives security detail, a record 6.6 million Americans file for unemployment, and 3.7 million stock up on guns.

[Aussie105]

1. Welcome, one and all!

Welcome to the devolution of American Society!

Weaponize your defenses and hunker down! Zombie Apocalypse is a walk in the park compared to what is coming!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

2. Yes! Guns will protect us from the virus!

What? They won't?

Never mind.

[Rhiannon12866]

3. I know! How insane is that?!

[Aussie105]

4. Don't you know the script? Try to keep up!

The guns are needed for people. The virus turns them into zombies.

As ammo is expensive, if faced with a large group of MCZs (marauding citizen zombies) aim for the head. Apparently their control center is located in there somewhere. (Not applicable if wearing a MAGA hat.)

(Apologies to any citizens or zombies offended by this post. I'm slowly going stir crazy here.)

[Rhiannon12866]

6. Oh, so am I.

Even the late night segments that I usually post are not available at the usual times and they're doing things entirely differently. But these are pretty surreal times and I'm grateful that they're having new shows at all.

And we get better news from the late night guys that we're getting from those interminable "rallies." I sat through one of them and never again. Today I changed the channel to an episode of CHiPs from 1981 and enjoyed seeing all the old cars instead.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

5. Among the reasons this pandemic is so scary is that every single death is being reported.

I just wish that every single gun death were reported every day.