Favorite sayings from Mom... What were yours?

[rogerballard]

Jumpin Judas Priest

My middle name was Mud

[rogerballard]

1. Jesus Jenny and the Calves got out...

Just so I can get off post 666

[Lochloosa]

2. JCB. my name with all three hollered real loud.

[blaze]

7. Oh, yes. All three names was always trouble!

And they didn't need to be hollered.

[Irish_Dem]

9. Just had a flashback, hearing my mother hollering my brother's three names. nt

[lapucelle]

3. Lord help us and save us...

from Jefferson Davis.

[safeinOhio]

4. Just wait until your dad gets home.

[Irish_Dem]

11. That was a scary one. I wonder if mothers today use that threat?

Dads are much more hands on parents, are more positive in their relationships with the kids, not just the disciplinarians.

[LeftInTX]

18. My mom's fave

I didn't use it on my kids.
It made my mom look weak and ineffectual.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

28. I am so glad my mother never used that.

I've always thought it was despicable.

[brucefan]

5. Jesus,Mary and Joseph!

[Irish_Dem]

10. Yep, that was one for sure....

[dflprincess]

26. I think all Irish mothers use that one

along with "Mother of God!"

[Irish_Dem]

74. Oh yes, I had forgotten that one.

And "for the love of heaven will you kids stop making such a racket.
You would wake the dead."

[Frustratedlady]

6. That ol' rip!

For someone lazy: Useless as teats on a boar.
Jumpin' Jehoshaphat!
You're slower than molasses in January. (Fitting for this week.)

[Zoonart]

8. This too, shall pass.

[cornball 24]

12. "Use your head for more than a hat rack!"

[BlueSpot]

46. That was one of my mom's standards too

I don't think it would have come to mind for this thread so thanks for the flashback.

[cornball 24]

47. You are most welcome. My sister and I are compiling lists of what we

call "Momisms" and "Dadisms". It brings back lots of memories.

[MaryMagdaline]

13. I didn't just fall off the Christmas tree or

I wasn't born yesterday

[Tobin S.]

14. You're cruisin' for a bruisin'!

You'd think my mom was a fan of old timey wrestling.

[elleng]

29. That from my UNCLE to his kids,

and Dad said it occasionally in HUMOR!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

15. You'd forget your head if it wasn't nailed on.

Do you want your face to freeze like that?
There are starving children in India who would love to have those Brussels sprouts.
Don't make me come up there.
What's all the forstyrrelse?? (Norwegian for "disturbance" )
Eat what's in front of you, I'm not running a short order restaurant.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

61. Ha. I got the Starving kids in Africa. But then we

Thought we were SO smart to say "ya mom, name one.". Sounds so horrible now

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

63. I offered to send the starving children all of my Brussels sprouts.

I was told not to be a smart-aleck. And eat my Brussels sprouts.

[rogerballard]

66. Peas...

I got wise at the age of 6, one time only, took a mouth full of peas, carefully spit them into my napkin and asked if I could be excused from the dinner table, went into the half bath just off dining room, took the napkin and peas, threw them in the toilet, flushed and went back to the good stuff. I was never caught but knew better not to do it again.

[WhiteTara]

16. Little by Little,

the birdie builds his nest.

(I've been rather impatient my entire life.)

[pressbox69]

17. You'll sh*t if you eat regular and

up the fat cooks ass for a milkshake.

[FSogol]

19. "I wasn't put here on this earth to entertain you."

Whenever my sister or I said, "I'm bored."

[Alpeduez21]

20. When answering the phone

"Hello?"

"Is, (my sister there)?"

"No she is at the park, school, softball practice." Basically, wherever she was.

"DON'T SAY THAT!!!! What if it's an axe murderer?!"

It's Billy, Mom. It was never an axe murderer.

[frogmarch]

21. Jiminy Christophers!

Also hell's bells.

Strong language for my mom to use.

[Iggo]

22. If you don't vote, don't bitch. (N/t)

[Iggo]

23. You can't wear that. People will think you're an orphan. (n/t)

[Laura PourMeADrink]

64. You look like a umbangi

[Iggo]

24. Jesus Murphy! (n/t)

[Sanity Claws]

25. If he jumped off a bridge, would you?

He is of course the friend who was allowed to do something that I was not.

[Wwcd]

27. "Sweep your own front steps"

Mom 🍃

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

30. She'd threaten to

smack us into the middle of next week.

That always fascinated me, but once she'd issued that threat I wasn't quite willing to find out how that would feel.

[rogerballard]

51. I got that as well...

or "watch your mouth/ tone mister or you wont sit down for a week"

[applegrove]

31. "I am mad about geography" "Daisy, Daisy, tell me your answer true, I'm

have crazy over the love of you".

[tblue37]

32. "Well, I'll be go to hell!" nt

[greymattermom]

33. Dad will be home

when his car comes down the driveway.

[NanceGreggs]

34. My mom always told us not to do certain things

… she thought were dangerous because “you’ll fall down, break your leg, and poke your eye out”.

For some reason (known only to my mother) these three things invariably happened simultaneously.

When my friend, Lynn, actually did fall and break her leg, my mother always looked at her differently – I think she was trying to figure out which eye was the fake one.

[MLAA]

40. LOL!

[OregonBlue]

35. Bessie, Mary, Jackie, Mary, Bes, Jack...you girls get in here. She would just get so flustered

with all us teenage girls she would make us all come and then point at the one she was really pissed at. Then she's say "YOU stay here and the other two go think about what your sister did wrong this time".

[AzureCrest]

36. "You make me mad enough to chew nails and spit tacks".

[CincyDem]

37. Never insult someone who is going to handle your food out of your sight. bad move. n/t

[rogerballard]

57. I was a waiter for 30 years...

I will leave it at that ...

[sprinkleeninow]

38. "It's not the clothes you wear, it's how you are on the inside."

[A-Schwarzenegger]

39. "It's not what you say, it's your tone of voice."

[Beartracks]

60. Yessssss.

Or, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it."

I did hear that a lot!

=========

[A-Schwarzenegger]

65. That sounds familiar, too.

[MLAA]

41. Full as a tic and brown as a berry.

My grandma would say “A whistling woman and a cackling hen never did come to a very good end”

[Wellstone ruled]

42. You ain't leaving this house with that on!

[redstateblues]

43. Theres worse things than being alone

[Ohiogal]

44. "What is your feeble trouble"?

Whenever I did something dumb.

[TlalocW]

45. Well, I guess you know what you're doing

Not really said passive-aggressively, but when discussing what you were planning on doing - like course of study in college, travel plans, etc. if she thought you had a handle on things, she would say that.

TlalocW

[Cartoonist]

48. My mom's name is Jean

Whenever one of us kids would say "I'm hungry" or "I'm thirsty" she would say "I'm Jean, how do you do?"

She kept all of us fed and hydrated.

[rogerballard]

49. That was my Moms name as well...

She was born in 1922, she had a few classics.

[fairfaxvadem]

50. That Son of a Sea Cook!!

We were always puzzled by that one. Her way of trying not to swear. But she’d slip a few times now and again. Dad was a fan of flipping off shitty drivers and telling us to not A/C the whole neighborhood and stop slamming the damn door on our way out.

And always, always: “Because I said so.” This constant injustice contributed heavily to my rebellious streak.

And me not being a morning person, my mom would torment me coming into my room, open the blinds and say, after who knows how much coffee, “Rise and Shine!” Ever since, I’ve never liked morning people, hahahaha!

[RandySF]

52. "Will you turn that news off. It's Christmas Eve"

[mitch96]

53. This is gonna be a beating you'll never forget.....

I forgot them all... especially after I was taller than her... I just laughed.....
She loved politicians.. She said they all had the same line.. "vote for me, the hell with you!"
There were a bunch of "salty" ones also....
m

[KT2000]

54. funnier than a rubber crotch!

there were others that I shouldn't repeat. She did teach me how to swear properly - something she learned in finishing school.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

55. He/she doesn't know shit from shinola.

He wouldn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

[rogerballard]

56. Totally forgot about that one !

Mom used that all the time.

[flor-de-jasmim]

58. THere's more than one way to skin a cat...

WAit til your Dad gets home. We laugh now about the time she yelled, "Get me the belt!" and I said I wouldn't, since she'd just belt me with it. She says that was the day she knew the jig was up.

THen there was "When you get your own place, you can make the rules."

AH, and classic, altho it was only said once. I was 13 and had braces. My Dad was about to hit me on or near my mouth. My mom shouted, "Dear, don't forget the braces cost $1400!"

[rogerballard]

59. Or, as long as you are living under my roof...

My Mom knew the jig was up when she grabbed a switch off the tree by the back door, I grabbed it threw it to the ground and walked away.

[Beartracks]

62. "Sheesh manitly." Instead of just plain "sheesh."

I Googled it just now, not really sure how to spell it, and can't find anything like it.

=====

[DonCoquixote]

67. the masses are asses

and boy was she right

[rogerballard]

68. Bless your Mom...

She was right...

[rogerballard]

69. glutton for punishment...

I was not a bad kid... Mom would say this to keep 6 children in line.

[VOX]

70. The classic: "You just take, take, take, and never give."

"Always thinking about yourself, me, me, me. Try thinking about others for awhile. We'd ALL love to just sit on our duffs all day, but there's work to be done, my friend."

"Yes, Mom." (As my mind drifts to thoughts of a certain girl in French class, while I rake up the leaves in the backyard.)

[Glorfindel]

71. "Well, to hell with the devil!" because it sounds like cursing, but really isn't.

"That's exactly where he belongs, isn't it?" (innocently fluttering her eyelashes).
"If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find it at the end of your arm."
"A promise made is a debt unpaid." (She was a great fan of Robert Service's poems.)

[CanSocDem]

72. Dinna tell your mither...

...how to sook eggs.

.

[Little Star]

73. Your father may be the head of the house but...

I'm the neck that turns the head.

I think that might have been her own original because I've never heard anyone else say it.

[Soylent Henry]

75. "Start running, Henry!"

"After a hundred feet, my marksmanship ain't very good!"

[markbark]

76. Two Favorites:

"Sh!t in one hand and wish in the other -- see which gets filled faster"

...and often said to me and my sister when we at each other's throats:

"I'm gonna lock both of you in a room and give first aid to the survivor!"

[unblock]

77. voting is just like driving a car: (d) to go forward, (r) to go backwards!

[mitch96]

83. I like it!!!

Im gonna steal that one if you don't mind...
m

[Faux pas]

78. "You're gonna have

fun whether you want to or not!" "Just when I'm bragging about you guys, you go and screw it up."

[LWolf]

79. "Because I said so."

and "Do as I say, not as I do."

and "Get your nose out of that book and go outside and play."

[Still Blue in PDX]

80. The devil's beating his wife (during a thunderstorm).

You want me to get that yardstick? -or- You want a lickin'?

Hell's bells!

He was behind the door when God was passing out the brains.

[Callmecrazy]

81. "You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle."

[red dog 1]

82. If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?

(I never had an answer for that one)

[mercuryblues]

84. You would be late for your own funeral

drag your ass.

[hibbing]

85. Finish that, there's not enough to save

Always with dinner if something leftover.


Peace

[Awsi Dooger]

86. "My word!"

Such an awesome smile when she said that. I'll always picture it. It was reserved for something that really surprised her for the good.

I had a towel etched with those words and keep it in my dresser drawer.

[rogerballard]

87. If wishes were horses...

We would all take a ride..

[steve2470]

88. "I didn't know him from ADAM'S HOUSECAT!" haha

Always loved that one!

[steve2470]

89. "You can't please Mary with a pleasing machine!" haha

also loved that one!

[LNM]

90. If you two don't knock it off

I'll knock your heads together!

[rogerballard]

91. Must of been...

The two youngest boys... I heard that one...

[IrishEyes]

92. "To each his own as I always say"

It was never just to each his own. She always added "as I always say".

Also, she liked to say "Go soak your head" when she was mad at somebody. She wouldn't say it directly to the person but would say something like "Ronald Reagan can go soak his head".

[PasadenaTrudy]

93. Gadzooks!

Heavens to Betsy! Holy Smokes! What a load of hooey! My mom was born in 1922 and grew up in Waukegan, Ill.

[mythology]

94. There are two (or three depending on how you count)

The first, upon me complaining something hurt "well stop doing it then" She's a nurse and I'm accident prone, sympathy was in short supply.

The second (and possibly third, but they are related) "you don't have to have a penis (or uterus) to do that 'insert some stereotypically gendered thing like cook, do laundry, change the oil on your car'.

Oh and this wasn't so much a regular saying, but her description of childbirth helped put me off ever having kids "It's like shoving a wet saint bernard through a cat door."