Question came to me at work

[Wolf Frankula]

If someone hits you with a cantaloupe is that melonious assault?

Wolf

[Marie Marie]

1. If you cantaloupe, do you remain single or just live together.

[underpants]

5. Oh

That hurt

[Marie Marie]

7. Yeaaahh - sorry about that.

That was kind of painful.

[NotASurfer]

2. Whack 'em back with a zucchini

That usually squashes the attack

[unblock]

4. right! and use grape jelly if you want to sqwelch the attack instead!

[Xipe Totec]

3. Perhaps it was melon colic. Ask for a honeydew over.

[underpants]

6. Maybe it's a management trick to get you to produce more

Produce Karl! Produce!