I missed you

[syringis]

Hello my friends. I abandoned you, against my will, without explanation

Last weeks were a bit hard.

First of all, many thanks to all who sent me a PM. I'll answer them soon.

Well, I'm still dealing with that f***ing phlebitis but it was not the only reason that kept me away from DU.

Someone I know, lost his son. It is not clear if it was an accident or a suicide. The kid was 18.

He is going through hell, his family life is shattered as his wife is putting the blame on him, and their other son is very disturbed and had to be hospitalized because of his risky behaviour.

He was counting on me even though he's not really a close friend. His friends (so called more like) turned their back on him I didn't have the heart to let him down.

By the way, I couldn't help much. I could only listen to him and bring him some moral comfort.

I took a step back, though, because it became very stressful as he wanted me to take a stand on his relationship issues, which is totally out of the question, even if he had been a very close friend.

He didn't like it, he is mad at me, pretending everyone's letting him down, though, I don't see what more I can do.
I don't blame him, he's in a lot of pain. I will continue to support him but I advised him to turn to a professional who can better help him.

That's basically the story, I can't give all the details but it became really too heavy to bear. Still, I feel guilty.

[Docreed2003]

1. Welcome back dear syringis

So sorry to hear of your struggles...there are no words that can adequately express my sorrow for what you must be gong through.

Know that you have been missed, and seeing your post brought a little bit of sunshine to this rainy Memorial Day!

[syringis]

5. Hi Docreed

Thank you very much

I have lost the thread of the trumpian tribulations... I have to update myself.

On the bright side, it is relaxing to not to hear about the walking disaster who's squatting the WH...

[Docreed2003]

7. I hear you...

I've spent the majority of the weekend away from th madness on a couples trip with my wife and brother in law and his wife...a break from this isn't a bad thing! Now I'm playing catch up!

[TexasProgresive]

2. You have been missed, syringis. I was thinking about you last night.

I am so sorry about the effing phlebitis and hoping that gets better soon. As to your friend it is good that you are there for him even though there is not much you can do. He and his family are in my heart. This is very tough. A family I know had a sudden death that is suspicious as well and they don't want to talk about it. How can the grieve?

[syringis]

8. Hi TexasProgressive

Thank you very much

In fact, it is not really a friend. An acquaintance more like. I couldn't let him down since almost everyone in his inner circle did...

[spooky3]

3. Welcome back. I'm so sorry to hear what

You have been going through. +++++++++

[syringis]

10. Hi Spooky3

Thank you very much

I'm not making you say it !

The problem is, there's not much we can do about it.

[spooky3]

13. Hope coming here will help you feel

a little better.

[syringis]

19. It will

[FakeNoose]

4. Syringis is back!

So happy to hear from you and I hope you are well. Sorry about your friend and the loss of his son. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say, but maybe just listen and hope he finds his own way.

[syringis]

12. Hi FakeNoose

Thank you very much

In fact, it is not really a friend. An acquaintance more like. I couldn't let him down since almost everyone in his inner circle did...

It is far beyond my understanding, how people turn their back so easily on someone when he falls in trouble.

[smirkymonkey]

6. Welcome back syringis!

I am so sorry for what you have been going through but I am so glad to hear from you and that you are back! I know how hard it can be when someone, especially if you are not very close to them, pushes your boundaries like that and demands more than you can give. It must have been very stressful for you, especially with your own problems that you have to deal with.

I will write more to you in my IM.

So glad to hear from you and that you are ok!

[MontanaMama]

9. There you are!

Glad to see you here again syringis. 💕

[syringis]

15. Hi MontanaMama

Thank you very much

It's good to be back

[MontanaMama]

20. You were missed!

Clearly. I’m sorry for the difficult days you’ve had.

[beveeheart]

11. Good to see you again!

[syringis]

16. Hi Beveeheart

Thank you very much

It's good to be back

[justhanginon]

14. Glad to see you back. Always read and enjoy your posts.

[syringis]

17. Hi Justhangigon

Thank you very much

It's good to be back, I really missed DU and DUers

I'll do my best to find some interesting things to post

[irisblue]

18. I am glad you're back.

Don't buy someone elses manipulations.

[syringis]

22. Hi Irisblue

Thank you very much

You are right, but I couldn't help.

[sheshe2]

21. Welcome back syringis.

For what you have been going through...

[syringis]

23. Hi Sheshe2

Thank you very much

[Heartstrings]

24. Welcome back!

Sounds like very stressful times. Think it was a very good thing to take a step back. I do agree it’s time for the professionals to step in. Don’t forget to breathe, and especially to take of yourself!

We’re here for you dear syringis!

[syringis]

35. Hi Heartstring

Thank you very much

I hope he will follow my advice. I'll keep an eye on him and his family without involving myself.

If needed, I will contact their family doctor.

It's good to be back.

I'm touched by the kindness of the DUers

[Honeycombe8]

25. Sounds like yu did the right thing. You are a good friend.

It is when you have hit bottom that you find out who your true friends are. Even though you aren't close, you did hte right thing. I would not have been able to turn my back, either. But assisting w/relationship issues is too much. I agree...professional help is called for. Hope his insurance covers that and his deductible is low.

[syringis]

36. Hi Honeycombe

Thank you very much

I did what I could. I hope he will follow my advice.

[sarge43]

26. Hugs, syringis. So sorry you're going through a rough patch.

One thought: Stop feeling guilty. You did what you could and you gave him good advice. You must take care of yourself first.

That sucks about the phlebitis - nasty condition. Can the doctors do anything?

Now I'll take my nose out of your business and welcome you back to the monkey show. Good to have you back.

[syringis]

37. Hi Sarge43

Thank you very much


You are right. It is typically a case that requires a professional help.


I have a medical treatment for my phlebitis. It is getting better but it is time-consuming about 6 months or so.

[sarge43]

43. Good to hear you and the doctors have a handle on it. n/t

[fierywoman]

27. Dear syringis, I missed you, thought about you, hoped you were OK. I'm very

glad you're back -- sorry you had to be in the middle of so much drama.

[syringis]

38. Hi Fierywoman

Thank you very much

I didn't think it would get me this far.

I feel guilty to have disappeared without a word.

[ailsagirl]

28. I'm so sorry to hear this, syringis

[syringis]

39. Hi Ailsagirl

Thank you very much

It's good to be back

[ailsagirl]

59. Good to have you back!

[Leith]

29. Everyone at DU Missed You

and we're sorry to hear about your troubles.

Welcome back!

[syringis]

40. Hi Leith

Thank you very much

It's good to be back and so warmly welcomed

[Dem_in_Nebr.]

30. I can appreciate the constraints of your friendship.

Being asked to take sides on relationship issues is always a toughy.

Take care in that. and of your self

[syringis]

41. Hi Dem_in_Nebr.

Last edited Mon May 28, 2018, 09:46 PM - Edit history (1)

Thank you very much

Yes is it though to take sides on relationship issues, even in a less tragic context, because no one outside the people concerned knows the real situation.

[drray23]

31. Bienvenue. J'espere que tes soucis ne pesent pas trop.

C'est difficile de gerer ses propres problemes medicaux est aussi avoir a servir de support pour une personne en detresse. Je te souhaite bon courage.

[syringis]

42. Bonjour Drray

Merci, c'est gentil.

J'ai fait ce que j'ai pu mais c'est réellement une situation pourrie. Elle demande une aide de professionnels.

De toutes façons, même en dehors du contexte tragique et même si c'était quelqu'un de plus proche, je ne prendrai jamais parti dans des problèmes aussi personnels et intimes.

Parce que personne en dehors de celles qui sont concernées, ne connaît la situation réelle.

[barbtries]

32. i remember when my daughter died.

it was like i was contagious. but i had one good friend, he took me to the desert to get away, we hiked out at a place called the pinnacles. he said, "I don't know what to say to you."

it was the kindest most loving thing he could have said. i told him it's worth so much to me that you are willing to be next to me right now. i wasn't easy to be near at the time, the pain was overwhelming. i was dysfunctional for a very long time. I went to grief counseling and i wrote a book and after some time got active. time is the greatest healer.

he listened and did not judge. whatever he may have thought he kept to himself. really, this was a gift. others avoided me or said inappropriate things (I believe it was fear or just how extremely uncomfortable the depth of the loss made them, but i don't really know).

thank you for being a friend. it's agonizing that this man and his family cannot come together at this terrible time. so sorry.

also, a book was given to me by my MADD woman. it's called "No Time for Good-byes"
https://www.amazon.com/No-Time-Goodbyes-Coping-Injustice/dp/1878321404/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1527551905&sr=1-2&keywords=%22No+Time+for+Good-bye%22&dpID=41PsqkxbhxL&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch

if they won't seek counseling, which i would very much recommend, this book might be a comfort to them, just knowing they are not alone in this uniquely terrible, worst possible, situation.

[TNNurse]

33. Well, you have certainly been a friend to this person and family.

[syringis]

46. Hi TNNurse

I did the best I could. I hope they will ask for a more efficient help than mine. I can only give a moral support.

They really need a professional help.

[sinkingfeeling]

34. Welcome back. Your friend needs family counseling.

[syringis]

45. Hi Sinkingthefeeling

Thank you very much

It's good to be back

Yes he needs professional help. I hope he will follow my advice. I'm keeping an eye on him and his family.

If needed, I will contact their family doctor.

[PatrickforO]

44. That's tough going.

You probably helped him a lot. Just being there was a good thing.

He might seem mad at you now, but he'll come around. Good friends like you are hard to come by. I'm 59 and have two. One is my wife. So, your friend is one lucky stiff.

[syringis]

47. Hi PatrickforO

I did the best I could.

I don't blame him because he is mad. He is going through hell. Besides his tragic loss, there is an awfull situation with many serious issues that needs a professional help.

In fact, it is not really a friend. An acquaintance more like. I couldn't let him down since almost everyone in his inner circle did...

It is far beyond my understanding, how people turn their back so easily on someone when he falls in trouble, as if it was contagious...

[3catwoman3]

48. May I add my voice to all those saying "Welcome back!"

I know you have been a member here for a relatively short time, yet you have added so much to this community since you came on board. I hope you can tell, from all the enthusiastic responses, how happy we are that you are back.

Your acquaintance most surely needs help from a professional with expertise in this kind of complicated and devastating situation. A sympathetic ear is important, of course, but has its limits.

[syringis]

49. Hi Catwoman

It is so kind, thank you very much

I feel guilty to have disappeared without a word.

I didn't think trying to help someone in pain, would get me this far. I coudn't do much .I'll continue to give him a friendly ear, but he needs a professional help.

[Cha]

50. Aww.. Mahalo for the link to this

from your post on Durham's thread.

So sorry that your friend and his family has to go through all this unbearable pain. At least you were there for him as much as you could be, syringis.

[syringis]

51. Hi Cha

How are you ?

I'm ashamed to have disappeared without a word.

I did what I could. It might bring a little comfort, but only a professional can efficiently help.

[Cha]

52. I think it's

an excellent idea for your friend to seek professional help with the tragic situation he's in. Someone good who's not personally involved.

[Aristus]

53. Welcome back, syringis.

We will always be here for you to come back to...

[syringis]

56. Hi Aristus

Thank you very much.

I'm happy to be back

[Rhiannon12866]

54. I am so sorry for your friend! And that you found yourself in such a tough position.

But you did the right thing - you helped all you could, but he obviously needs more help than even the best friend could provide. I hope he gets the help he needs - and that you're able to mend your relationship in time.

[Ohiya]

55. I missed you.

I'm glad you're back.

[syringis]

57. Hi Ohiya

Thank you very much. I missed you too

[kimbutgar]

58. Glad you see you back

What a nice friend you are!

[syringis]

61. Hi Kim

Thank you very much

[NastyRiffraff]

60. Hi syringis

I know what you mean about feeling guilty, but it sounds like a losing situation. You did what you could, and more than many people would. I hope this person does take your advice and get professional help.

Anyway, welcome back!

[syringis]

62. Hi NastyRiffraff

Thank you very much

[DFW]

63. Re-bienvenue

Je viens de voir ce-là, n'étais au courant de rien, comme d'hab.

Il me semble que tout a été dit. Alors je ne vais répéter rien, seulement dire que ça fait bien de te revoir.

[syringis]

64. Salut DFW

Merci beaucoup

Dans des cas pareils, on ne peut pas faire grand-chose, hélas. C'est du ressort des professionnels.

Et comment ça va du côté de chez toi ? J'espère que tout s'est bien passé pour ton épouse, le 2 mai.

Et le petit-fils ou petite fille ? C'est pour bientôt, j'imagine ?

[DFW]

65. C'est pour le 25 mai meme!

Elle (Maya Lisa) est née vers midi vendredi passé. Tout est allé tellement bien, que ma fille est rentrée à la maison le lendemain. Ma femme est moi sont déscendus dimanche en flèche pour "se présenter." On a déjà spéculé que c'est peut-être la première personne qui passera comme président des États-Unis et chancellière de l'Allemagne quand elle a terminé ses huit années comme Président(e).

Mais elle ne sera d'un age majeur pour commencer tout ça que quand j'ai 104 ans--peu probable que j'aurais l'honneur.

Ma fille a les deux nationalités, et comme citroyen américain, passera au consulat des USA à Frankfurt pour obtenir la nationalité américaine pour sa fille. Comme le père est allemand (et ma fille aussi), la nationalité allemande est automatique. Mais normalement, les consulats des USA ne font pas des problèmes pour donner le "Certificate of Birth of an American Citizen Abroad" si un des parents se présente avec des documents crédibles. Comme ma fille a son passeport et un numéro "Social Security" vérifiable, ça devrait aller. Je dis "devrait" parce que dans l'age de Trump, avec son obsession avec les certificats de naissance, on ne sait jamais.

Avec ma femme, on pense que c'est bien passé. Ces incompétents dans la clinique n'ont toujours pas donné une réponse pour les résultats des biopsies.

[syringis]

66. Felicitations !

Mes meilleurs voeux aux heureux parents et grand-parents de la future Présidente des US et future Chancelière allemande.






Allez, un peu d'ironie...Si le mari de ta fille n'est pas noir, ça devrait aller pour le "Certificate of Birth"

Mais qu'est-ce qu'on a fait au Ciel pour mériter un pareil crétin à la Maison-Blanche ?

[DFW]

67. Je ne sais pas qu'est-ce qu'on a fait

Mais ça devrait être quelque chose de TRÈS méchant!

Le père (ils ne sont pas mariés) est un Allemand avec des cheveux rouges. Européen pur! Il semble plutôt irlandais qu'africain.