derby's Guide on How to Audition for THE BAD GIRLS CLUB on Oxygen

[derby378]

STEP 1

Memorize the following phrases by saying them 100 times each:

"At the end of the day"
"Y'all are a bunch of followers"
"It is what it is"
"INSERT NAME HERE is a fake-ass bitch"
"I need to find some guys with tattoos"
"I am so fucking wasted"

STEP 2

Now that you've memorized your lines, try doing a few combinations:

"At the end of the day, INSERT NAME HERE is a fake-ass bitch"
"Y'all are a bunch of followers; I need to find some guys with tattoos"
"I am so fucking wasted - it is what it is"

STEP 3

Develop an aversion to stepping into the swimming pool generously provided for you by the producer of the show. One way is to have your little brother spray you down with ice-cold water while you are modelling your tiniest bikini.

STEP 4

Buy at least one handbag by either Coach or Louis Vuitton and then brag to other women about how it cost the equivalent of what they make in a year.

STEP 5

Don't let anyone else in the Bad Girls Club learn that your handbag from Step 4 is a fake, made by Vinny Bagadonuts in Brooklyn.

STEP 6

Can you punch out a girl that you just made out with? Read The Hite Report on Female Sexuality and then take a Muay Thai class. Don't take shit from nobody.

STEP 7

Write an essay describing which Circle of Hell in Dante's Inferno you're most likely to wind up in.

STEP 8

What is the next number in this sequence?

1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89...

If you answered Step 8 correctly, you are too smart to be a Bad Girl. Thanks for playing.