My Trump cousin-in-law pulled a new one on me last night

[cyclonefence]

at a family gathering. She believes every conspiracy theory ever hatched, the wackier the better ("those flat-earth people make some good points" and "you shouldn't leave food out because Bigfoot can go through walls, and the scent of the food will draw him to your house&quot as well as the standard Alex Jones disgusting bullshit ("the Newtown CT shootings were a false-flag operation designed to raise opposition to gun rights&quot , so it never occurred to me that an outlandish true story would strike her as false. She does not believe that Elon Musk's Tesla was sent into space. I don't know why she doesn't believe it because her sister gave her the side-eye and she quickly said "but this is not the time to talk about that." I wish I could hear her theories without passion, without any sort of emotion on either side, because I've noticed that other Trumpies I know don't care about logic, but my cousin-in-law seems to have reasonable explanations--well, reasonable to her, anyway--for every nutjob thing she believes.

[genxlib]

1. Well how can you orbit around a flat-earth

Duh!

My sincere sympathy for you having to deal with that. I would probably do permanent brain damage to myself smashing my head against a wall.

[cyclonefence]

2. I did some "research" on the internet

and you're right--it has to do with flat-earth theory. They have a problem with the photos of the Tesla that show a spherical earth in the background.

A more intriguing theory I came across is that the "dummy" in the space suit is actually Elon Musk's murder victim--the perfect murder!

[genxlib]

6. Ah the perfect murder

And it only took a few hundred million dollars and a decade. Such a waste when the car was a 2 seater. It could have been a double murder for the same cost.

I suppose the fact that it was televised to billions of people just shows how genius the plan was.

[yellowdogintexas]

7. #1 reason we know the earth isn't flat:

the cats would have knocked everything off the edges millenia ago

[NightWatcher]

3. is she religious?

Every time I hear from these conspiracy nuts, especially ones with a trump fetish, it turns out that they are very "christian". I think they can believe the most outlandish conspiracy crap because all their life they have been told, and believed, some of the most insane stories ever imagined. A 600 year old man built a boat by hadn't large enough for two of every animal? Sure, if you can fathom that, you'll take it that the world is flat and that shit goes down in pizza shop basements in buildings that don't have a basement. and so on.

Religion rots the brain and makes people into unthinking beings.

[cyclonefence]

4. I don't think she'd call herself religious

but I'm sure she thinks of herself as "spiritual." She does believe that "the Rothschilds" are behind everything she considers nefarious, so she's at least a little anti-semitic. I'm not sure which Rothschilds she means, and I don't think she is, either.

Actually, she probably does believe that Noah could literally build a boat that could transport two of every beast, including dinosaurs; she just wouldn't think that god had anything to do with it.

[TEB]

5. Look as a resistance member

Can we please leave Bigfoot out of this maga shit show. Ok playing my younger brother and my sister in law their right wing nut jobs as well I feel for you.