It takes a lot of balls to

[Floyd R. Turbo]

play golf like I do!

[dameatball]

1. My trouble is that when I USED to play golf, I never had any balls left.

That isn't good.

[cloudbase]

2. You gotta know your ass from a hole in the ground. n/t

[Flaleftist]

3. Amelia Earharts?

[Major Nikon]

4. One beer minimum per hole is always fun

Lose a lot on the back 9

[ProfessorGAC]

5. Lose What?

Your lunch? A beer a hole? Yikes!

I'm an early morning player so we never have beer on the course. Not that there aren't guys that do get beer at 6:30 in the morning. But, some of them might be coming off the night shift, so it's 6 pm to them.

[Major Nikon]

7. Sobriety

[ProfessorGAC]

8. Fair Enough

And that'll happen in a hurry. And think about this. My buddy and i are practically speed golfers. We regularly play 2 hour 15 minute, 18 hole rounds. 9 beers in 68 minutes would make one lose sobriety in a hurry.

[ProfessorGAC]

6. I Know You'll Hate Me For This

But, i haven't bought golf balls in at least a dozen years. I play what i find (except for Nitro, because they're simply too hard a ball for me), and i get rid of more than i lose.

Sunday before last, my regular playing partner was on vacation. So, i played alone. Caught up to a really early morning walker. Decided to create space by ducking into a thicket and came out with 17 golf balls. Gave 6 away, so i took 3 out of my bag and put 14 back.

I don't hit it far, but i hit 'em straight.

[LakeSuperiorView]

9. I'd need a seeing eye caddy.

Have no trouble keeping my head down, but can seldom pick out the ball in flight. I am always asking did anyone see where the hell my ball went?