When the time comes, will you attend Trump's funeral?

[jmowreader]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by DonViejo (a host of the The DU Lounge forum).

Among the acceptable answers are:

No.
Hell no.
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, I'll be on the phone coordinating taco trucks to encircle the church the service will be in.
Only if I have nothing better to do, like getting my toenails painted.
To emcee the two-hour disco swing party outside the White House that's scheduled at the same time as the funeral.
Yes, and I'll bring medical instruments to make sure he's dead.
Yes, I'll be on the rifle squad that fires into the casket with live ammunition, because you can never be too sure about these things
Yes, to perform an act that will garner me both worldwide fame and a criminal record for indecent exposure.
Why certainly, and I'll bring a Komatsu D355A bulldozer, just like the one Marvin Heemeyer used to level the town of Granby, CO, to eradicate any Nazi shrines that may suddenly pop up.
My friends and I will, and every time a speaker mentions Trump's great wealth or how he "made America great again," we'll take a shot of Jack Daniel's. (We'll be carrying pint bottles diluted 1:3 with water; we don't want it to be our funeral too.)
I will attend as a gesture of respect to our fallen hero, but after the service I plan to throw myself off the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge.

[Sanity Claws]

1. If it allows me to be the first

to piss on his grave, maybe.

[brush]

13. Heehee! You beat me to it. I'll make sure to dring a six pack or two beforehand.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Maybe, just to be sure he's dead.

And maybe to water the grass on the grave.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

3. Hell yeah! And I'll wear a red dress!

[Snotcicles]

4. I'll probably to hungover. nt

[CatMor]

5. I'll be playing golf that day.

[RockRaven]

6. Funeral? Hell no. But I'll stop by the grave to leave a urinal cake.

[silverweb]

7. Nope.

I'll be too busy dancing in the street and celebrating.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

8. Bigly attended, biggest in many a moon

[SHRED]

9. No but I'll visit his grave

[Bradshaw3]

10. I'll bring a wooden stake

After what happend to his Hollywood star, his grave will need 24 hour security.

[WhiteTara]

11. If it's open casket. I want to make sure

he's dead.

[randr]

12. It would be a great relief to visit his grave

You never know, if I am close enough and feel the urge, if you know what I mean.

[Va Lefty]

14. I think there will be a huge crowd

simply a matter of giving the people what they want!

[doc03]

15. Only if I can piss on his grave nt

[TomSlick]

16. Depends.

May I bring a wooden stake and a heavy mallet?

[dameatball]

18. Oops....didn't see yours....will delete mine....:)

[jmowreader]

21. Only if you promise to wear lots of silver jewelry and bring garlic

[TomSlick]

22. I don't wear a lot of jewelry.

How about a garland of garlic around my neck?

[jmowreader]

24. You'll have to make an exception for a special occasion

How about this: Go to a craft store like Michaels and visit the jewelry making department. Buy a bunch of silver religious symbols - crosses, stars of David and the like. Try to find some holy water necklace vials. Also get some silver chain, about two feet of it, and a clasp. I am not sure if the metal has to be made of the element silver, or if it just has to be silver in color. Somehow I don't think vampires can tell the difference. Anyway, do your best. Also get a lot of garlic, maybe two pounds of garlic heads.

Put the clasp on one end of the chain. Then start stringing: religious symbol, head of garlic, holy water vial, head of garlic, different religious symbol, head of garlic, and so on and so forth until you run out of either chain or religious symbols. (There's no way you should run out of garlic.) Attach the clasp to the free end. Wear that and you're sure to be protected. as a bonus you'll eat free in Greek restaurants for at least a year after the service.

[Laffy Kat]

19. With bells on. nt

[Hayduke Bomgarte]

20. No, but

I'll be right in the middle of the massive crowds dancing in the streets.

[lpbk2713]

23. I wouldn't even cross the street to attend the asshole's funeral.

And if I saw his procession pass by I would be tempted to moon him.

[Freddie]

25. In the words of Elvis Costello

...And when they finally put you in the ground
I’ll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down

Written to honor Margaret Thatcher but quite appropriate here. (Gotta love the Brits, the week she died so many downloaded this song they made it #1 on the charts)

[DonViejo]

26. Locking....

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