Toivo and Aino jokes
Toivo and Aino are common Finnish names and the jokes are popular amongst Finns and those of Finnish descent.
Toivo and Aino head for the Motor City. When they get across the bridge they see a sign that reads "DETROIT LEFT." So they turn around and go home.
A few years back, on the opening day of deer season, Aino and Toivo went hunting together. Sure enough, as was bound to happen with Aino and Toivo in the same swamp with guns, Aino accidently shot Toivo. Well, Aino jumps into the truck, drives down to the nearest bar and calls the ambulance. Soon, the police, game wardens, fire trucks, paramedics and the ambulance all show up at the scene of the tragedy. The paramedics work frantically on Toivo while a nervous Aino waits nearby. Finally, one of the exhausted paramedics comes over to Aino. "I'm sorry," he says, "We did everything we could. We just couldn't save him." "OH NO!" cries Aino. "My best friend! What will I do? I'm so sorry, Toivo! What could I have done to save you?" "Well," said the paramedic, with a look of disgusted anger on his face, "It would've helped if you hadn't gutted him!"
Lempi took a job with Odovero Construction to paint lines on M28. The first day he painted ten miles. The boss was very impressed. The second day he painted two miles. The boss was a little disappointed. The third day he only painted 500 feet. The boss sat him down and said," Lempi, how come you paint ten miles the first day, two miles the next day, but only 500 feet today?". Lempi replied, "Well boss, each day I get farther and farther away from the paint can".
Eino just got married and he and his wife are driving down to Saginaw for their honeymoon. As they are driving, his wife slides over next to him, and he starts rubbing her leg. She says, "Honey, now that we're married you can go a lot further than that!" So Eino drove all the way to Detroit!
One day, Toivo and Eino were hunting in the woods. Toivo instructed Eino that if he got lost, to fire 3 shots into the air. Eino agreed and they went on their way. After a few hours, Eino had gotten lost. He aims his weapon into the air, fires 3 shots and prays, "Please God, let Toivo see my arrows."
An Italian, a Chippewa Indian and Toivo were hunting together in the Porkies and got lost. After many hours of wandering around trying to find their way back to camp, a genie appeared and said he would grant them each a wish. The Italian answered, "I wish I was back in Kingsford with my family". Poof! He was gone. The Chippewa said,"I wish I was back in Baraga with my tribe". Poof! He was gone. The genie turned to Toivo and asked him what his wish was. Toivo thought about it for a minute and said, "Boy, I really miss those guys, I wish they were back here with me".
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I had a friend who lived way up and west in Michigan's UP, on Lake Gogebic. These types of jokes were heard at every bar on the snowmobile trails!
So here's a Yooper joke, albeit not a Toivo and Aino joke.
These two South Florida game fishermen decide that ice fishing in the UP sounds like something they should try. If it's anything like fishing for Snook and Bonefish on the flats, they're all for it. So they get to the lake in the Yoop and head to the bait shop to get their kit. The old Yooper sets them up with tip-ups, a pop up shack, an auger and all they need. "You had better take one or two of these ice picks as well" says the Yooper. "They come in handy ice fishing."
So the two Floridians head down to the lake. About an hour later they show up at the shop and buy 4 more ice picks.
About 3 hours after that they come back and buy 6 more ice picks. 2 hours later and they buy every ice pick the guy has.
"Well, the fishing must be going pretty good, eh?" asks the Yooper.
"Fishing?!?" says one of the crackers. Hell, we're still trying to get the boat in the water.
:rimshot:
