48 years. 9 months...and now I am a widow
Last edited Mon Oct 29, 2018, 05:47 PM - Edit history (2)
Tues at 2:40 AM my husband woke up with his arm "not feeling connected"..He was fully lucid, able to speak, walk and even move his left arm/hand.. I knew this was probably a stroke, so off we went to the ER.. Got there in less than 5 minutes..
Over the next few hours the symptoms lessened, the scans & tests were ok,,and by noon, we were discussing rehab with the therapist..My husband was pissed that he could not put on his own sock, but was determined to get it all back with therapy..
It was diagnosed a mild ischemic stroke.
We had dodged a bullet....or so we thought
He ordered a hospital lunch, dinner & breakfast, and we were expecting a mid-morning Wednesday release..
He told me to go home & get a rest...
3 hours later a neurologist called and said he had just had a massive bleed in the brain and was being transferred to a more specialized center..
Our two Calif sons were already enroute even though they were expecting something minor, and our Seattle son headed here to drive me to wherever they were transferring Dad.
We ended up at a great facility in Vancouver WA, but nothing anyone could do would reverse the damage..
He struggled valiantly, but died Friday..We were there and he did know it, even though he could not speak.. His right side was not affected and he squeezed our hands and used a thumbs-up..
Both of his parents died from strokes, so I know he would not have wanted to live like they did after their strokes.
It still hurts to not have him here..
Here's a pic of us when we were new & pretty..
= new reply since forum marked as read
I am certain that he was comforted to have you and your family there.
So fast it can happen . Take care
That is truly beautiful.
It is a all-encompassing loss and remember, you are not alone.
How good that you and your sons were at his side at the end.
We have an excellent bereavement group here; feel free to read and post there: https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1234
You were so lucky to have him for over 48 years, though. 
My heartfelt condolences.
And yes, you were beautiful in those days, and I'm sure you and your husband were beautiful at the end, too.
My deepest condolences.
i'm so very sorry for your loss
i love that picture "when we were new and pretty" --a perfect description
The ones that could take away even a small amount of your pain. If I knew them I would give them to you generously.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
You were such a beautiful couple.
So glad you and your/his sons were with him when he passed.
May your memories of the 48+ years carry you through the hours and days when you miss him most.
How lucky you were to have the whole family around, for him to know that you were.
Cherish the memories. You both look so happy..
and thank you for sharing the photo. Looks a lot like my wife and I in the 60s with the beautiful big hair and taper cut for him.
And oh, those happy days at the beach and in the mountains. Carry those memories with you the next few days and weeks....that's how I survived the loss of my parents and best friends through these many years.
Peace be with you and your family.......
You're amazing just to have the composure to write this. Thanksgoodness you have your sons with you now.
You two were a very beautiful couple.
My hubby and I had our 52nd wedding anniversary in Sept. So far, we're doing well health-wise with the exception of trying to cope with lower energy levels.
You have reminded us of the need to plan for the inevitable, so thank you for posting.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Take care.
For you...
For your dear hubby...
Thank you for sharing the beautiful picture.
Strength lies with the ones closest to your heart now...
Not a singer though
I will be sending warm, healing thoughts and wishes your way. I'm sure you know this, but be with your family during this difficult time. Take comfort in each others' presence, and hold each other close. Also, be good to yourselves.
with the loss of my husband.
I hope you are able to find comfort with your family and the many memories you share.
One day at a time; one foot in front of the other...you'll find your peace and your way.
I am so so sorry. 
But you know that you've come to the right place for sympathy and support. That's a lovely photo, thank you for sharing it with us. It sounds like you raised a wonderful family. Hugs to you all...
What an awful blow.
My heart aches.
I can't imagine the pain. If there's anything we can do please let us know.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Sounds like you had one of the great marriages - sustaining for all those years. Thank you so much for including us in this time of such profound grief. I always feel so moved when someone here feels trusting enough to share such a major personal life moment. Many pairs of shoulders here for you to lean against. It’s an honor to be allowed to keep a vigil with you.
You do not mourn alone. As DU’s own Skittles once put it - “someone’s always here.”
I am so sorry and send sympathy to you and your family.
such a beautiful photo of the two of you. May every single good memory of your husband and your life together give you comfort. My sympathy to you, your family and all who knew and loved your husband.
Peace........
...
What a happy and beautiful couple you were together.
I hope your sons are all able to spend some time with you as you adjust to the hole that has just been made in your life.
There is a Bereavement group here at DU in Home and Family. There are quite a few widows who actively post in the group. When you are ready, check it out.
Hugs to all of you.
my heartfelt condolences to you. My heart hurts for your loss; I am glad your 'babies' were there.
Wishing you and your family peace and strength. Good to know you have your boys to rely on.
It is good that you have family to be with you.
What a beautiful couple - and such a lovely photo.
So sorry for your loss.
It's sad you lost your husband. I'm sorry to hear it. Keep your chin up. Hospice has grief counseling that is extraordinary and usually completely free. Respects.
I can't imagine the pain you must be in.
How terribly hard this must be, and will be. My wishes for your peace, and may you find extra love and guidance to help you through.
-- Mal
I have followed your posts for years and your transition from So Cal to the NorthWest.
So very sorry for this loss.
Please know, we are here at DU to listen, share memories and give support.
Tikki
Words are completely inadequate.
Some solace in the fact your husband did not suffer long and had his family with him at the end. Peace to you and your sons.
By the way, you were one good looking young couple.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I wish you strength and peace in this troubling time.
Very sad to read abt. your loss.
Try your best to stay busy if you can!
Take care.
You all must be hurting, but thank goodness you have each other to lean on.
Hugs from a member of your DU community.
My friend SoCalDem, thanks for sharing the story of you and your husband. This is a shocking traumatic experience for you, and it's important that you take all the time you need to grieve. There's no time limit on grieving for your lost loved one, and everyone's grieving time is different. Make each day count and remember the good times.
Sending healing thoughts and prayers your way!
So sorry for your pain.
My deepest condolences to you and your family.
How horrifying to lose someone in the blink of an eye. I hope you and your sons find solace in your memories of your time together.
a comfort for you, and your family, in the difficult days ahead.
It was for me when first my father, then younger brother, then my mother passed.
My parents made it to 53 years before we lost mom. Dad is still around at 91 but not in good shape.
Condolences to you and your family.
And thanks for sharing the photo... what a lovely couple!
xo 
.
.
All the other crap that's going on and now this.
Words ail.
We come back home after his death and the FURNACE IS OUT!!!!!
It's been 60 degrees inside my house since we came home Friday evening
The people who fixed it a few months back will "try" to get someone out tomorrow morning
It's tempting to go into an "I experienced this, too..." but every situation is a different one, and this one is yours. What I can tell you is that it's OK to feel what you're feeling, and no matter what it is, go with it. Don't think you need to hold anything in because it might make others "uncomfortable". Please, please take care of yourself. And it will get better again.
Words are not sufficient, I am so sorry.
So sudden. So devastating, after a full lifetime. I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
I am very sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry. I am glad he was aware that you were with him in the end though.
I love the picture and that he wore a tan suit!
Take care.
I love the photo, it reveals a very happy couple.
Sending you hugs, courage and strength in your difficult time.
What a nice looking couple you were. Time sure flies...
You obviously had a beautiful, happy marriage. Please accept my sincere condolences on your profound loss. I am glad that you have loving sons and more than 48 years of wonderful memories to comfort you.
May he rest in power.
