A jumper cable walks into a bar and says

[kairos12]

" I want a drink." The bartender says, "OK, as long as you don't try and start something!"

[Crutchez_CuiBono]

1. Hahaha.

[unblock]

2. a loose string walks in with an attitude. the bartender says, "are you here to start something?"

the loose string says, "no, i'm a frayed knot."

[panader0]

19. Frayed Knot--the name of a local country band.

[unblock]

20. And an old internet joke from the pre-web days

Rec.humor

[rzemanfl]

3. One jumper cable won't start anything these days.

Years ago, when cars were made of metal you could touch bumpers for the negative.

[rickford66]

4. You could also push one car with another to get it started.

I did it many times with strangers. "Hey buddy, how 'bout a push ?" My 52 Ford Flathead pushed a 59 Chevy automatic up to 20 mph to get it started.

[rzemanfl]

7. Never tried push starting an automatic. Did the Chevy driver just drop it into drive? n/t

[rickford66]

10. From what I remember (back in 1966)

I think he was either in drive or low, probably drive as I pushed because it took a bit to get him going. Can't do this with newer auto trans. The older ones reacted like a standard when you let off the gas and turned the engine. Modern ones just keep rolling. So a push start wont work. Notice how many people in autos are always on the brakes ? I'll stick with my sticks and control my speed with the gas pedal.

[rzemanfl]

13. So the engine was turning over with the key off?

Stick in Florida traffic would make me crazier than I already am.

[rickford66]

14. The rear wheels turn over the engine

Key on or off made no difference. The trans in drive or low was essentially engaged, like a stick with the clutch engaged. Newer auto transmissions are designed different to help gas mileage. When you let off the gas the engine doesn't slow you down. I don't drive an auto, but I guess it engages in low so you can slow the car down hills, otherwise you just sort of free wheel. Yes, driving a stick in stop and go traffic is annoying. I live in a rural area so it hardly bothers me, but when in traffic I just "automatically" do it. The only time I had a problem in traffic, was driving my mother's automatic in Winter and my foot slipped off the brake and I tapped the car ahead of me. No damage, but that could never happen with a stick.

[rzemanfl]

15. If the key was off the car being pushed would never fire, right? I don't know

why this interests me so much.

[rickford66]

16. Correct.

On older cars, leaving the key "on" with the engine not running, could burn the points, so it would be turned on when up to speed or shortly before.

[rzemanfl]

17. Thanks. I didn't think about the points. This was an interesting detour

from the joke. Have a good night.

[rickford66]

18. I sure miss Car Talk.

Good night.

[Iggo]

11. You really had to get them going.

Four guys on foot would not do the trick.

Had to be another car. (Or maybe a very steep downgrade...lol.)

[True Dough]

5. Thanks for the laugh, Kairos

I needed the boost today!

[Taraman]

6. A friend has been drinking too many cocktails made of vodka and brake fluid

but he says he can stop any time.

[kairos12]

8. Very good!

[PJMcK]

9. That was electrifying (n/t)

[akraven]

12. Am I allowed to say

oh shit...………………

Good one kairos12!