*** gets out her staple gun and posts the new rules for DU Lounge Workers ***

[LynneSin]

[gratuitous]

1. It has come to management's attention . . .

It has come to management's attention that some workers are dying while on duty and failing to fall over. This presents many difficulties, not least of which is being able to distinguish deceased workers from those in their habitual work attitude. For some time, management was able to determine that a worker had died by holding a paycheck in front of the employee, but it appears that workers' reflexive grasp for a paycheck survives post-mortem. If you die while on duty, please fall over so that Human Resources can accurately determine the amount of your final paycheck. Workers who die without falling over will not be paid for any time on the day they are found.

[MerryBlooms]

2. Well, that certainly put a harsh on my Friday

I may need and extra shot or three to soldier on.

Cue, Benny Hill salute.

[bluesbassman]

3. I think I may adopt #6 on my own. Pretty reasonable advice.

[mikeytherat]

4. To All Employees: The beatings will continue until morale improves.

mikey_the_rat

[taterguy]

5. As if anyone here ever does any work