This message was self-deleted by its author

[mr_lebowski]

This message was self-deleted by its author (mr_lebowski) on Sun Mar 31, 2019, 09:02 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[tblue37]

1. Heh. I think you just want us to know how cute you were then. nt

[mr_lebowski]

3. Gah ... was afraid it might look that way ... kay, taking pic off the post ...

Thanks, btw

[tblue37]

5. No, no, no--don't remove the picture! This old lady enjoys the eye candy. I was

just teasing you.

(You were adorable, BTW. Are you still?)

[mr_lebowski]

6. Well I'm over twice that age, and not that tan or buff anymore, sadly ...

And I'm not 195 anymore (more like 225, which is a bit heavy for my thin frame), but I still have pretty much all that hair, and only a tiny bit of it is gray. I look pretty good for 52, but ... not like ... 24 ... lol ...

Thanks again.

The fact that your instant reaction was ... what it was ... pretty much tells me what a lot of people would've probably thought, so ... probably better w/o the pic.

I'll admit I may've been trying to sway the judges a teeny bit

[tblue37]

7. We still want the picture back. Put it in a reply rather than the original post, maybe. nt

[mr_lebowski]

8. Well, since you INSIST, lol ...

Mr. L, doing GnR's 'Patience', live from the floor of Yosemite Valley, at 24y.o. trying to charm you out those dang britches

[tblue37]

9. Thanks! Here's a ❤ for you! nt

[mr_lebowski]

10. Back 'atcha Missy :)

Hey, we have matching hearts!

[tblue37]

11. ❤❤❤❤❤! Thanks! nt

[Shrike47]

2. You sure were cute. What the hell happened?

[mr_lebowski]

4. Ummm ... thanks? Lol ...

[demmiblue]

12. Sounds like you were a PUA. n/t

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

13. The first no ought to end it.

I guess I'll go with all men are assholes.

Imagine if you are propositioned by a man and he doesn't believe you when you say no. He turns on the charm and is offended that you don't succumb. Since I'm guessing that you're a basic straight guy, I think you need to think long and hard about this, and perhaps if it's cast this way, getting propositioned by someone you absolutely do not want to sleep with, you might get that it is not the prerogative of the other person to try to persuade you.

No means no.

[mr_lebowski]

14. A firm and obvious 'no' ... I'm totally with ya ...

Last edited Sat Mar 30, 2019, 11:10 PM - Edit history (3)

But believe it or not ... it's not always easy for men to determine if this is a 'I feel like I'm supposed to say no, but I don't REALLY want to' ... or an actual 'I'm uncomfortable and don't want to'.

I ALWAYS erred on the side of caution and respect, I want you to know that. I've ALWAYS only wanted CONSENT my entire life. Enthusiastic consent. Its absolutely what my daddy, as sweet a man as you'd ever hope to meet ... Taught me. Happily enough, it was not ... uncommon.

Fact is ... people DO occasionally play games with 'no' ... for real.

I've played, and it can actually turn out to be kinda fun.

Maybe you've never played that, but ... it does happen.

People can be complicated.

Good Day PO

ON EDIT: Let me make one more thing clear (which I admittedly failed to do, initially ... my bad on that), I'm not talking about a 'we JUST met, and I have no real idea how you feel about me' kinda scenario. You bringing up a guy ... who I'd never be into? That's not what I MEANT. I'm talking a scenario where I've been physical with the person already, and I know we like each other. C'mon now. I'm not THAT guy You wouldn't find THAT guy ... on DU ... I don't think ...

[Polybius]

15. I have never tried to court a female just to sleep with her

Not at 18, not at 25 and not now. Every one I ever tried for I always liked with the intention of potentially dating.

[mr_lebowski]

16. You know, unless a female clearly told me different, I was exactly that way too!

A serial monogamist, I never sought to bed young ladies just to bed them, I did so because I genuinely liked them, always ... unless they made clear to me that they were just looking for some no strings fun. That was not frequent, but it did happen a few times, growing up.

However ... whether your courting, dating, bf/gf, married ... you must gain 'enthusiastic consent' every time, right?

So the 'yes/no' question, in a very practical sense, can come up practically daily, can't it?

[Polybius]

17. I'm not gonna lie to you

There were a few ladies that I asked to hang out, they said they were busy or something. I asked them again, and sometimes the second time asking works for whatever reason.

[mr_lebowski]

18. Sometimes ... things can be a little bit more complicated than they appear on their face ...

That's all I'm really saying.

That ... and the fact that when you get down to it ... we all just want to feel loved ...

I dunno why this old thread got drug up, a random rambling of mine from a very-hungover and lonely morning, but ... whatever.

Peace, man ...