Losing another friend....three in the past two weeks.

[panader0]

Getting old---I need to make some new friends because nearly all of my old
ones are gone.

[bif]

1. Wow. Sorry for you loss(es).

That's gotta hurt.

[DFW]

2. Ugh! Don't start sounding like my grandfather

I always used to visit him regularly when I was in the States while he was alive. No matter what I was doing or where I had to be, TX, West Coast, it didn't matter. If I was in North America, I would stop by New York City to visit him at least twice a year. Luckily my two (then-)small girls were so proud to have a great-grandfather, they liked visiting him, too. That is by no means a given with small children when it comes to 98 year old men who are not so quick to move about the room. But he never lost his wits, ever, and he lived to be 102.

One time, when he was in his late 90s, I called him up to plan a visit. I told him the day that would best fit into our schedule, and asked him if he was free on that day.

His (typical) answer: "Of course I'm free! Everyone else is dead!"

[csziggy]

4. Yeah, when my Mom died the funeral was small

At 97 she had outlived all her friends. The last one died two weeks before she did.

When I was very small we visited my mother's step-grandmother who was 103. She amused all of us kids by complaining that the other residents of the nursing home were "dropping like flies!"

[Moostache]

3. I am very sorry for your losses.

I am only starting the phase of life where things are taken away from us, but nothing to that level yet. Believe that better days still remain because they do and will come in time.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

5. So sorry to hear this.

But yes, you really do need to make new friends, preferably ones that are several decades younger than you are.

[GeoWilliam750]

9. Indeed

Preferably ones that can look after the wine cellar...

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

11. Yes! And help us consume all that wine

before it's too late.

[UTUSN]

6. I get two reactions to my similar reflections about getting old and about others' passing.

Yes, I provoke the reactions with a couple of things I say:

* Replying to anybody's comment about Time: I say, Another day (or week or whatever unit of time) CLOSER to the hole.

* Replying to "How are you?": I say, Short fat and old!1

**************

So the reaction I prefer is LAUGHTER, which happens most of the time. But occasionally I get the responses, "Gosh, don't SAY that!1" and "Why are you doing yourself that way?!1"

[panader0]

7. Just got home from the hospital.

My buddy, an old band mate and kind soul, is dying from cancer of the
esophagus. Down to about 120 lbs, tubes to feed in his gut.
I didn't cry until I left, down the hall and in the elevator.
Is sadness selfish?

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

12. Sadness is not selfish.

Not at all. Of course you feel sad, as you should. He's going through something terrible, and at the end he'll be dead, which sucks.

Perhaps you'll have the kind of wake that involves a lot of laughter, alcohol, and good memories.

[mopinko]

8. my doctor told me that this is the most important part of a happy old age.

keep making friends.

i was just having this conversation w myself last night.
fell in love w someone just in time for him to fall gravely ill. in hospice now, far away, and losing contact.

also lost a sister and a brother-in-law in the last year.

but the people who get super old and stay happy if they make new friends. the ones who end up losing everyone become very depressed.

sorry for your loses. it is hard to watch someone die.
your friend is lucky to have you, and no, it is not selfish to be sad. grief is the last stage of love. stay strong.

[Kali]

10. ...