Have You Ever Wanted to Change Your Name?

The most recent was about a month ago because we are living in Japan.
Name I would have chosen was Shirotami or Kurotami for family and Kasumi the given
Tami is waterfall, shiro = white, kuro = black
Kasumi is mist
I didn't because Kasumi is a girl's name.I love mists

My parents were without a child for four years in their marriage.

They made a devotion to St. Gerard Majella that if my mother ever bore a child he would be named after him, either Gerald or Geraldine.

So it came to pass that my mother became pregnant and had a firstborn son (me). And they kept their promise and named me Gerard.

But my father wanted to pass his name to a son. When their third child was born (a male) he was named after my father (Victor).

I have always envied my brother for this privilege, and felt cheated that I was the one who paid for their devotion.

I have always resented this, ever since I can remember having the faculty to remember.

At least you weren't named "I will laugh."

My first, middle and last names are lovely and they work well together. My mom did a job picking my first name out. I'm not sure if I want to change it when I get married.

Not so much in English, though.

I'm not so sure how requisite a name change is when getting married. It seems like it used to be a given. Then there was a period of hyphenated names. Now, it's common place to meet married women who keep their last names.

My parents gave all of us kids very Irish names. It may not matter to my future husband. Personally, I'm not a big fan of hyphenated names. Of course, it possible that my future husband might have a great last name.

for a long time now.

I got married in 1980, didn't change my name, and I'm astonished that women still do that. Whatsisname Bezos' new wife promptly changed her name, and I'm rather horrified.

Hillary Rodham initially didn't change her surname, but apparently that impacted Bill's political career, so she knuckled under and made the change. Personally, I respect her a lot less for that. Women married to prominent men need to hang on to their own identities.

Or, as soon as men change their names I'll go along with it.

Seems like a mark of ownership to me. And I might just change my last name to my wife's if she has a cool last name.

Or you might have two names that would combine well, like (I am totally making this up) Upjohn and Lindquist and you go for UpQuist as a combined surname. You get the idea.

Sometimes I'll see a surname that (to me at least) is cringe worthy, and then I get the push to change the surname. But as many guys have those awful last names.

And yes, I do feel as though the changing of the last name feels at least a bit like ownership. As old as I am (70, can you believe? Yes, I do look a lot younger, don't I?) I've always been at the very least puzzled by women changing their names. I remember as a very young child, no older than five, wondering what it was like for my mother to change her name. She was married in 1941, when the notion of not changing the name was simply unthinkable. So I certainly don't judge her. But I still wonder what it felt like. That said, both of my sisters changed their names each time they got married, twice each. My younger sister married the second time in about 1991, so she shouldn't have been captive to the conventional name change thing. Although I suspect her new husband (a great guy, I really liked him) probably wouldn't have been at all happy had she kept her previous surname, which was her first husband's surname, and going back to her original name would have been somewhat more complicated.

All the more reason never to change your last name in the first place.

At this point in my life I cannot imagine I will ever remarry. But of course, stranger things have happened. But I can assure all of you here, there is no way on god's green earth I will ever be anyone other than "Poindexter Oglethorpe".

I'm not sure what we would have done if we'd had children. Hyphenation wouldn't have worked so well: she had a long surname, and neither of our surnames is anything like phonetically spelled when pronounced in English.

Let's say I married a man with the surname Smith. Our two sons in real life got four names.

One was (and this is not the actual names) Robert Steven Oglethorpe Smith, the other was Matthew Edward Oglethorpe Smith. In other words, two normal names, then my surname as a second middle name, and his surname as their legal surname. Not hyphenated. Just two middle names. Over the years both of them have pretty much stopped using "Oglethorpe", because filling out paperwork with the four names is a bit tedious. I wish they'd use it all the time, but not a biggie.

And I constantly remind people that so many people marry, have a kid or so, divorce, then remarry. And then someone invariably has a different last name, and everyone is just fine with that, no matter what the woman chooses to do about her last name.

I wish he would have gone Frances Mary instead of Mary Frances (sounds like a nun....) but
Ive never changed my last name.

In my late teens. I grew up and never changed it. My chosen name would have been an embarrassment.

It’s the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on.

I’m Ginger Highland.

Actually, that's not so bad.

Hmmmm

That is the best name, ever.

I'll try to live up to it.

Kind of has a nice ring to it, I suppose. I shall add it to my restaurant name rotation.

Other occasional AKAs:

Clarice
Anastasia
Tabitha

Mesopotamia (reserved for baristas who have irritated me and telemarketers)

Hillary (Only at Barnes and Noble. She and I use the same fake phone number for their loyalty program. I assume she pays the annual fee.)

I guess that kinda works. It’s going to take an epic amount of makeup to make my nerdy ass look fabulous, however.

but what to? The world didn't need another John, or Steven. In the end I decided to keep it.

-- I am reminded of an old joke:

A man goes to court to change his name.
Judge: What's your name?
Man: Joe Shit.
Judge: I see. Well, what to you want to change it to?
Man: Bill.



.

I hated my given name because I was teased mercilessly about it, so I changed it to 'Tom'. I still have a couple of my first books with 'TOM' very boldly scribbled in them.

My brother put a stop to all that and started calling me Brother Buzz. Only my oldest friends and family still call me Brother Buzz, or Brother, or Buzz. I'm cool with Brother Buzz, and grew to accept my given name, but secretly, I still like 'Tom'.

I was about twenty-three, I think. I changed my last name. I kept my first name and took my paternal grandmother's maiden name as my middle name because I didn't have one. There were a couple of reasons, but mostly because I didn't feel close to my father and he was a union-busting executive V.P. of a southern trade organization and I didn't want the association. I had moved from Memphis to St. Louis to Denver and wanted to leave the family name behind. I never regretted it. It was also pretty easy to do and I did it myself w/o an attorney.

see #20 below.

I wish my cousin would change his name.

He's an a**hole and I don't anyone to know we're related.

… to my maternal last name. My father left early - the split was only because they were too young, they otherwise always got along great - so, I didn't really know my father that well and wanted the last name of my mom and grandparents, where I went to live. My mom discouraged the idea, saying that's who you are and that's your father. Decades later, I learned more about my father: he married a woman and they had children. His adult children told me what a wonderful father he was... I never knew. He wasn't to me, but it was nice to learn he was for others. I don't think we would have found each other - on Facebook - if I didn't have the name... Life takes strange turns...

I sit way in the back so they have to yell it really loud. Then I get to see everyone stair at stare at me. I'm an old White guy.

I'm 60. I thought I'd put the "Ó" back on my Irish name, but I'm also giving serious consideration to dropping it altogether and adopting my beloved mother's German family name to honor her. My old man once told me that "everything was fine" until I came along, so I feel no attachment.

I'm an orphan now.

and after my divorce.

My first name (Jacqueline) was after my Dad's sister
My middle name (Isamay) was after my Dad's mother

I dropped my maiden name AND my married name and became Jacqueline Isamay legally. I thought it was fitting that my name was in honor of 3 generations of women, and no male was attached to it. I've never regretted it.

I have a somewhat uncommon name, but my family never used it, as my childhood nickname was "Sis". That was pretty much what I went by until between fifth and sixth grade we moved from the close-knit city neighborhood where I'd been growing up, to a small company town just outside the radius of the suburbs.

No one there knew my nickname and of course the school started right out calling me by my legal name. I was mercilessly bullied for any number of reasons (outsider in a small conservative community) and one thing the bullies did was to mock my uncommon name. They twisted it and rhymed it with opprobrious epithets and generally made me hate it.

When I grew a bit older I decided to change not the name, but the pronunciation.

reminiscently,
Bright

The bullies had no end of fun with my name: 'Guy'. And I bet you can guess what every single bully ever called me. When I was in my late 20s, a baggage handler at the airport decided to alter my name! I guess there is no escaping the teasing, no matter how old I am.

1922. Shocking.

She married Mr Hi. They divorced immediately. She returned to her home town and took her maiden so my dad went from L. Hi to L. Murphy. She then married Mr Ha and he adopted my dad and we became L. Ha’s family. When I married I changed my middle name to Ha and took my spouses for last name.

No more name changes here. When I applied for my passport the question on fathers name at his birth became very complicated.

How in the world does Richard become Dick?
So when I changed school districts after Jr. High I changed over to my given first name, John.
Oh my...another penile reference. (think urinals)
That one is still with me for all legal use.

Now I have several names determined by who I'm hanging with.

Yes. When I was a kid I couldn’t stand my first name.

For some years as a young adult, I went by another name. But eventually I went back to my first name. I have made peace with it now.

I always felt like if I ever married, I wouldn’t want to change my name to my husband’s. Well, that was no problem as I never married. But sometimes I have thought of changing my last name because it’s really my father’s name, I mean his side of the family, and I wasn’t close to him.

At this age, I don’t think I’ll bother to do it, but I have thought that if I did I would go with something similar to the way Native Americans used to have names. Something in nature. I mean like Firstname Mockingbird or something like that.

I am named for my paternal grandfather and the name is somewhat unusual. At one time in my life I worked as a with a very large inventory of expensive parts and all paperwork required a full legal signature...which led to questions about my name quite often since there was a shitload of paperwork. I actually changed my legal signature to my first and middle initial and my last name and that is now on all my ID with the exception of my SS card which remembers Grandpa, who, in spite an unusual first name was one Hell of a man.

Even though I am not "of" the street and have no CB.

White Chocolate and/or HIPAA Violation for my street names.

And the Screaming Lemur for my CB Handle.

TlalocW

it was the only name given to me so I was stuck. What are parents thinking when they burden their kids with "unique" misspelled names? I had to spend my childhood explaining it. I was sick of it by the time I was in Kindergarten and dreaded to be asked "what is your name? I'd answer, just to be told "WHAT?!?!?!"

And my last name...my father stopped being part of my life before I became a toddler, so there is no connection there.

I'm still considering changing mine. The only reason I don't is the hassle it will cause with all the legal records.

So way back in elementary, I went to school with a girl named 'Orphie'. She actually lived next door to me. She was adopted, so you can imagine the connotation. Well, as soon as she came of age, she changed it to 'Michelle'.

You really have to wonder at adoptive parents naming their child 'Orphie'. Maybe it was some sort of family name. Who knows? Whatever the reason, it was a terrible choice.

(I now live very far away from where I grew up)

My mother and step-father asked me if I would want to change my name to his since I was starting a new school (private, christian school). I said I did not want to but they did it anyway. For 4 years of high school I had to use his name. I graduated, left home 3 months later and immediately went and got my SS and Driver's license put back in my real name.

Fuck that mother fucker.

I mean, what was the rationale behind the change in the first place? If you didn't want to change it to begin with, why change it?

Doesn't make sense.

They didn't really care if I wanted to or not. He just wanted to avoid someone accidentally calling him Mr. (my real last name) at a school function. He is a vain and narcissistic piece of shit and I will laugh when I finally hear he's died.

Yes, that is really petty. What an asshole!

but the psychological abuse is still a work in progress. I worry that even his death won't fix it but maybe it will help.


Other than that, I'm a happy, go-lucky fella!

to overcome that kind of torment and end up stronger

fictional spy Harry Palmer is dismayed by his cover name for an operation in Germany - "Edmund Dorf." He fancies himself more of a "Rock Hunter" sort.

He was tough though... after drinking a few quartz he'd bauxite Australians at once.

$

for the occasional nugget!

except they did that shit to me a bit earlier. You can believe that minute I was on my own I made sure that any and all paperwork did not include stepfucker’s name in any form.

Yep, you know what's up. I wish nobody had to.

Because few could pronounce my long native name and even fewer could remember it.

So I changed it to a much shorter version and it was no cost during the citizenship process.

I was 30 years old.

They say, "That sounds like a dessert." Since it has pleasant connotations, I'll keep it.

I happen to be the only person in this country with that specific name, which pleases me even more.

By the time I was in my mid twenties I knew I'd never change my surname if I got married. And when I did get married, I didn't change it. That was in 1980. About ten years ago when a niece was getting married I asked her if she'd be changing her name, and she said, "Of course! It's so much easier!" She was divorced within five years and has gone back to her original name.

And, there is zero problem with having a different last name from your spouse or children, trust me. Once and only once in over 25 years of marriage (I've been divorced for over a decade now) was the different last name a small problem. Here's the story. We'd eaten out and my husband left his credit card in the restaurant. He called them the next day when he realized it was missing. They had it, and he said he'd ask his wife to pick it up. When I got there, they understandably wanted to see ID, and of course mine all had my name and not his last name. But then I remembered I had my check book with me (remember them? They can really come in handy) and it had both full names on it plus our address, which was also on my DL. Problem solved, they gave me the credit card.

Meanwhile, I never had problems traveling overseas or taking the kids to a doctor's office or anything like that. And no, we did not hyphenate their names, which strikes me as unwieldy and I'm surprised as many people do that as do.

I'm named after my mother's best friend.

That caused all kinds of chaos for years after we married almost 42 years ago. Aside from confusing the IRS, the Social Security Administration, and various professionals, all kinds of relatives from my father to now nieces and nephews can't handle that I don't use my husband's surname.

Even today, at an office, there was confusion since our names are different!

My first and middle name are fine and I've never had any objection to them, so overall I'm good with what my parents chose to call me.

My first name is Martha, and I have never liked. Stodgy and not elegant, IMO.

It seems that in books, movies, plays, etc, when a cranky old lady character is needed, she is often named Martha. The worst occurrence I ever saw of this was an advertisement for Colace, which is a stool softener. Years ago, on the back page of a medical journal, there was a full page ad showing a very pinched-face little old lady who looked a lot like Ruth Buzzie’s character on Laugh-In, sitting on a high wooden stool, scowling angrily. The pitch for the product was, “Give Aunt Martha Colace in the AM for a BM in the PM.” Ha, ha, ha. I can still see this ad, an this dates back to the early 1970s when I was in nursing school.

My own last name is Ball. Lots of athletic jokes when I was growing up, which weren’t all that bad, although they’d get old really quick. The anatomical ones were tough to take. In 8th grade home room, there was a really jerky guy a couple of seats behind me. Every morning, he would leer at me and snicker, “Hiya, Ball - How’re they hangin’?” His buddies would guffaw and hoot. I dreaded walking into home room. On day, after much mental rehearsal, I stared hm down and replied, “Fine thanks. How are yours?” His buddies laughed even harder at my riposte, and he never said it again. These days, he’d probably get dinged for sexual harassment, but this was about 1963, so I didn’t even think about telling anyone.

I love my middle name. When I joined the Air Force nurse corps, I gave serious thought to using it, as I thought Lieutenant Elliott sounded ever so much more distinctive that Lieutenant Ball, but I figured somehow my father would find out and be hurt by it, so I chickened out.

Were I picking my own name, I would be Kathleen or Caitlin McGuire.

My screen name gives me the chance to be called Cat, which is as close as I will get.

My parents told me that I should say I shared my name with the first African American astronaut in space: Guy Bluford. Well, whoop-dee-doo! Like bullies are going to be silenced by that one. Still, it is kind of cool. I guess you have to stop giving a damn what the bullies think because...they're bullies.

...savor, more than 50years later.

When I was a kid I often wanted to change it to something a little more glamorous, but I never did.

baseball player; this means any Google search results that are actually me are so many pages deep that anyone looking for me would lose interest. It’s good to have a boring name I guess.

so there are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of people with the same name - which does make me harder to find!

I swear, people who know me WELL will sometimes call me by my last name.

But my original first and last name sounded very similar to a redneck insult, and though I liked the name fine when I was little I had to learn to not give a damn.

My given names, first-middle-last, is 26 letters long. It was a lot of name for a little kid. I didn’t like having the first name of Jennifer...there were SO many of us in the 60’s and 70’s it seemed. My parents called me Jenny and so did close friends but when I got older, I grew into Jennifer and didn’t welcome the nickname Jenny at all....it felt way too personal....and still does. In fact, my husband of 25 years just started to sneak Jenny into his personal lexicon which feels so weird to me. I changed my last name when I got married...and wish I hadn’t. It was a big deal to my then fiancé and now husband...it seemed like an unreasonable request to me at the time...to expect someone to just drop their last name. We work together now in a business that we own and I use my maiden name at work because I don’t want to be known as just the wife...I want to be recognized as an individual in my own right. This is a very interesting thread!