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Tue May 28, 2019, 12:47 PM

A silent thread for those of us with no ass

Without suspenders and even if my belt is as tight as can be, my pants and underwear will be down by my ankles after walking a few feet. Even with suspenders on, my underwear slides down and bunch up. Diving into a pool head first is only done when no one but maybe my wife is around. Too many instances of my trunks coming off when I hit the water to risk doing that when others are present.

This wasn't much of a problem when I was decades younger and skinny to the point my hip bones stuck out so a tightened belt above the hip bones kept my pants up. Same with swimming trunks that had a string.

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Arrow 16 replies Author Time Post
Reply A silent thread for those of us with no ass (Original post)
Kaleva May 2019 OP
htuttle May 2019 #1
Shrike47 May 2019 #2
Tikki May 2019 #3
Floyd R. Turbo May 2019 #4
tymorial May 2019 #5
lunasun May 2019 #6
Yonnie3 May 2019 #7
The Velveteen Ocelot May 2019 #8
Skittles May 2019 #9
csziggy May 2019 #10
hunter May 2019 #15
csziggy May 2019 #16
flotsam May 2019 #11
Harker May 2019 #12
3catwoman3 May 2019 #13
ProudLib72 May 2019 #14

Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 12:49 PM

1. Lost my ass about 8-9 years ago. One day, I woke up and it was just gone.

In Remembrance.

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Response to htuttle (Reply #1)

Tue May 28, 2019, 12:53 PM

2. It ran off with my waist, I suspect. Gone but not forgotten...

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 12:54 PM

3. Me here..

No hips, no ass..just a stick walking.

And most of the jeans out today are for curvy girls so jeans often look like
Jodhpurs when I try them on.

Tikki

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 12:54 PM

4. I haven't had to deal with an ass since retiring!

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 01:05 PM

5. Lol. Too funny. I sympathize

Here is to the assless.

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 01:06 PM

6. I can not lie

https://m.
This is the DU member formerly known as lunasun.

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 01:13 PM

7. You aren't the only one

Suspenders are a necessity. I also rediscovered bibb overalls.

My doc told me to lose weight. I did and it all came out of my butt. This made a mere slippage into a slingshot situation.

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 03:53 PM

8. You can have some of mine. I have plenty.

This is the DU member formerly known as The Velveteen Ocelot.

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 04:27 PM

9. looks like no one wants to be silent about lack of ass



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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 06:45 PM

10. For swimming you need a 1920s style suit!


https://vintagedancer.com/1920s/1920s-swimsuits/

One of those wouldn't fall off!

Heck, a version would work to hold your underwear up, too. Just sew them to a tank top and Bob's your uncle.

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Response to csziggy (Reply #10)

Wed May 29, 2019, 02:42 PM

15. Swimming naked works too.

But not everyone wants to see that.

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Response to hunter (Reply #15)

Wed May 29, 2019, 02:47 PM

16. Skinny dipping is the only reason I ever wanted my own swimming pool

My friends and I used to skinny dip at some of the less known sinkholes south of town. Now they are too well known or part of the National Forest Sinkhole attraction - complete with boardwalks. So if I wanted to skinny dip these days I'd have to have my own pool.

Next year I might buy one of these inflatable ones - for the price if it only lasts one summer, that would be worth it!

https://www.biglots.com/product/quick-set-pool-10-x-30-/p810414192?N=1280308718&pos=1:3

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 06:46 PM

11. My name is Flotsam

and I am assless. Screw your 12 steps because if I do them I'll be mooning!

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 06:56 PM

12. I lost my ass

in a poker game.

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Tue May 28, 2019, 11:22 PM

13. I would be happy to donate some of my...

..derriere to those who are ass deficient.

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Response to Kaleva (Original post)

Wed May 29, 2019, 12:10 AM

14. I have a bit of an ass. I can also be a bit of an ass

I got a screaming deal a few years ago on some North Face swim trunks. Bought two pair for $16! I wear them as shorts. Now here's the thing: they have a real cinch. It's a half inch band of strong webbing material (none of this shoe string crap) that threads through a buckle and keeps everything in place. So be on the look out for some North Face swim trunks!

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