Clinical pet peeve: if I ask you "How long has this been going on?", don't say "A minute".

[Aristus]

Unless it has been going on for sixty seconds. All right?

I know "about a minute" is a current idiom for " a while now, a bit". But when I'm trying to fix your medical problem, please be a little more specific.

Argh!

[hlthe2b]

1. Q: "what brings you in today?" A: "I'm feeling a little bit 'puny'"

[Aristus]

3. I've heard it all.

And once, I heard it all from just one patient.

"What brings you in today?"

"I'm feeling kinda blah."

"How does blah feel?"

"I dunno; just kinda phht!"

"Well, does something hurt?"

"No, I just feel kinda meh."




This was seven or eight years ago, so I don't really remember if I was ever able to get a good history from this patient...

[hlthe2b]

4. and there a reason for "GOMER!" on the top of some charts...LOL

[Aristus]

5. Hell to the yeah.

[Ohiogal]

7. Hoo boy

You just made me remember how it was talking to my mother .....

"I don't feel good."

"What's the matter, Mom?"

"I just don't feel good."

"Is something hurting you?"

"I don't feel good all over."

"Is your stomach upset?"

"No."

"Headache? Dizzy? Chest pain?"

"No .... I just feel lousy."

"Lousy, how, Mom?"

"You just don't understand."

[Wounded Bear]

11. "You're right, I don't understand." Click...

[Phentex]

2. OH!

That's one of my peeves too! People are sheep.

At least the terms kudos and wheelhouse have died out a little.

[IggleDuer]

6. I once had an 8-year old, brought in by his mother for ear pain.

Me:- “How long has his ear been hurting him?”

Mom;- “Since birth!”

[3catwoman3]

8. Teenage patients are often very poor historians.

Every question asked gets an eye roll, a shrug, and an utterance that sounds rather like "Ah-oh-oh," and means, "I dunno."

Way too late in my career, I re-programmed my end-of-visit strategy. I used to ask a general, "Any questions?" and often get the dreaded, "By the way, as long as we're here..." Pandora's Box add on for a 3 yr history of something totally unrelated to the ear ache for which the appointment was made.

Now, I very specifically say, "Any questions about today's discussion?"

[Aristus]

10. I was lucky enough to get wise to that early in my career.

Now I say: "Any questions about what we just talked about?" - Just like you.

If they say no, I shake their hand, offer a farewell salutation and get myself out of that exam room before they can dream up another thing for me to look at.

Sometimes, they're able to squeeze in a "No, but I do have this thing I'd like you to look at..."

And that sends the game into extra innings...

[True Dough]

9. If you asked me that question, I'd say

"It's been a while, Ace."

[smirkymonkey]

12. You must have endless patience.

I would go insane if I had to put up with what you do. I would probably start bringing a taser to work and using it on uncooperative patients. I suppose that would kind of go against the Hippocratic Oath, wouldn't it?

[Aristus]

13. Yeah, just a little.