I lock the doors in case I'm attacked

[Ptah]

[dchill]

1. I go to parties, sometimes until four.

[SkatmanRoth]

4. It is hard to leave when you can't find the door, but it doesn't matter, the door is locked anyway

[dchill]

7. See? That's why the windows always get broken!

[SkatmanRoth]

12. The windows will have to be paid for. Hope he has an accountant

[Sherman A1]

2. I support the law

Of gravity.

[2naSalit]

3. ...they write me letters

tell me I'm great.

[Arkansas Granny]

5. I live in hotels, tear out the walls.

[Shrike47]

6. I lost my license, now I can't drive.

[dchill]

8. Everybody's so different, I haven't changed.

[jberryhill]

9. Life's been good to me so far

[gratuitous]

10. And this bird you cannot change

Whut?

[ProudLib72]

11. Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through!

[JDC]

13. My maseratti does 185

[Danmel]

14. I can't complain but sometimes I still do

Life's been good to me so far!!