My 80 year old Mom took a fall yesterday, she's lucky it could have been worse.

[givemebackmycountry]

Coming out of her patio into the dining room feeding the cats who hang out there.
Cat ran underfoot, and she went headfirst to the ground barely missing the dining room table (all oak).
Found herself laying between the table and a hutch.
I was not there, I was home 127 miles away in Orlando.
I asked her how long it took her to get back up and she said "three or four minutes".
So, today my sister and I tell that she's getting "Life-Alert" and her response was "I'm not wearing that shit".
Oh, yes you are.
You don't have a choice.

Now, on to the fucking worthless animals.

Look, I like kitty cats.
And I like doggies, especially big fluffy happy tail-wagging pet me kind of doggies.
But my Mom's pets?
I hate those fuckers.

Two freaking hyper-sensitive, anti-social, whine for food all day, lazy, useless, flea-bitten, can't be held, can't be petted, no purring, useless, sacks of feline crap.
There ain't no "squee" and there ain't no "sezaww" with these two suitable for target practice cats.

Then there is the genetic freak of a misbehaving, untrained, mentally challenged dog.
A freaking "schnoodle" half poodle and half schnauzer, and 100% stupid, barking for no reason, likely to take a dump in the middle of the living room, AT SIX YEARS OLD, stupid fucking dog.

But. she loves them and she thinks they are the best-est little well trained angels in all of pet history.
Me, I just want to take them for a little "ride".
I know that's mean, and it's not common for someone who professes to love animals to feel that way.
But, like people I don't have to love them all.

So, this is something I really don't need right now because if things get worse I'm going to have to change things up to be closer to her. She's not interested in moving or doing anything different.

I'm glad she's OK, but that fucking cat better stay far away from me.
And the dog?
He's so stupid I almost feel sorry for him.
Almost.

Oh, and the dog wears "one-sies" to bed.

Kill me now.
I'll be there on Friday through Monday.
Thank God I have some good weed.

[Kali]

1. ...

great rant! Happy Holidays!
glad she's ok

find another clothing item to humiliate the dog and enjoy laughing at it

[emilyg]

2. You're miles away - her

pets give her love and comfort. Calm down.

[givemebackmycountry]

3. Bullshit. She loves them more then she loves me.

I don't see the dog climbing up a ladder to clean her freaking gutters out, or mow her freaking lawn in the blazing heat of a Florida July weekend.

I've already told her if she winds up in the hospital again. when she comes home she will have three NEW pets (kind of).
Her old pets, stuffed and placed strategically around the house, safe from causing trips and falls.
They'll be the same, just not as "active".
Because they are dead and full of sawdust.

You have to understand, my Mom and I have a "unique" relationship.

LOL

[emilyg]

4. LOL - I wish Mom the best. I'm 73 and

have some of the same arguments with my daughter.