I have to leave for the airport in two hours for a business trip and I am dreading it.

[smirkymonkey]

I am still up. Can't sleep. I only fly for business about once or twice a year but I hate it. Going from Boston to Cinci, so about a 2 hour 40 minute flight. In the past I have flown at night and taken some Valium or Xanax to deal w/ nerves but I can't this time because I have to go right to work when I get there.

Of course I will be kind of a mess because I haven't slept and we have a dinner at 6:30 so I won't be back at the hotel until 9pm at the earliest. I cannot wait until this trip is over. I would give anything to be able to skip the trip and sleep for the next two days. I am so exhausted from getting up early this weekend. At least I will be able to take Friday off and have a long weekend.

Anyway, I am terrified of flying so if anything happens, know that I love you all!

[pbmus]

1. Air travel is the safest form of traveling...have a safe trip...and sleep tight.

[smirkymonkey]

2. Thanks! I know that, but it's just a phobia, which I know is not rational. Still, I hate

every second of it. I can't sleep on the flight, but hopefully I will be tired enough to be out of it.

[pbmus]

3. Aerophobia is the 4th most common...

You are definitely not alone...for whatever reason I am claustrophobic...elevators are a nightmare for me..

[smirkymonkey]

4. I don't like elevators either, but I have managed to cope now that I am on low floors

both at work and home (7th at work and 3rd at home). In NYC I was on very high floors which I didn't like at all. I have developed more of a fear of heights as I have gotten older for some reason.

[pbmus]

8. When someone asks me how I'm doing...I tell them..

I am still vertical because it pays better...


“Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.”—Satchel Paige, baseball player

Sure, Dr. Seuss didn’t say it, but he could have.

[Pacifist Patriot]

20. You sound very much like me.

[smirkymonkey]

66. In what way?

Are you phobic of a lot of things? I wish I wasn't so afraid. I used to be so brave, but I am just so aware of danger these days.

[Pacifist Patriot]

73. I have developed way more neuroses as I get older.

I used to love flying when I was young. Now I get panic attacks on airplanes. That's always so much fun to cry in front of strangers.

Over just the past couple of years I have become a seriously nervous passenger in automobiles. To the point I can barely stand being a passenger with my husband driving and balk completely at getting in the car with my son driving.

I used to have no problem with heights or elevators. Now I feel unsettled in them. We stayed at the Hotel Bella Sky in Copenhagen back in June. Had a room on the 14th floor, and I hated it. Never felt comfortable the entire time I was there.



It's bizarre. I'm not sure what's triggering these things, but I am really close to making an appointment with a counselor. I hate this feeling!!!

[smirkymonkey]

75. Oh, I know what you mean. This fear of heights has just developed over the

past few years. I had to keep my drapes closed the entire time I was at the hotel on the 12th floor (I requested a low floor, but did not get one). I'm not too afraid of cars yet, but I am still a little bit of a backseat driver. Sometimes I think I should have been born in a different time and place where things were simpler.

[PoliticAverse]

5. Don't worry, the plane probably won't crash. n/t

[pangaia]

51. probably !

[sprinkleeninow]

6. Nothing will happen! Try to at least rest some during the flight.

You know how many planes land and take off during the course of one day. Lotsa lotsa!

I pray an outgoing and incoming comfortable, restful ride be yours.

[appalachiablue]

7. All the best, sm I feel for you yet know you'll make it thru

the next couple days. Sleep lots when you make it back. Hugs!

[smirkymonkey]

12. Thanks appalachiablue!

I appreciate it!

[diva77]

9. I find a mantra such as "it's no big deal" helps me get through rough patches.

Safe travels to you!

[smirkymonkey]

13. Thank you!

[safeinOhio]

10. Try CBT

A fear of flying does not have to hinder travel plans. Experts from Baylor College of Medicine said the problem can be treated with cognitive behavioral therapy.

https://www.bcm.edu/news/psychiatry-and-behavior/behavior-therapy-for-flying-fear

[emmaverybo]

11. If I got over it, I'd have to fly. But seriously, I firmly believe in CBT. Thanks for link. OP you

will be fine. It’s just me the plane is after.

[smirkymonkey]

14. Thanks you! I do see a CB therapist, but we have not addressed this issue.

Usually I get some sedatives and they help, but I can't do that this time since I have to go right to work when I land.

[pangaia]

52. I'll bet bourbon works even better....

[Skittles]

15. you are going to be fine, smirkeymonkey

perhaps one of these days you can take a flight with some pilots who will sit with a bunch of nervous flyers like yourself and explain everything - a coworker of mine got over her fear of flying that way

[smirkymonkey]

41. Hey Skittles!

I survived! I was kind of proud of myself how I managed to cope fairly well. My brother is an Air Force pilot and is now taking a retirement job as a commercial pilot so I understand the physics behind it, but it would be helpful if he was beside me explaining every little noise and turn and bump. I would love to have any pilot next to me.

I remember I had a pilot sitting next to me on a flight to Colorado once when I was really freaking out because the plane kept dropping (giving me a head rush and disorienting me) and he explained how planes sometimes get into rising or falling columns of air. He did make me feel much better. Even though I had a blanket over my head and probably looked like a complete ass.

Thanks!

[Skittles]

45. some of the bigger airports have programs where you can fly with pilots

it really helped a coworker of mine....she was terrified of flying and it was hampering her career

[pangaia]

53. I'm not a pilot...But If yuo pay for my flight, I'll go with yuo some time.

I know what is going on ..

[smirkymonkey]

57. Heh, heh!

I only fly if my company is paying. I might have a hard time convincing them to let you tag along as an emotional support buddy!

I could dress you up like this...

[pangaia]

59. you got yourself a deal

let's go to Kyoto. I know all the great places to eat and NOT the tourist places.. LOL


Plus, yuo can get as drunk as you like. When we land in Osaka, I can push yu toward the bus to Kyoto Station. By then you;ll be sober...

[Lefta Dissenter]

63. Not to change the subject, but

Tell me the best places to eat in Kyoto! I’ll be visiting my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter in Tokyo next month, and will have a mere two days in Kyoto. I want to make the most of it!

[pangaia]

70. OH wonderful. I'm excited for you !

I LOVE Kyoto.. been there a bunch of time and have dear friends there. one of whom is something of a cultural icon-- She is 51 and has lived there her entire life. knows everything there is to know. I learned most of the little i know from her and another dear friend...

I'll come up with a list of my favs and a few of my favorite places to visit if you like...

Where are you staying?

I'll PM you so I don;t lose you. LOL...

[Lefta Dissenter]

76. Thanks so much for the PM, pangaia!

I’m really excited for the trip, though I know it’s going to go by in a flash. I’ll appreciate any input you have!

[NNadir]

16. There was a time in my life when I was on the road more than 60% of the time.

About half a work week was in the air.

You'll be OK, but yes, life on the road seems romantic when you start it, but eventually it sucks.

[smirkymonkey]

42. It's exhausting. I hardly ever do it and I am taking a long weekend.

I don't know how people do this all the time.

[Croney]

17. You made it! Just get through the day, and sleep on the return flight.

Home soon!

[smirkymonkey]

64. Thank you!

I made it! So glad to be home and on terra firma!

[PJMcK]

18. Let us now how your trip turned out

Best wishes, smirkymonkey!

[smirkymonkey]

43. Hi PJMcK!

I survived! I know that sounds crazy, but I am so grateful to be home and back on the ground in Boston. This was the first time I flew w/out any alcohol or sedatives and I actually did ok. Taking off is the worst part of it for me, but the rest was dealable since they had in-flight entertainment to keep me distracted.

Thank you!

[PJMcK]

47. Backatcha! (n/t)

[pangaia]

54. OK, I'll be your therapist for a moment.

What is it about the take off that bugs you?

[smirkymonkey]

61. The fact that it feel so unnatural to get a huuuuuuuge mega fuck-ton of

metal off the ground and into the air. The noises, the turns, the change in pressure, the sheer terror of going higher and higher. Knowing that I am over 30,000 feet in the air and that there is no way I can escape until the plane lands.

I have an enormous fear of heights, which is only getting worse as I get older. I don't even like being in a high building. I just moved from a 7-story building into a 3-story building and I am so happy to be closer to the ground. I asked my hotel in Cincinnati to put me on a low floor, but they put me on the 12th floor and I had to keep the drapes closed the whole time.

I can't even look at a photo of those old skyscraper photos where the workers are eating lunch on a beam or people are just walking around working at enormous heights without feeling like I am going to throw up. I have to put them out of sight immediately. They make me sick and dizzy.

I know it isn't rational, but the feeling is visceral and it hits me like a punch in the gut. It literally makes me sick.

So, therapist, what do you make of that?

[Pacifist Patriot]

74. Yep, you sound like me.

I had a corner hotel room in Chicago in January on the 28th floor. Two sides of the room were floor to ceiling glass. I looked out once and felt like I was going to fall out. Kept the curtains shut the rest of the trip.

[hlthe2b]

19. I don't mean to diminish this difficulty. Is there any kind of media you can immerse yourself in

that is both blood pressure lowering and calming? For me, I'd download a ton of dog, cat, and general animal videos in an ipad or laptop with some noise-canceling earphones.

It won't help on this trip, but perhaps you can discuss with your physician the possibility of a short term prescription of beta-blockers, if your overall health allows, which will lower your blood pressure, anxiety, without the sedation effects

In this case, maybe getting on board as quickly as possible, shutting your eyes and doing some self-visualization exercises. Maybe absorb yourself in how you will feel, surrounded by all of us, celebrating Trump's demolishing loss of the election (or being forced to leave even earlier). Let that sense of overwhelming relief flow over you and every molecule of your body. Imagine the discussions you will have with all of us and that infectious groundswell of positive feelings.

I'll be thinking of you, so think of me and everyone else. You can get through this!

[smirkymonkey]

44. Thank you hlthe2b!

I made it! So glad to be home! I appreciate your encouragement! I actually did it w/out any meds or alcohol too, which was a pretty big step for me.

[eppur_se_muova]

21. Does Cincinatti still have one of the worst-laid-out airports in the country ?

Walk a mile from your gate to the waiting area, then walk a mile to the gate for your connecting flight ...

Of course, I haven't been through Cinci for 20 years, maybe they've built something better.

[smirkymonkey]

24. Yes! It's awful! It's still like that.

The flight wasn't too bad though. Just hoping the return trip is equally uneventful.

[eppur_se_muova]

35. Good luck ! Remember, you're halfway done ! nt

[flibbitygiblets]

22. May I suggest listening to Guided Imagery recordings about overcoming fear?

Research shows that listening multiple times can reduce anxiety. You can find lots of them online, just google it. Load some onto your phone or other device, bring some headphones for during the flight.

Good luck!

[smirkymonkey]

65. Thanks flibbitygiblets!

I tried loading that on to my phone, but I couldn't access in flight. Luckily they had lots of in-flight entertainment which kept my little monkey-brain occupied. It helped, once we got off the ground, anyway. It's the takeoff that freaks me out the most.

Anyway, I am home and so glad to be back in my own apartment and on the ground!

[athena]

23. Think about how many airplanes are taking off every minute around the world.

One time, I stayed at a hotel near an airport, with a view (from far away) of the runway, so that I could see the planes taking off. It was more than one plane a minute. And that's just one airport. There is an airport in every city. And all of those planes are landing safely every day. Think about that the entire time you're on the plane, and you'll be OK.

[smirkymonkey]

28. That is the one thing that helps me the most. I think of all the thousands of planes that

take off and land every day, for years and years and don't crash.

[Niagara]

25. Have a safe trip, SM!

I honestly never traveled by air and I have no idea how my nerves would be. I wish you safe travels!

[smirkymonkey]

67. Thanks Niagara!

If I were you, I would avoid it unless there is someplace you really want to go that requires air travel. There is always a good stiff drink or some sedatives to help you through if you don't have to work.

Thank you for your kind wishes! I think everyone's well wishes were effective! I had a very easy flight both there and back. Taking off is the most terrifying part for me, but after that it was pretty smooth and we had in-flight entertainment which helped to distract me.

[customerserviceguy]

26. Can you get edibles where you are?

They work quite well on cross-country flights for me.

[smirkymonkey]

31. I think so, but it seems like most of the shops are kind of off the beaten path.

Nothing really nearby. I have never tried them. I would have to experiment first to see how I would react, but it's something to consider.

[gademocrat7]

27. You can do this, smirkymonkey.

We are supporting you on this journey.

[smirkymonkey]

32. Thank you gademocrat7!

I made it one way! Now just have to get back!

[MLAA]

29. Sending you calming energy💫✨

[smirkymonkey]

33. Thanks MLAA!

I think it worked. I was surprised by how NOT freaked out I was. I did ok, I think.

[MLAA]

34. Wonderful!

I don’t mind the actual flying part of a trip (I had to fly all over the world for my job), but the older I got the less patience I had for lines, delays, cancellations and airport assholes 😬

[Peregrine Took]

30. I've started going to a biofeeedback therapist for my omnipresent anxiety.

After only 3 sessions I've been able to (while wearing an ear sensor) observe my anxious thoughts on a big computer screen. I've already learned how to slow them down and calm myself quite a bit.
I have discovered a breathing technique that, with quiet music in the background, quiets my monkey mind.
I use an online app called "Breath Pacer" and I sync my breath with the "pace" he (therapist) devised for me. Visually, auditory - and breathing (I choose to count my breaths, too. 8 for the inhalations, 11 for the exhales) I can keep my negative thoughts away - calms me down for quite a while afterwards.
For something really stressful like medical tests for me or my husband (this week for him) I will probably do my 12 minute Breath Pacer quite often as I know I will be having trouble sleeping and waiting in the waiting room.
Of course, my angst has been 1000 times worse in the Time of Trump.

[smirkymonkey]

68. That sounds interesting. Is it expensive?

Will insurance cover it? I could use something like that. I tend to hyperventilate when I am nervous, especially when I am panicking, like I do when I fly. And add Trump on top of that! Ugh!

[Ahpook]

36. Flying flips me out too

I like landing, though

[ooky]

37. You just described my career.

I know very well the feeling you are having tonight. But I did it so much it nearly killed me.

Business travel sucks. Every time I boarded my next transatlantic or cross country flight I was ready to come home before we got up in the air. Sometimes I was so busy I had to pack for two trips at a time. I woke up in hotel rooms from night terrors, not clearly remembering what city I was in. I hated it. By age 61, I had to retire early because my body was nearly dead from living this way.

The trips in which you have to go to work as soon as you get to your destination are the worst. I learned to avoid that by flying on Saturday for Monday meetings. You lose your weekend but at least get a day to rest some.

Good luck on your flight.

[smirkymonkey]

46. Thank you, ooky!

I made it home safe and sound and am so happy to be home. I found the trip exhausting. Extremely early mornings and going right from all day meeting to 3 hour dinners with only an hour break in between.

It's so hard to be "on" for that long for me. In the office I have enough downtime to keep me sane, but I could never do this all the time. I really don't know how people do it. It would kill me if I had to travel regularly. I am taking tomorrow off (everyone is, even my boss - we are all completely shot) so it will be nice to have a long 3-day weekend. So looking forward to sleeping in!

[ooky]

50. The best part of the business trip was always coming home!

You get to breath easy now, its over, welcome home.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

38. Serenity Prayer.

KY...........

[Rhiannon12866]

40. And just remember to breathe!

That's helped me more than once!

[KY_EnviroGuy]

71. Hey, Rhiannon. Thanks for that reminder.

I need to get back into that practice along with more mindfulness meditations, which I've neglected lately during some hard times.

It's amazing how complacency can occupy me and cause all sorts of trouble, and when that wonderful old tool box is right there at my feet all along.......

May peace be upon you and planet earth.......

[smirkymonkey]

48. Thanks KY Enviro Guy

It helps! This was my first time flying with no sedatives or alcohol and I was surprisingly calm. Fortunately, I had most of my co-workers with me, so that helped a bit. Take off just terrifies me, but breathing and asking for peace helps.

[sprinkleeninow]

58. You were surprisingly calm. YES!! Good deal. Ahhh.. 💗

[KY_EnviroGuy]

69. You're welcome and congrats on surviving the trip.

I began traveling all over the U.S. soon after starting a recovery program and carried a mental security tool kit everywhere I went, including a special trip to Germany. I carried an assortment of self-help books packed with many good meditations to help fight through hard times on the road.

But, the main thing that carried me through was a set of sayings, brief old-fashioned prayers and some mantras I invented myself that I could repeat over and over when the crap got deep. When you're doing work in old power plants and paper mills, things tend to get that way often, LOL.

I believe one of the key effects of repeated calming sayings and mantras is that they quieten and bring peace to our minds. So, my point is that each person has to design his/her own tool kit to fight the demons of our minds and those of the world.

Thanks for sharing your happy ending!.......

[smirkymonkey]

72. Honestly, it's a little embarrassing, but I was praying to all my deceased

relatives - my mother, grandmother, grandfather, uncle, aunt, etc. Just praying to them to relieve me of fear, that was all. I am not religious, but when I am "in a foxhole" I ask my ancestors for help because I still feel like they are the ones who are looking out for me. I don't know if they can hear me, but it brings me peace.

Thanks KY-Enviro Guy!

[DFW]

39. I'd worry more about Cincinnati than the flight

I've been there a few times. I almost died of boredom. Even the airport is in Kentucky.

I fly all the time, so it's routine for me, except if I get some undisciplined 4 year old kicking the back of my seat for 7 hours straight and the parent feels this is perfectly normal. In such cases, homicidal instincts I thought I had successfully repressed resurface with a vengeance.

A co-worker I am particularly good friends with will turn 80 in a few weeks, and I am making an exceptional 3 day trip over to Texas for that. Nine hours to Düsseldorf to Atlanta, and then another two hours to Dallas.

On the other hand, my colleague from Geneva, Switzerland, has terrible claustrophobia. He took several courses with Swiss Air, a few tranquilizers, even managed to get to the USA a couple of times in the 1980s, but it never lasted. He hasn't flown for 20 years now (he is 72). Of course, living in Switzerland, you don't really need to fly if your job, family and vacation destinations are all within a 1000 KM radius. It's a ten minute drive to the French border. Germany and Italy are not far. Austria is reachable within 5 hours (Vienna is a little longer). Fast trains will get you to Prague or Budapest by dinner time. And of course, Switzerland itself is small but very diverse and fabulous.

Come to think of it, New England is pretty wonderful, too, so if you hate flying, the Boston area isn't a bad place to be stuck in! Just think of those occasional trips to Logan as the price to pay for living in a place many people would give their eye teeth to live!

[smirkymonkey]

49. Cinci is not the most exciting place in the world, but it was mostly all work and

my company's HQ is there, so you can't really avoid having to go there at least a few time per year. I would love to live in Europe, because you could conceivable train it all over the continent. In fact that is how I traveled when I was there except for Greece.

Most of my family lives on the eastern seaboard and in NY so they are a pretty easy train or bus ride away. I hate the bus, but love Amtrak. I have friends who live all over the country and who have offered to fly me out on FF miles, but I always manage to make excuses. I would love to see them, but the truth is that there are not many places in the US that I really care to visit except maybe New Orleans, Savannah, GA, Charlotte, SC and a few other well preserved charming old towns/cities on the east coast.

I have lived on the west coast and really have no interest in going back. If I am going to be on a plane for that long, I would rather fly to Europe. And yes, I am fortunate to live here. I think New England and most of NY State are very beautiful and I have free places to stay in some of the nicest places in the region.

Fortunately my plane trip was only about 2 hours, but I really start going crazy if it lasts any longer than that. I get so claustrophobic. I just feel so trapped. I want out and I know that there is no way that is possible.

[lunasun]

56. I use the Amtrak system out of Chicago often for business not too far away . Not because I'm

nervous about flying but both airports are farther out of the city than the train station so when I add that time and expense to get to a flight plus the crowds and even other offensive flyers, it is a good option for shorter trips and not that much longer and more peaceful plus they have single seat business class on a lot of runs with WiFi

Of course for farther distance travel it’s too time consuming for business and so the airport it is ...
Last business flight the guy next to me spilled his wine all over his tray of which some went on my pants and he never said anything to me and then thought the attendant was going to clean it all up
She gave him a towel rag and large garbage bag . Then she asked if I wanted to come up front while he was cleaning to get some club soda for my pants . When I came back he had put the bag in the aisle for her to retrieve and was fake sleeping until we landed

[smirkymonkey]

60. Ugh! Flying is a nightmare for so many reasons, even if you aren't afraid to fly.

People behave so badly and are so rude. I never seem to run into people like that on trains for some reason.

Probably because they aren't completely miserable. So sorry for your experience.

[BigMin28]

55. I'm glad you are back safe and sound.

Enjoy your Friday off and your long weekend smirkeymonkey. Do something nice for yourself.

[smirkymonkey]

62. Thank you BigMin!

I am so happy to be home and have a long weekend!