How to Stuff Your Parrot on Thanksgiving

[highplainsdem]

1 Turkey
Mashed potatoes/gravy
Corn Pudding
Cranberry Sauce
Green Beans
Hot Rolls
Stuffing
Relish tray
Sweet Potatoes
Pumpkin pie/whipped Cream
Hot Coffee


Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee. It is going to be a long day so place your parrot on a perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the meal.

Remove parrot from kitchen counter back to perch. Prepare stuffing; remove parrot from edge of stuffing bowl. Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, remove parrot from edge of pan. Have another cup of coffee to steady your nerves.

Remove parrot’s head from turkey cavity and re-stuff voided area. Prepare relish tray; remember to make twice as much so that you will have a regular size serving after the parrot has eaten his fill. Remove parrot from kitchen counter. Prepare cranberry sauce; discard berries accidentally flung to the floor. Peel potatoes, remove parrot from edge of potato bowl. Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown sugar & mini-marshmallows remove parrot from edge of pan & replace missing marshmallows.

Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean up the torn filter and old coffee grounds from around the pot. Pry coffee bean from parrot’s beak. Have another cup of coffee & remove parrot from kitchen counter.

When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a large platter, cover beak marks with strategically placed sprigs of parsley. Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl; rewhip at last minute to conceal bite marks and footprints.

Place pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard; forget presentation cause there is no way to hide the areas of missing marshmallow.Put rolls in decorative basket, remove parrot from side of basket along with beaked rolls, and serve what is left. Set a stick of butter out on the counter to soften - think better of it and return it to the refrigerator.

Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato foot tracks. Remove parrot from kitchen counter & carve the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream off parrot’s beak & place large dollops of remaining cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then served to guests, beaked-out portions should be reserved for host & hostess. Place parrot inside cage & lock the door. Sit down to a nice relaxing dinner with your family - accompanied by plaintive cries of “WANT DINNER!” from the other room.

[dewsgirl]

1. I love this. I had an African Grey for years, he passed away

a few years ago. This brings back fond memories.

[tblue37]

3. African Greys are so cool, and scary smart. nt

[dewsgirl]

5. Yes they are. We had a glass table by the front door and everyone

would drop their keys on it, he would trick me all the time. I still think of him each time I hear that sound.

[tblue37]

2. K&R. Funny, but don't forget to clean up the parrot poop on the counter.

We used to have budgies. Free roaming birds poop everywhere.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. That would worry me more than the beak marks in the food.

I have similar issues of food-stealing when cooking with cat interference, but the cats don't poop on the counter (though I suppose their paws have been in the litter box at some point, there's no actual, visible poop on the counter).

[MontanaMama]

6. I'm laughing reading this

with a Jenday Conure on my shoulder. Punch is a food thief and wants anything you’re eating...if you’re drinking wine he wants that too. Such a rotten tot. He’s out of his cage more then he’s in it so potty training is important because I don’t like the poops around. Punch goes in the potty (the waste basket) most of the time. He’s only 6 months old so accidents happen but he really doesn’t like to go in his cage so he will say “step up step up?” And I’ll go get him so he can go in the potty. I think birds are more work than dogs...but they’re worth it. Such characters.