'It's Time To Go, Mr. Stone,' Says Ski-Masked William Barr After Running Prison Bus Off Road *ONION*

[NBachers]

https://politics.theonion.com/it-s-time-to-go-mr-stone-says-ski-masked-william-b-1841610429?utm_source=Facebook&utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&fbclid=IwAR038Lv9G59ifiUc2BN2UosEcToQD8bNhpGeU6rfvcMXfn0j_wF4Rip5kY8

WASHINGTON—Smashing through the glass of the back window before prying open the door, a ski-masked William Barr reportedly told Roger Stone that it was time to go Tuesday after running the convicted felon’s prison bus off the road. “Looks like there’s been a change of plans,” said the attorney general, firing his sawed-off shotgun at Stone’s restraints in order to free him before spinning around and blasting a prison guard in the face at point-blank range. “You’ve got some friends in high places, Mr. Stone. I have some new passports for you and a change of clothes in the car. Don’t worry, if we can make it to D.C., we’ve got a nice, comfortable spot for you to wait it out until the heat is off, but we gotta move fast.” At press time, after an injured prison guard began struggling to his feet, Barr reportedly told him “Let Adam Schiff know what you saw here” before ramming him in the forehead with the butt of his shotgun.

[RockRaven]

1. Satire aside, it's not unreasonable to think that Stone should be more scared about the

prospect of being let off than the prospect of being locked up.

I mean, even accounting for Epstein (not really going there, just adding it to the ledger to be generous), and all that. A lot more Russians and Russia-connected people and compromised-GOP-operatives have died in weird circumstances OUTSIDE of US federal prison than INSIDE.

[NBachers]

2. Things could take a surprising, yet not totally unexpected, twist in this scenerio, couldn't they?