I'm on my twelfth day without booze and I've lost the

[Floyd R. Turbo]

hearing in my left eye!

[Cirque du So-What]

1. After 'I've lost the...', I expected to see

'will to live.'

[Floyd R. Turbo]

2. That happened on day one!

[Jamastiene]

3. I expected that too.

I know I would say that at day 12.

[hlthe2b]

4. My immediate thought as well... LOL

[underpants]

5. 😁

Moe: Yeah, hi, I'm calling for Reverend Lovejoy. Who is this?
Marge: Oh, well, this is um, the uh ... The Listen Lady.
Moe: Yeah, well listen, lady, I got so many problems I, I don't even know where to begin here.
Marge: Okay ... um, why don't you start from the top?
Moe: All righty. Uh, number one, I've lost the will to live.
Marge: Aw, that's ridiculous, Moe. You've got lots to live for.
Moe: Really? That's not what Reverend Lovejoy's been telling me. Wow, you're good, thanks. [hangs up]
[The phone rings; Moe calls back]
Moe: Hi, it's me again. I've got another problem. Uh, this one's about my cat. [a cat yowls in the background] Yeah, shut up, I'm asking her!

[Wounded Bear]

6. Probably passed out too many times...

lying on your right side.

[MLAA]

7. Just take your eye patch off. Duh 😊