Excuse me, Sir...

[LuckyCharms]

Can you please tell me in which aisle the prophylactics are located?

[jberryhill]

1. That all depends on what you are trying to prevent

[LuckyCharms]

2. THE CLAP

[jberryhill]

3. Oh, I just get up in front of the audience and tell a few jokes

That prevents it, dead in its tracks.

[LuckyCharms]

4. Me too!

Went to a petting zoo yesterday. There was a miniature pony there. He was hung like a horse.

[sl8]

5. Oh. pony-schmony. I mean, who among us *hasn't* been a little hoarse? n/t

[LuckyCharms]

9. Remember, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean.

Not really.

It's the size of the boat.

[safeinOhio]

6. No, I'm only 13 but I do

have a note from my mom.

[LuckyCharms]

7. Don't need a note if you...

shoplift them. Like I do.

[safeinOhio]

8. Mom would kill me

if I got caught.

[LuckyCharms]

10. Just stop showing your condoms to your mom...

and you won't get caught.

[LuckyCharms]

11. When I was 13, I asked my dad...

what size condoms I should buy.

He said..."go ask your mother".

As I went to find my mother to ask her, I stopped in my tracks and said "HUH?"

[smirkymonkey]

12. Sir? Mr. Trump, is that you?

I always thought you raw-dogged it. Nice to see you taking some responsibility for a change.

[LuckyCharms]

13. These days, the closest I get to raw-dogging it

is when I eat a hot dog right from the package.