THE OUTDOORSMAN

[rurallib]

Jokes from my brother:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors-man!"

"NAH, he replied, I'm just a shitty golfer.

[hunter]

1. It's missing "attacked by a goose," if my own golfing experience is anything to go by.

My brother and my dad are excellent golfers, I'm not.

I think golf would be a great game if it was played more like Calvinball on courses that were 80% wilderness instead of highly manicured water hungry lawns drenched in toxic chemicals.

[csziggy]

2. Pasture golf would be a close second to Calvinball!

[hunter]

3. That's how golf was meant to be played.

My concession to the modern game would be synthetic greens (of various colors) you could put down anywhere from deserts to bogs and pastures.

Every golf course would be unique, from organic green grasslands mowed by sheep to toxic post-industrial wastelands.

Golf Chernobyl.

[csziggy]

4. I'm just imaging golfing through Northern Scotland

Driving a car there is bad enough and we met two bicyclists who were burned out on their trip through that country. But golfing would be insane! No wonder the Scots made manicured golf courses to play their game.