Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:30 AM
wnylib (17,268 posts)
Social distancing -- What do you miss most?
Besides the obvious loss of in-person contact with children, grandchildren, and co-workers, what conveniences, social settings and things we took for granted do you miss? Simple daily things and bigger things and events?
I miss getting together with friends for lunch, special interest classes at the library or community college, the sound of kids outdoors playing.
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64 replies, 3411 views
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Author | Time | Post |
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wnylib | Apr 2020 | OP |
comradebillyboy | Apr 2020 | #1 | |
KatyMan | Apr 2020 | #16 | |
SheltieLover | Apr 2020 | #51 | |
greymattermom | Apr 2020 | #2 | |
doc03 | Apr 2020 | #3 | |
Phentex | Apr 2020 | #4 | |
Jamastiene | Apr 2020 | #5 | |
wnylib | Apr 2020 | #22 | |
musicman65 | Apr 2020 | #24 | |
jberryhill | Apr 2020 | #30 | |
cwydro | Apr 2020 | #47 | |
I_UndergroundPanther | Apr 2020 | #56 | |
NNadir | Apr 2020 | #6 | |
Runningdawg | Apr 2020 | #26 | |
Demovictory9 | Apr 2020 | #40 | |
cwydro | Apr 2020 | #48 | |
Cirque du So-What | Apr 2020 | #7 | |
GreenPartyVoter | Apr 2020 | #8 | |
sinkingfeeling | Apr 2020 | #9 | |
SallyHemmings | Apr 2020 | #10 | |
Bayard | Apr 2020 | #13 | |
SallyHemmings | Apr 2020 | #15 | |
SWBTATTReg | Apr 2020 | #11 | |
wnylib | Apr 2020 | #17 | |
SWBTATTReg | Apr 2020 | #18 | |
liberalmuse | Apr 2020 | #12 | |
Bayard | Apr 2020 | #14 | |
wnylib | Apr 2020 | #19 | |
Wounded Bear | Apr 2020 | #20 | |
The Velveteen Ocelot | Apr 2020 | #21 | |
musicman65 | Apr 2020 | #23 | |
Kali | Apr 2020 | #25 | |
livetohike | Apr 2020 | #27 | |
Runningdawg | Apr 2020 | #28 | |
unblock | Apr 2020 | #29 | |
madamesilverspurs | Apr 2020 | #31 | |
JDC | Apr 2020 | #32 | |
WePurrsevere | Apr 2020 | #33 | |
wnylib | Apr 2020 | #38 | |
WePurrsevere | Apr 2020 | #41 | |
Skittles | Apr 2020 | #34 | |
Generic Brad | Apr 2020 | #35 | |
LisaL | Apr 2020 | #36 | |
LuckyCharms | Apr 2020 | #37 | |
NNadir | Apr 2020 | #43 | |
rzemanfl | Apr 2020 | #55 | |
Yavin4 | Apr 2020 | #39 | |
Violet_Crumble | Apr 2020 | #42 | |
DFW | Apr 2020 | #44 | |
Hotler | Apr 2020 | #45 | |
wnylib | Apr 2020 | #46 | |
Hotler | Apr 2020 | #59 | |
yellowdogintexas | Apr 2020 | #49 | |
deek | Apr 2020 | #50 | |
at140 | Apr 2020 | #52 | |
I_UndergroundPanther | Apr 2020 | #53 | |
rzemanfl | Apr 2020 | #54 | |
IADEMO2004 | Apr 2020 | #57 | |
wnylib | Apr 2020 | #61 | |
Rizen | Apr 2020 | #58 | |
Polybius | Apr 2020 | #60 | |
KY_EnviroGuy | Apr 2020 | #62 | |
smirkymonkey | Apr 2020 | #63 | |
struggle4progress | Apr 2020 | #64 |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:32 AM
comradebillyboy (9,737 posts)
1. Going out to eat...
Response to comradebillyboy (Reply #1)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 12:00 PM
KatyMan (3,771 posts)
16. Yes our payday treat.
Cocktails out at a local outdoor mall, followed by gelato and live music on "the green" there. And Saturday afternoon at a nice restaurant or a movie or both!
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Response to comradebillyboy (Reply #1)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:26 PM
SheltieLover (57,073 posts)
51. This
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:36 AM
greymattermom (5,722 posts)
2. There's a burger place near me.
Nothing fancy, but you can get a great burger and a craft beer and sit outside. I used to go on a long walk in the park, then go there. I'm almost ready to try take out from there. I've been volunteering at thrift shop. I learned that I don't miss it. My Denver daughter and my Cincinnati son and family were supposed to come visit me. It didn't happen, so I don't miss it, but I can't see them except on video now. My grandson is 14 and has grown 4 inches since the last time I saw him.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:37 AM
doc03 (32,989 posts)
3. My morning coffee and bs session with other retirees at
McDonald's, going to the gym and eating out.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:39 AM
Phentex (16,120 posts)
4. coffee chats with a close friend...
we're talking on the phone but it's not the same.
I miss chatting with the people at the bakery & grocery store. I miss my toddler class! I miss babystting. I miss trivia night at the bar! ![]() Big event? MY SON'S COLLEGE GRADUATION. Well, postponed they say but it won't be the same. ![]() |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:43 AM
Jamastiene (38,174 posts)
5. Not a damn thing.
I hate it when people get too close to me. I wish the 6 foot rule would become permanent for strangers, at least.
Being alone most of the time is the usual for me. It's weird seeing everyone else go crazy trying to live how I am forced to live as a total reject here in redneck Trump territory where I live. People are getting a small taste of how I live, and cannot handle it. Hell, try doing it because everyone around you hates you. At least there are still people who love you and want to spend time with you. Try doing it the way I am forced to do it and you'd have gone crazy far sooner. Everyone is so unbelievably spoiled. It's the usual for me to be alone 99% of the time, because I am surrounded by right wing idiots. I'd rather be alone or dead than be around them. One of my neighbors literally told me when they shoot their guns for hours, because they are practicing to kill gays like me when Trump declares it open season on us. With social distancing, I don't miss a goddamn thing. I'm still staying away from the assholes around me, as usual. The less I have to see if these assholes, the better. |
Response to Jamastiene (Reply #5)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:56 PM
wnylib (17,268 posts)
22. Sorry things are so bad for you there.
I can sympathize with the part about being among RWers. A lot in my area, too. But I have found some pockets of lefties and tolerable moderates. Not being gay, I can't know first hand what you cope with, but can care as a fellow human being. Do you have an online site to go to for gay support?
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Response to Jamastiene (Reply #5)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:07 PM
musicman65 (524 posts)
24. There will be
a very special place in hell for them
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Response to Jamastiene (Reply #5)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:35 PM
jberryhill (62,444 posts)
30. When this is over
And you need a vacation to somewhere saner. Give me a holler. |
Response to Jamastiene (Reply #5)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 12:19 PM
cwydro (48,988 posts)
47. I live in a red county in the south.
I’ve never dealt with anyone acting that way to me because of my sexual orientation.
Sorry it’s that way for you. People are polite, helpful, and nice here pretty much all the time. |
Response to Jamastiene (Reply #5)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:46 PM
I_UndergroundPanther (11,640 posts)
56. I used to be alone
Still alone for the most part.
I get nervous if people figure out that I am transgendered,and they are rightwingers,bad experiences. I hope you can someday move the fuck away from there,a place you feel safe at. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:45 AM
NNadir (31,044 posts)
6. I miss libraries, all of them. I still have limited access to libraries on line...
...but there's nothing so wonderful as sitting in a library.
Of course, if and when I have the opportunity to go back to them, I'll appreciate them more. |
Response to NNadir (Reply #6)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 12:05 AM
Demovictory9 (29,871 posts)
40. that's a big one
Response to NNadir (Reply #6)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 12:23 PM
cwydro (48,988 posts)
48. Me too.
I love my local library.
I miss my gym too. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:47 AM
Cirque du So-What (22,468 posts)
7. Actually,
I'll miss social distancing when things go back to 'normal.' I'm not a germophobe, but neither am I a fan of smearing personal biomes together at every opportunity. I'm fine with a nod or a wave replacing a handshake. I'll accept a hug when one is offered, but I seldom initiate one (family excepted).
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:48 AM
GreenPartyVoter (71,413 posts)
8. My students, art galleries, libraries and book shops, cafes, seeing family.
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:50 AM
sinkingfeeling (47,581 posts)
9. Travel outside the country and the arts.
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:58 AM
SallyHemmings (1,735 posts)
10. Hugging my Dad
After months of physical decline and about a month after Mum passed. Dad settled on a skilled nursing facility. He worked as a foreman in a steel mill, straight up blue collar. Not a bunch of hugs growing up. Not his way. He was active in the civil rights movement. We were raised in the church. Education was important. Work hard, don't give the boss a reason to fire you. We shared all the chores. We helped him and Mum. Sewing, yard work, minor car repairs. The rules changed when it came to dating. But he was clear on being responsible sexually.
His was the first department to integrate with women. He worked in the inspection department. After 38 years, he and quite a few of his peers were given a buy out to retire. He was not ready mentally or financially. Life took a harder turn when Mum came down with dementia. She was supposed to take care of him according to his Life play book. Eventually, she was placed in the very facility where he resides. But a major change came with his visits. A gentleness emerged. He fed her. Played her favorite music and simply held her hands. She finally got the little things from Dad she always wanted. We started receiving hugs from the old man. It is about 40 minutes from me. Growing up in the country and working in outside sales, the distance is zero big deal. I am the middle child, only girl, responsible child so our relationship is complex. Try taking care of financial and medical decisions without Power of Attorney. That being said, I love my Dad. His facility is under lockdown until April 30. Thank God the staff and residents are virus free. I will Video chat with him today. But I miss being able to hug him. ![]() |
Response to SallyHemmings (Reply #10)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:19 AM
Bayard (18,121 posts)
13. A lovely tribute to your Dad
I am convinced that hugs prolong life (normally!)
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Response to Bayard (Reply #13)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:31 AM
SallyHemmings (1,735 posts)
15. Thank you Bayard
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:11 AM
SWBTATTReg (19,510 posts)
11. Absolutely nothing. I miss nothing. I'm saving the lives of my loved ones and myself. Can't...
ask for anything more than this. Damn the hamburgers and other crap that we all thought before, was absolutely essential to life. And now, we're finding out what's really important to us.
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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #11)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:11 PM
wnylib (17,268 posts)
17. Yes, we're resetting our priorities. Some
resets will become permanent, I think. Our lives will change in other ways as yet unknown. Hope most of tge changes will be positive ones.
Thanks for staying home to save lives. I am one of the vulnerable ones. |
Response to wnylib (Reply #17)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:14 PM
SWBTATTReg (19,510 posts)
18. Best wishes to you definitely. My SO is working on the front lines too, at an 'essential'...
business (Home Depot). I get nervous but he says that they have all kinds of cleaners and disinfectants, but I still worry.
I plan on staying in place and do my meager bit to fight this thing. Again, take care and best wishes to you. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:17 AM
liberalmuse (18,589 posts)
12. Not much, except going to the park
Until a couple days ago, I felt comfortable going to the park because there weren't many people there and those who were there were mindful of social distancing. However, last time I went I had to dodge people who were trying to get too close, and sadly, these were older people. The younger people kept their distance except for a couple kids on bikes I had to move away from. I won't be going there for awhile.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:23 AM
Bayard (18,121 posts)
14. I spend most of my time alone anyway
I work from home, and my husband is gone for a month at a time. But I am missing the little outings....visiting a few friends, going to my favorite used bookstore (closed). I was planning a major plant buying expedition with a gardening friend, but we are delaying that now.
My brother wants to come down for a visit, and I said sure--if you're not running a temperature. Now, I wonder if that's even smart, since his company has continued working. |
Response to Bayard (Reply #14)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:15 PM
wnylib (17,268 posts)
19. Brother's visit is probably not wise.
Who will he come in contact with on the way there? What things will he touch? Who and what has he been in contact with in the 14 days before he gets there?
Be safe. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:25 PM
Wounded Bear (55,351 posts)
20. Sunday breakfast with my brother and nephew...nt
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:26 PM
The Velveteen Ocelot (106,803 posts)
21. Not a whole lot, except for lunch at my favorite little restaurant
and my art class. Otherwise I'm pretty much OK, being kind of a hermit even in normal times.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:05 PM
musicman65 (524 posts)
23. Being out in front of people
playing music
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:25 PM
Kali (54,129 posts)
25. full produce shelves at the store and the public pool I use in winter
otherwise my life is pretty much the same as it always was, with maybe a few less public meetings (not that I go to many anyway)
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:29 PM
livetohike (21,404 posts)
27. I belong to a community choir. We have weekly rehearsals
so I miss singing and talking with my friends. Doubt we will have our May concert.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:30 PM
Runningdawg (4,165 posts)
28. Neighborhood dogs getting to play together.
We don't have a dog park near by and with the exception of 2 chihuahuas and a couple shepards, ever dog on the block is a pit. On nice days 5 or 6 will end up the same yard to play while we shoot the shit over the fence. Now we stand on our porches and yell.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:35 PM
unblock (51,287 posts)
29. meh. i suppose i miss being able to just open packages without sanitizing them first.
but, small price to pay, all things considered.
we're healthy, i still have a job, i can work from home effectively, and we're homebodies anyway. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:38 PM
madamesilverspurs (15,379 posts)
31. Spontaneity
Of course I miss the usual activities, the visiting, the dropping by for coffee, etc. But what really hits home for me is the emotional isolation, the inability to express basic human caring. Case in point -- a dear friend just lost a family member to cancer; I'm supposed to be one of the first ones there to offer a hug, a shoulder to cry on for as long as needed. Somehow a phone call feels so inadequate. I hate that.
. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 06:12 PM
JDC (9,476 posts)
32. Going out to eat.
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 06:38 PM
WePurrsevere (24,259 posts)
33. Freedom. I HATE feeling as TRAPPED as I do now...
It's one thing to stay at home because I 'want' to or can't get up the energy/motivation and another when I HAVE to stay at home because I MUST (a risk taker I'm not).
Missing hugs and cuddles from my daughter, grandchildren and other family is just plain awful but this feeling of being trapped and stuck so I can't get to them if I'm needed makes it so much worse. The other thing I really miss is physically going shopping. It's been almost well over a year since the last of my parents died, I'm supposed to 'finally' be getting my portion of the estate and we had all sorts of plans for things we very much need/want to do/repair/replace ASAP. Most of these will be temporarily on hold. ::sigh:: There are so many putting their, and their loved ones, lives in danger out there to fight this, help save lives and make sure we can all have food, power, internet, etc so I try very hard not to think about things I am or will be missing out on right now. Unfortunately every now and then my inner gremlins instigate a bit of a pity party until I tell them to stuff it and fight those negative feeling with thinking about all of the things I 'AM' grateful for (and repeating my mantra of "this too shall pass" over and over again). |
Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #33)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:12 PM
wnylib (17,268 posts)
38. I heard a good program yesterday
about processing grief and loss during this time becayse people can't have traditional funerals and wakes.
It also covered the loss of our way of life. One thing that was emphasized is that each person's loss is real to that person. So nobody should discount their feelings on the basis that someone else has had it worse. No point in competing for the most right to feel bad. So tgeycsaid to face the loss and not bury it. Name it, feel it, and share it. Then do what things you can that bring some satisfaction or comfort in order to heal and adjust. So it's ok to feel frustrated even if others have it worse. |
Response to wnylib (Reply #38)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 06:26 AM
WePurrsevere (24,259 posts)
41. Thanks!
I truly appreciate the reminder.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:14 PM
Skittles (148,520 posts)
34. OK I do miss the occasional movie
nothing like the big theater
but I have never been a touchy-feely person |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:47 PM
Generic Brad (13,982 posts)
35. Working in my office
I miss all my big screens and super fast computer response time. Trying to manage operations off a small laptop with an itty, bitty screen is really challenging.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:51 PM
LisaL (44,679 posts)
36. Going shopping and having fun while doing it.
As opposed as being terrified shopping is going to kill me.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:55 PM
LuckyCharms (14,401 posts)
37. French kissing strangers at the laundromat.
Response to LuckyCharms (Reply #37)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 08:13 AM
NNadir (31,044 posts)
43. To prevent damage to my septic system, I do my whites with bleach at a laundromat.
I went very early this morning, as soon as it opened.
Happily no one was there, and I faced no risk of being attacked by a French kisser. Thanks though for making me aware of this risk. Of course, I haven't faced that kind of risk in years unless my wife is around and we're alone. |
Response to LuckyCharms (Reply #37)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:44 PM
rzemanfl (29,140 posts)
55. Wait, what?!!!!
This does not go with the joke you posted yesterday. Hard to know where your head is at.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 12:03 AM
Yavin4 (34,053 posts)
39. My gym
I have been stress eating and putting on the pounds.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 06:28 AM
Violet_Crumble (35,851 posts)
42. I miss going to the office every day...
Also...
I miss my chair I had to leave in the office when I took my keyboard, mouse, headset, wall calender, and dual monitor home... I miss seeing my mum, who's in lockdown in a nursing home I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about my elderly parents or my daughter with one lung being exposed to the virus I miss Friday long lunches at the pub I miss the days when my home was my refuge from work.... |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 10:45 AM
DFW (50,524 posts)
44. I miss my lunches with the people I work with every week.
With my schedule, this usually means one day in Spain, one day in Belgium, one day in France, one day in the Netherlands and one day in Switzerland, or some variation thereof. I thrive on the banter in the local languages of each country, and the different food in each (athough the Dutch REALLY need to improve their diets!).
While my wife is wonderful company, I do miss the cultural potpourri that makes up my normal work week. They way things are, we can't even get out to visit our German-based daughter and granddaughter down in the Taunus hills north of Frankfurt. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 10:53 AM
Hotler (10,158 posts)
45. Hugs............................. nt
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 07:54 PM
yellowdogintexas (20,448 posts)
49. Impulse happy hours with a table full of Democratic women
Monthly meetings of our Democratic Woman's Club with a great program and a long lunch at our favorite Italian restaurant (it's a BYOB place)
My Sunday School Class!!! We started having virtual class on Sundays using Zoom and it has been great! Then we have a Happy Hour on Zoom on Wednesday that is just for fun . Another church group is getting together on Friday afternoons using Zoom It is so good to see everyone together even if we are all in different places. Even though we had not planned to go anywhere until August, I find myself missing my daughter a great deal more than before this all started. She has a baby and I really want to see her but we have to wait until it is really safe to travel. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:24 PM
deek (3,414 posts)
50. life not that different
except for dr appointments
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:29 PM
at140 (6,052 posts)
52. The great sea-food restaurants in my beach town in Florida!
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:41 PM
I_UndergroundPanther (11,640 posts)
53. I miss
I miss
My once a month visit out to eat. I miss the fun of just talking to strangers sometimes making new friends. I miss the world before the virus. I miss hugs. I miss when I was not scared to touch the pharmacy counters, shopping carts touchpads, etc. Or when I didn't have to disinfect doorknobs,light switches and other surfaces everyday. Didn't have to wash my clothes whenever I go to a store or encounter people. I miss the lack of anxiety. I miss not having dried out hands. I miss going out without a mask and glasses on. I miss not.being.afraid I might catch the coronavirus. I miss not tensing up when I hear a cough or sneeze in some store aisle away from where I am wondering if I should not go that way because coronavirus.. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:41 PM
rzemanfl (29,140 posts)
54. I can only say "extra" is part of it. n/t
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 10:49 PM
Rizen (613 posts)
58. I played competitive Smash Bros tournaments at the local collage.
It was a weekly thing. That's a fighting video game btw.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 11:22 PM
Polybius (12,342 posts)
60. I'm high maintenance, so getting my hair cut and dyed
I see grays coming in, and I hate shaving the back of my own neck.
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Response to wnylib (Original post)
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 11:28 PM
KY_EnviroGuy (14,242 posts)
62. Hugging my daughter and granddaughter!
And brisk handshakes with friends.
KY.............. ![]() |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Fri Apr 3, 2020, 01:28 AM
smirkymonkey (63,221 posts)
63. Mugging people.
I really miss that sweet, easy, free money.
It will be nice when things get back to normal and I can just get on with it. |
Response to wnylib (Original post)
Fri Apr 3, 2020, 02:08 AM
struggle4progress (114,734 posts)