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wnylib

(21,146 posts)
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:30 AM Apr 2020

Social distancing -- What do you miss most?

Besides the obvious loss of in-person contact with children, grandchildren, and co-workers, what conveniences, social settings and things we took for granted do you miss? Simple daily things and bigger things and events?

I miss getting together with friends for lunch, special interest classes at the library or community college, the sound of kids outdoors playing.

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Social distancing -- What do you miss most? (Original Post) wnylib Apr 2020 OP
Going out to eat... comradebillyboy Apr 2020 #1
Yes our payday treat. KatyMan Apr 2020 #16
This SheltieLover Apr 2020 #51
There's a burger place near me. greymattermom Apr 2020 #2
My morning coffee and bs session with other retirees at doc03 Apr 2020 #3
coffee chats with a close friend... Phentex Apr 2020 #4
Not a damn thing. Jamastiene Apr 2020 #5
Sorry things are so bad for you there. wnylib Apr 2020 #22
There will be musicman65 Apr 2020 #24
When this is over jberryhill Apr 2020 #30
I live in a red county in the south. cwydro Apr 2020 #47
I used to be alone I_UndergroundPanther Apr 2020 #56
I miss libraries, all of them. I still have limited access to libraries on line... NNadir Apr 2020 #6
YES Runningdawg Apr 2020 #26
that's a big one Demovictory9 Apr 2020 #40
Me too. cwydro Apr 2020 #48
Actually, Cirque du So-What Apr 2020 #7
My students, art galleries, libraries and book shops, cafes, seeing family. GreenPartyVoter Apr 2020 #8
Travel outside the country and the arts. sinkingfeeling Apr 2020 #9
Hugging my Dad SallyHemmings Apr 2020 #10
A lovely tribute to your Dad Bayard Apr 2020 #13
Thank you Bayard SallyHemmings Apr 2020 #15
Absolutely nothing. I miss nothing. I'm saving the lives of my loved ones and myself. Can't... SWBTATTReg Apr 2020 #11
Yes, we're resetting our priorities. Some wnylib Apr 2020 #17
Best wishes to you definitely. My SO is working on the front lines too, at an 'essential'... SWBTATTReg Apr 2020 #18
Not much, except going to the park liberalmuse Apr 2020 #12
I spend most of my time alone anyway Bayard Apr 2020 #14
Brother's visit is probably not wise. wnylib Apr 2020 #19
Sunday breakfast with my brother and nephew...nt Wounded Bear Apr 2020 #20
Not a whole lot, except for lunch at my favorite little restaurant The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2020 #21
Being out in front of people musicman65 Apr 2020 #23
full produce shelves at the store and the public pool I use in winter Kali Apr 2020 #25
I belong to a community choir. We have weekly rehearsals livetohike Apr 2020 #27
Neighborhood dogs getting to play together. Runningdawg Apr 2020 #28
meh. i suppose i miss being able to just open packages without sanitizing them first. unblock Apr 2020 #29
Spontaneity madamesilverspurs Apr 2020 #31
Going out to eat. JDC Apr 2020 #32
Freedom. I HATE feeling as TRAPPED as I do now... WePurrsevere Apr 2020 #33
I heard a good program yesterday wnylib Apr 2020 #38
Thanks! WePurrsevere Apr 2020 #41
OK I do miss the occasional movie Skittles Apr 2020 #34
Working in my office Generic Brad Apr 2020 #35
Going shopping and having fun while doing it. LisaL Apr 2020 #36
French kissing strangers at the laundromat. LuckyCharms Apr 2020 #37
To prevent damage to my septic system, I do my whites with bleach at a laundromat. NNadir Apr 2020 #43
Wait, what?!!!! rzemanfl Apr 2020 #55
My gym Yavin4 Apr 2020 #39
I miss going to the office every day... Violet_Crumble Apr 2020 #42
I miss my lunches with the people I work with every week. DFW Apr 2020 #44
Hugs............................. nt Hotler Apr 2020 #45
Here you go. wnylib Apr 2020 #46
Thanks.... Hotler Apr 2020 #59
Impulse happy hours with a table full of Democratic women yellowdogintexas Apr 2020 #49
life not that different deek Apr 2020 #50
The great sea-food restaurants in my beach town in Florida! at140 Apr 2020 #52
I miss I_UndergroundPanther Apr 2020 #53
I can only say "extra" is part of it. n/t rzemanfl Apr 2020 #54
hugs IADEMO2004 Apr 2020 #57
OK wnylib Apr 2020 #61
I played competitive Smash Bros tournaments at the local collage. Rizen Apr 2020 #58
I'm high maintenance, so getting my hair cut and dyed Polybius Apr 2020 #60
Hugging my daughter and granddaughter! KY_EnviroGuy Apr 2020 #62
Mugging people. smirkymonkey Apr 2020 #63
I teach. I love watching my students learn. And I learn from them. struggle4progress Apr 2020 #64

KatyMan

(4,146 posts)
16. Yes our payday treat.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 12:00 PM
Apr 2020

Cocktails out at a local outdoor mall, followed by gelato and live music on "the green" there. And Saturday afternoon at a nice restaurant or a movie or both!

greymattermom

(5,751 posts)
2. There's a burger place near me.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:36 AM
Apr 2020

Nothing fancy, but you can get a great burger and a craft beer and sit outside. I used to go on a long walk in the park, then go there. I'm almost ready to try take out from there. I've been volunteering at thrift shop. I learned that I don't miss it. My Denver daughter and my Cincinnati son and family were supposed to come visit me. It didn't happen, so I don't miss it, but I can't see them except on video now. My grandson is 14 and has grown 4 inches since the last time I saw him.

doc03

(35,143 posts)
3. My morning coffee and bs session with other retirees at
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:37 AM
Apr 2020

McDonald's, going to the gym and eating out.

Phentex

(16,330 posts)
4. coffee chats with a close friend...
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:39 AM
Apr 2020

we're talking on the phone but it's not the same.

I miss chatting with the people at the bakery & grocery store.

I miss my toddler class!

I miss babystting.

I miss trivia night at the bar!

Big event? MY SON'S COLLEGE GRADUATION. Well, postponed they say but it won't be the same.

Jamastiene

(38,187 posts)
5. Not a damn thing.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:43 AM
Apr 2020

I hate it when people get too close to me. I wish the 6 foot rule would become permanent for strangers, at least.

Being alone most of the time is the usual for me. It's weird seeing everyone else go crazy trying to live how I am forced to live as a total reject here in redneck Trump territory where I live. People are getting a small taste of how I live, and cannot handle it. Hell, try doing it because everyone around you hates you. At least there are still people who love you and want to spend time with you. Try doing it the way I am forced to do it and you'd have gone crazy far sooner. Everyone is so unbelievably spoiled.

It's the usual for me to be alone 99% of the time, because I am surrounded by right wing idiots. I'd rather be alone or dead than be around them. One of my neighbors literally told me when they shoot their guns for hours, because they are practicing to kill gays like me when Trump declares it open season on us. With social distancing, I don't miss a goddamn thing. I'm still staying away from the assholes around me, as usual. The less I have to see if these assholes, the better.

wnylib

(21,146 posts)
22. Sorry things are so bad for you there.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:56 PM
Apr 2020

I can sympathize with the part about being among RWers. A lot in my area, too. But I have found some pockets of lefties and tolerable moderates. Not being gay, I can't know first hand what you cope with, but can care as a fellow human being. Do you have an online site to go to for gay support?

 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
47. I live in a red county in the south.
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 12:19 PM
Apr 2020

I’ve never dealt with anyone acting that way to me because of my sexual orientation.

Sorry it’s that way for you. People are polite, helpful, and nice here pretty much all the time.

I_UndergroundPanther

(12,450 posts)
56. I used to be alone
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:46 PM
Apr 2020

Still alone for the most part.
I get nervous if people figure out that I am transgendered,and they are rightwingers,bad experiences.

I hope you can someday move the fuck away from there,a place you feel safe at.

NNadir

(33,368 posts)
6. I miss libraries, all of them. I still have limited access to libraries on line...
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:45 AM
Apr 2020

...but there's nothing so wonderful as sitting in a library.

Of course, if and when I have the opportunity to go back to them, I'll appreciate them more.

Cirque du So-What

(25,808 posts)
7. Actually,
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:47 AM
Apr 2020

I'll miss social distancing when things go back to 'normal.' I'm not a germophobe, but neither am I a fan of smearing personal biomes together at every opportunity. I'm fine with a nod or a wave replacing a handshake. I'll accept a hug when one is offered, but I seldom initiate one (family excepted).

SallyHemmings

(1,813 posts)
10. Hugging my Dad
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 10:58 AM
Apr 2020

After months of physical decline and about a month after Mum passed. Dad settled on a skilled nursing facility. He worked as a foreman in a steel mill, straight up blue collar. Not a bunch of hugs growing up. Not his way. He was active in the civil rights movement. We were raised in the church. Education was important. Work hard, don't give the boss a reason to fire you. We shared all the chores. We helped him and Mum. Sewing, yard work, minor car repairs. The rules changed when it came to dating. But he was clear on being responsible sexually.

His was the first department to integrate with women. He worked in the inspection department.

After 38 years, he and quite a few of his peers were given a buy out to retire. He was not ready mentally or financially.
Life took a harder turn when Mum came down with dementia. She was supposed to take care of him according to his Life play book.
Eventually, she was placed in the very facility where he resides.

But a major change came with his visits. A gentleness emerged. He fed her. Played her favorite music and simply held her hands. She finally got the little things from Dad she always wanted.

We started receiving hugs from the old man.

It is about 40 minutes from me. Growing up in the country and working in outside sales, the distance is zero big deal.

I am the middle child, only girl, responsible child so our relationship is complex. Try taking care of financial and medical decisions without Power of Attorney.

That being said, I love my Dad.

His facility is under lockdown until April 30. Thank God the staff and residents are virus free.

I will Video chat with him today.

But I miss being able to hug him.



SWBTATTReg

(21,856 posts)
11. Absolutely nothing. I miss nothing. I'm saving the lives of my loved ones and myself. Can't...
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:11 AM
Apr 2020

ask for anything more than this. Damn the hamburgers and other crap that we all thought before, was absolutely essential to life. And now, we're finding out what's really important to us.

wnylib

(21,146 posts)
17. Yes, we're resetting our priorities. Some
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:11 PM
Apr 2020

resets will become permanent, I think. Our lives will change in other ways as yet unknown. Hope most of tge changes will be positive ones.

Thanks for staying home to save lives. I am one of the vulnerable ones.

SWBTATTReg

(21,856 posts)
18. Best wishes to you definitely. My SO is working on the front lines too, at an 'essential'...
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:14 PM
Apr 2020

business (Home Depot). I get nervous but he says that they have all kinds of cleaners and disinfectants, but I still worry.

I plan on staying in place and do my meager bit to fight this thing. Again, take care and best wishes to you.

liberalmuse

(18,670 posts)
12. Not much, except going to the park
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:17 AM
Apr 2020

Until a couple days ago, I felt comfortable going to the park because there weren't many people there and those who were there were mindful of social distancing. However, last time I went I had to dodge people who were trying to get too close, and sadly, these were older people. The younger people kept their distance except for a couple kids on bikes I had to move away from. I won't be going there for awhile.

Bayard

(21,801 posts)
14. I spend most of my time alone anyway
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:23 AM
Apr 2020

I work from home, and my husband is gone for a month at a time. But I am missing the little outings....visiting a few friends, going to my favorite used bookstore (closed). I was planning a major plant buying expedition with a gardening friend, but we are delaying that now.

My brother wants to come down for a visit, and I said sure--if you're not running a temperature. Now, I wonder if that's even smart, since his company has continued working.

wnylib

(21,146 posts)
19. Brother's visit is probably not wise.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:15 PM
Apr 2020

Who will he come in contact with on the way there? What things will he touch? Who and what has he been in contact with in the 14 days before he gets there?

Be safe.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,267 posts)
21. Not a whole lot, except for lunch at my favorite little restaurant
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 02:26 PM
Apr 2020

and my art class. Otherwise I'm pretty much OK, being kind of a hermit even in normal times.

Kali

(54,990 posts)
25. full produce shelves at the store and the public pool I use in winter
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:25 PM
Apr 2020

otherwise my life is pretty much the same as it always was, with maybe a few less public meetings (not that I go to many anyway)

livetohike

(22,084 posts)
27. I belong to a community choir. We have weekly rehearsals
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:29 PM
Apr 2020

so I miss singing and talking with my friends. Doubt we will have our May concert.

Runningdawg

(4,494 posts)
28. Neighborhood dogs getting to play together.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:30 PM
Apr 2020

We don't have a dog park near by and with the exception of 2 chihuahuas and a couple shepards, ever dog on the block is a pit. On nice days 5 or 6 will end up the same yard to play while we shoot the shit over the fence. Now we stand on our porches and yell.

unblock

(51,973 posts)
29. meh. i suppose i miss being able to just open packages without sanitizing them first.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:35 PM
Apr 2020

but, small price to pay, all things considered.

we're healthy, i still have a job, i can work from home effectively, and we're homebodies anyway.

madamesilverspurs

(15,782 posts)
31. Spontaneity
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 05:38 PM
Apr 2020

Of course I miss the usual activities, the visiting, the dropping by for coffee, etc. But what really hits home for me is the emotional isolation, the inability to express basic human caring. Case in point -- a dear friend just lost a family member to cancer; I'm supposed to be one of the first ones there to offer a hug, a shoulder to cry on for as long as needed. Somehow a phone call feels so inadequate. I hate that.


.

WePurrsevere

(24,259 posts)
33. Freedom. I HATE feeling as TRAPPED as I do now...
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 06:38 PM
Apr 2020

It's one thing to stay at home because I 'want' to or can't get up the energy/motivation and another when I HAVE to stay at home because I MUST (a risk taker I'm not).

Missing hugs and cuddles from my daughter, grandchildren and other family is just plain awful but this feeling of being trapped and stuck so I can't get to them if I'm needed makes it so much worse.

The other thing I really miss is physically going shopping. It's been almost well over a year since the last of my parents died, I'm supposed to 'finally' be getting my portion of the estate and we had all sorts of plans for things we very much need/want to do/repair/replace ASAP. Most of these will be temporarily on hold.

::sigh:: There are so many putting their, and their loved ones, lives in danger out there to fight this, help save lives and make sure we can all have food, power, internet, etc so I try very hard not to think about things I am or will be missing out on right now. Unfortunately every now and then my inner gremlins instigate a bit of a pity party until I tell them to stuff it and fight those negative feeling with thinking about all of the things I 'AM' grateful for (and repeating my mantra of "this too shall pass" over and over again).

wnylib

(21,146 posts)
38. I heard a good program yesterday
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 11:12 PM
Apr 2020

about processing grief and loss during this time becayse people can't have traditional funerals and wakes.

It also covered the loss of our way of life. One thing that was emphasized is that each person's loss is real to that person. So nobody should discount their feelings on the basis that someone else has had it worse. No point in competing for the most right to feel bad. So tgeycsaid to face the loss and not bury it. Name it, feel it, and share it. Then do what things you can that bring some satisfaction or comfort in order to heal and adjust.

So it's ok to feel frustrated even if others have it worse.

Skittles

(152,963 posts)
34. OK I do miss the occasional movie
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:14 PM
Apr 2020

nothing like the big theater

but I have never been a touchy-feely person

Generic Brad

(14,270 posts)
35. Working in my office
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:47 PM
Apr 2020

I miss all my big screens and super fast computer response time. Trying to manage operations off a small laptop with an itty, bitty screen is really challenging.

LisaL

(44,962 posts)
36. Going shopping and having fun while doing it.
Wed Apr 1, 2020, 08:51 PM
Apr 2020

As opposed as being terrified shopping is going to kill me.

NNadir

(33,368 posts)
43. To prevent damage to my septic system, I do my whites with bleach at a laundromat.
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 08:13 AM
Apr 2020

I went very early this morning, as soon as it opened.

Happily no one was there, and I faced no risk of being attacked by a French kisser.

Thanks though for making me aware of this risk.

Of course, I haven't faced that kind of risk in years unless my wife is around and we're alone.

rzemanfl

(29,540 posts)
55. Wait, what?!!!!
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:44 PM
Apr 2020

This does not go with the joke you posted yesterday. Hard to know where your head is at.

Violet_Crumble

(35,954 posts)
42. I miss going to the office every day...
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 06:28 AM
Apr 2020

Also...
I miss my chair I had to leave in the office when I took my keyboard, mouse, headset, wall calender, and dual monitor home...
I miss seeing my mum, who's in lockdown in a nursing home
I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about my elderly parents or my daughter with one lung being exposed to the virus
I miss Friday long lunches at the pub
I miss the days when my home was my refuge from work....

DFW

(54,047 posts)
44. I miss my lunches with the people I work with every week.
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 10:45 AM
Apr 2020

With my schedule, this usually means one day in Spain, one day in Belgium, one day in France, one day in the Netherlands and one day in Switzerland, or some variation thereof. I thrive on the banter in the local languages of each country, and the different food in each (athough the Dutch REALLY need to improve their diets!).

While my wife is wonderful company, I do miss the cultural potpourri that makes up my normal work week. They way things are, we can't even get out to visit our German-based daughter and granddaughter down in the Taunus hills north of Frankfurt.

yellowdogintexas

(22,114 posts)
49. Impulse happy hours with a table full of Democratic women
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 07:54 PM
Apr 2020

Monthly meetings of our Democratic Woman's Club with a great program and a long lunch at our favorite Italian restaurant (it's a BYOB place)

My Sunday School Class!!! We started having virtual class on Sundays using Zoom and it has been great! Then we have a Happy Hour on Zoom on Wednesday that is just for fun . Another church group is getting together on Friday afternoons using Zoom It is so good to see everyone together even if we are all in different places.

Even though we had not planned to go anywhere until August, I find myself missing my daughter a great deal more than before this all started. She has a baby and I really want to see her but we have to wait until it is really safe to travel.

I_UndergroundPanther

(12,450 posts)
53. I miss
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 09:41 PM
Apr 2020

I miss

My once a month visit out to eat.
I miss the fun of just talking to strangers sometimes making new friends.

I miss the world before the virus.

I miss hugs.

I miss when I was not scared to touch the pharmacy counters, shopping carts touchpads, etc.
Or when I didn't have to disinfect doorknobs,light switches and other surfaces everyday.

Didn't have to wash my clothes whenever I go to a store or encounter people.

I miss the lack of anxiety.

I miss not having dried out hands.

I miss going out without a mask and glasses on.
I miss not.being.afraid I might catch the coronavirus.

I miss not tensing up when I hear a cough or sneeze in some store aisle away from where I am wondering if I should not go that way because coronavirus..

Rizen

(703 posts)
58. I played competitive Smash Bros tournaments at the local collage.
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 10:49 PM
Apr 2020

It was a weekly thing. That's a fighting video game btw.

Polybius

(15,235 posts)
60. I'm high maintenance, so getting my hair cut and dyed
Thu Apr 2, 2020, 11:22 PM
Apr 2020

I see grays coming in, and I hate shaving the back of my own neck.

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
63. Mugging people.
Fri Apr 3, 2020, 01:28 AM
Apr 2020

I really miss that sweet, easy, free money.

It will be nice when things get back to normal and I can just get on with it.

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