I got a hold of a supply of toilet paper!

[Aristus]

I was gassing up my car when, on a whim, I went into the station's convenience store and found a shelf with about three packages left.

Now I have to tell the families of the other contenders that they fought bravely, but ultimately lost out to me.


Just kidding. I took one package (because I'm not an asshole), and I'm hoping that will last us until the lock-down ends.

[SheltieLover]

1. Your lucky day!

Go buy a lotto ticket?

[calguy]

2. Be careful not to use too much

You could wipe yourself out. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[underpants]

3. Ba doom pssssh

[SeattleVet]

4. Make sure it lasts...

Be sure to use both sides!

[Aristus]

5. HA!

Hey, neighbor!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

6. Please be seated. ;)

[Aristus]

7. I suspect, by your replies, that you guys think I'm full of shit.

Not so much anymore...

[Cirque du So-What]

8. I can remember a time

when I would spin the TP roll like it was the wheel of fortune. Now it's like I'm cracking a safe.

[diva77]

13. Hilarious...

your description and...use of "crack" as some sort of obtuse pun.

[TexasTowelie]

9. Remember that since toilet paper squares are actually a three-dimensional cuboid

there are actually six faces to use for wiping: front, back, and the four edges.

If you thought you overpaid, think about the bargain you finagled if you use all six faces.

[Blue Owl]

10. And if you fold it 64 times it'll reach the moon

n/t

[safeinOhio]

11. You can double the life of it by

by flipping it over and using the other side.

[beaglelover]

12. I was shocked when I went shopping at our local

Ralphs on Friday that they had TP! It was the Kroger brand stuff but beggars can’t be choosers!! So nice to have a supply of TP for several weeks!!

[Totally Tunsie]

14. If its two-ply, you can split it in half and get double for your money!

Then, if you use both sides...

[DFW]

15. Our neighbors here in Germany told us he had read of Germans and French hoarding different things

He said Germans were hoarding toilet paper and cheese crackers, and that the French were hoarding red wine and condoms.

Whatever you think need for survival, I guess.