What, if anything, would you do about this neighbor?

[LuckyCharms]

Pregnant.

Steps outside her house everyday to smoke cigarettes.

Our houses are close together, so I see it often.

Now, I used to be a smoker...quit 7 years ago. But then again, I never forced a baby in utero to smoke.

I kind of only know one way of handling things. Like kicking the cigarette out of her hand and saying something like "What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid piece of shit". This method is probably not ideal.

What would you do, if anything?

[In_The_Wind]

1. Give her a bag of baby carrots. Suggest she try one next time she needs oral gratification.

[LuckyCharms]

2. Now that's a nice idea.

Thank you.

[emmaverybo]

3. Not a good time for smoking cause pregnancy already challenges her body. But ya know,

My gen’s moms’ smoked and some dufuses in my gen did. I was good weight, healthy and my daughter the same. Of course there’s medical lit now and you could share, but as long as she’s not hitting the bottle...

You could play dumb and ask if doctor ever said anything, share your quit strategies, see if it’s worrying her. Tell her you don’t know what the current opinion is and ask her if she does, very unjudgy. John Carr books helped people a lot and still do with quitting without scaring.

It is a tough time to quit. There’s a four day boot camp version of Carr book by a disciple. I keep meaning to read it. Baby might get more harm living with second hand. If she’s young and healthy otherwise and does not get the virus, all might be o.k. Start out with your own story if you do broach subject. Opioids I’d tend to take more of a step in seeing how best of protect the baby and see the mother stays alive.

[LuckyCharms]

4. Thank you very much for this.

There's other problems though. She's drinking and smoking weed. Those are the things I know for sure. Not sure what else she is doing.

This might be one of those times where I mind my own business because there's a lot of issues to take on there that are beyond me.

[emmaverybo]

5. Oh boy. Not good. You care, but honestly are so limited in what you can do given multiple substances

and she must be so stressed and not into self-care or baby health guarding to e doing all that. Doesn’t sound like she’d be amenable to help. So let’s pray a sensitive doctor might get involved or that no harm results to mom or baby. You were so good to want to help!

[LisaL]

16. Oh I think the kid is screwed with all the substances mom is apparently taking.

[virgogal]

10. None of your business.

[A HERETIC I AM]

27. If she is smoking cigarettes and weed as well as drinking alcohol regularly...

Then my guess is she doesn’t care about her baby.

Either that or she is determined to carry on as she always has and is ignorant of the possible harmful effects to the fetus.

Regardless, it amounts to child abuse.

If she was blowing smoke into an infants face, what would you do?

[KY_EnviroGuy]

6. Maybe she needs a compassionate friend.

Folks still using that many substances as crutches usually do.

That was what I needed before I quit the cigs and alcohol and I'll never forget those kind people that gave me an ounce of self-esteem and courage.

KY.....

[jberryhill]

7. I could not imagine telling my neighbor how to run their life

Strangers on the internet, sure. But that’s different.

[LuckyCharms]

13. There are no strangers on the internet.

I view us all as one big family.

[zanana1]

8. The chance of you changing her behavior is just about 0.

I wouldn't do anything.

[qwlauren35]

9. Nothing.

You can't solve every stupid problem in America.

If anything, stuff a note near her mailbox around midnight outlining in a few large print sentences, the dangers of smoking pregnant.

She has an addiction, as you well know. Quitting is hard. As you well know.

Oh, another idea, if you know her and care about HER (not the baby), hang a box of Nicorettes at her door. Yes, that's expensive, but it might be the jump-start she needs. And send a PERSONAL note, saying that you quit, and you'd be happy to help be her support system if she wants to try.

[Wawannabe]

11. I smoked while pregnant

Guess I am a piece of shit.

Oh well.

[LuckyCharms]

12. No, and I apologize to you for posting an incomplete picture of

the situation. After re-reading my OP, I can see how it would be taken as an insult to other people. I posted it out of frustration, and I'm sorry.

If I had done it right, I would have posted the 50 other factors that caused me to call this person the name that I did.

It was my mistake, and caused me to appear overly judgmental about one particular issue. I believe that the post hurt your feelings, and I understand why it did. It was entirely due to the fact that I typed something hurtful without explaining myself more fully. I'm truly sorry. I will try to be more thoughtful in the future when I post something like this.

Without going into too many details, this individual is doing things that are affecting my life personally, and I'm bitter. It's a tricky situation for me to solve, because there are a lot of variables involved.

[Wawannabe]

20. Thanks

[LuckyCharms]

24. .

[elleng]

14. "What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid piece of shit"

is SO wrong, it's almost laughable.

Have children? Teach them in this manner? Successful?

[LuckyCharms]

15. Well, I'm a big believer in treating others like I am treated by them

so there's that...

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

22. So, you should treat her like we treat that weird uncle in our internet family.

Not sayin' nothin' about anyone in particular, of course.

[lillypaddle]

17. 52 years ago (almost)

when I had my son, smoking was not a big deal. Smoked the whole pregnancy. Had some drinks, too, although not excessively. Of course I wouldn't recommend this, it was just a different time. He had some breathing issues when he was born, although he was over 9 lbs and it was a long and hard delivery. As far as I know, all else was and has been okay.

I think your neighbor knows the "talk," it's hard to miss nowadays. As much as we'd like to, we can't control the behavior of others.

Long way of saying to let it go and hope for the best. BUT, because I'm a big mouth and controlling, I'd say something.

[Laffy Kat]

18. It doesn't matter if it repulses you or not.

It is her body, her choice. Butt out (pun intended).

[LuckyCharms]

19. You're right.

This was a bad OP. Like I stated in an apology above, her smoking while pregnant is probably not the real issue I'm having with her. If I explained everything that has happened from the beginning, it's so surreal, nobody would believe it anyway.

I considered deleting the OP after giving it some thought, but decided to keep it up and take my lumps.

[Laffy Kat]

23. Still, it is also true that most of us share your concerns. nt

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

21. Nothing. You aren't going to change her behavior.

Although I suppose you could congratulate her for having the common sense to keep smoking during pregnancy so as to produce a low birth-weight baby and make her labor a little easier.

[ailsagirl]

25. IMO, someone like that is beyond hope

[MissMillie]

26. or maybe just addicted to nicotine (n/t)

.