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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsWhat, if anything, would you do about this neighbor?
Pregnant.
Steps outside her house everyday to smoke cigarettes.
Our houses are close together, so I see it often.
Now, I used to be a smoker...quit 7 years ago. But then again, I never forced a baby in utero to smoke.
I kind of only know one way of handling things. Like kicking the cigarette out of her hand and saying something like "What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid piece of shit". This method is probably not ideal.
What would you do, if anything?
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)LuckyCharms
(22,186 posts)Thank you.
emmaverybo
(8,148 posts)My gens moms smoked and some dufuses in my gen did. I was good weight, healthy and my daughter the same. Of course theres medical lit now and you could share, but as long as shes not hitting the bottle...
You could play dumb and ask if doctor ever said anything, share your quit strategies, see if its worrying her. Tell her you dont know what the current opinion is and ask her if she does, very unjudgy. John Carr books helped people a lot and still do with quitting without scaring.
It is a tough time to quit. Theres a four day boot camp version of Carr book by a disciple. I keep meaning to read it. Baby might get more harm living with second hand. If shes young and healthy otherwise and does not get the virus, all might be o.k. Start out with your own story if you do broach subject. Opioids Id tend to take more of a step in seeing how best of protect the baby and see the mother stays alive.
LuckyCharms
(22,186 posts)There's other problems though. She's drinking and smoking weed. Those are the things I know for sure. Not sure what else she is doing.
This might be one of those times where I mind my own business because there's a lot of issues to take on there that are beyond me.
emmaverybo
(8,148 posts)and she must be so stressed and not into self-care or baby health guarding to e doing all that. Doesnt sound like shed be amenable to help. So lets pray a sensitive doctor might get involved or that no harm results to mom or baby. You were so good to want to help!
LisaL
(47,365 posts)virgogal
(10,178 posts)A HERETIC I AM
(24,871 posts)Then my guess is she doesnt care about her baby.
Either that or she is determined to carry on as she always has and is ignorant of the possible harmful effects to the fetus.
Regardless, it amounts to child abuse.
If she was blowing smoke into an infants face, what would you do?
KY_EnviroGuy
(14,770 posts)Folks still using that many substances as crutches usually do.
That was what I needed before I quit the cigs and alcohol and I'll never forget those kind people that gave me an ounce of self-esteem and courage.
KY.....
jberryhill
(62,444 posts)Strangers on the internet, sure. But thats different.
LuckyCharms
(22,186 posts)I view us all as one big family.
zanana1
(6,467 posts)I wouldn't do anything.
qwlauren35
(6,309 posts)You can't solve every stupid problem in America.
If anything, stuff a note near her mailbox around midnight outlining in a few large print sentences, the dangers of smoking pregnant.
She has an addiction, as you well know. Quitting is hard. As you well know.
Oh, another idea, if you know her and care about HER (not the baby), hang a box of Nicorettes at her door. Yes, that's expensive, but it might be the jump-start she needs. And send a PERSONAL note, saying that you quit, and you'd be happy to help be her support system if she wants to try.
Wawannabe
(6,886 posts)Guess I am a piece of shit.
Oh well.
LuckyCharms
(22,186 posts)the situation. After re-reading my OP, I can see how it would be taken as an insult to other people. I posted it out of frustration, and I'm sorry.
If I had done it right, I would have posted the 50 other factors that caused me to call this person the name that I did.
It was my mistake, and caused me to appear overly judgmental about one particular issue. I believe that the post hurt your feelings, and I understand why it did. It was entirely due to the fact that I typed something hurtful without explaining myself more fully. I'm truly sorry. I will try to be more thoughtful in the future when I post something like this.
Without going into too many details, this individual is doing things that are affecting my life personally, and I'm bitter. It's a tricky situation for me to solve, because there are a lot of variables involved.
Wawannabe
(6,886 posts)elleng
(141,926 posts)is SO wrong, it's almost laughable.
Have children? Teach them in this manner? Successful?
LuckyCharms
(22,186 posts)so there's that...
JustABozoOnThisBus
(24,634 posts)Not sayin' nothin' about anyone in particular, of course.
lillypaddle
(9,606 posts)when I had my son, smoking was not a big deal. Smoked the whole pregnancy. Had some drinks, too, although not excessively. Of course I wouldn't recommend this, it was just a different time. He had some breathing issues when he was born, although he was over 9 lbs and it was a long and hard delivery. As far as I know, all else was and has been okay.
I think your neighbor knows the "talk," it's hard to miss nowadays. As much as we'd like to, we can't control the behavior of others.
Long way of saying to let it go and hope for the best. BUT, because I'm a big mouth and controlling, I'd say something.
Laffy Kat
(16,902 posts)It is her body, her choice. Butt out (pun intended).
LuckyCharms
(22,186 posts)This was a bad OP. Like I stated in an apology above, her smoking while pregnant is probably not the real issue I'm having with her. If I explained everything that has happened from the beginning, it's so surreal, nobody would believe it anyway.
I considered deleting the OP after giving it some thought, but decided to keep it up and take my lumps.
Laffy Kat
(16,902 posts)The Velveteen Ocelot
(129,736 posts)Although I suppose you could congratulate her for having the common sense to keep smoking during pregnancy so as to produce a low birth-weight baby and make her labor a little easier.
ailsagirl
(24,287 posts)MissMillie
(39,591 posts).
