Groucho Humor

[kairos12]

He once remarked:

"How do you make a Venetian Blind?

"Get him drunk first."

[Mme. Defarge]

1. "Sire,sire! Our men are being attacked by gas!

“Try stewed prunes and bicarbonate of soda.”

Or words to that effect. I think it was in Duck Soup.

[mitch96]

2. The one I thought was histerical was done on Live TV in the mid '50s

I think it was a game show called "Who do you trust"... Two contestants and as per the show Groucho made some small talk with the gent and the lady. When talking to the female contestant he asked if she had any children. She said, why yes I have 6 children.. With out batting an eye Groucho looked into the camera and said
"I like to eat but I take the spoon out of my mouth every once in a while"...... I died laughing on that one.....
m

[Aristus]

4. "Why six children?"

"Well, I love my husband."

"Lady, I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while..."

[mitch96]

5. I knew I was close... ;) nt

[Turbineguy]

3. "What are you doing in my closet?"

(Margeret Dumont of course)

"Nothing! Come in!"

[DFW]

6. "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas"

"How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."

[Iggo]

7. "Sir! There are four stowaways hiding in the hold."

"How do you know there's four?"

"They're singing Sweet Adeline."